Judge: Mr. Avenatti this Court will be appointing counsel for you.
The instrumental theme of @LRCkcrw ATPL plays louder and louder
Judge: I’ll appoint Ken White
Avenatti: But he’s a nobody! Everybody calls me and tells me so!
Meanwhile somewhere in the greater LA, @Popehat is giddy in anticipation of the funnel cake he is about to order from the food truck.
Suddenly, Ken is struck by a sharp, stabbing pain behind his ey that will not relent causing him to return to his office without funnel cake.
Judge: Ken, I have appointed you as counsel for Mr. Avenatti.
@Popehat: But your honor, that’s not a good—
Judge: I DONT CARE! ITS YOUR TURN!
Still funnel cakeless and alone, Ken mumbles that “I cast the spell of asshole on that judge.”
Without warning the stabbing pain behind Ken’s eye magnifies by a factor of 10.
Secretary: Ken, you have a call from a Mr. Avenatti.
Mrs. Popehat: Well, what is it?
@Popehat: I’ve been appointed as counsel for Michael Avenatti.
Mrs. Popehat and Kids:
With the sound of his family laughing hysterically downstairs and a dull ache behind his eye, Ken says “screw it, I deserve that damn funnel cake, and I’m going to get it.”
@Popehat rushes to the garage and jumps into his custom van called the “Nat 20” with a 20 sided die painted on the side and drives off into the night searching for funnel cake and fighting the carceral state as a lawyer of fortune.