Thread by @Women4Popehat

1/
Judge: Mr. Avenatti this Court will be appointing counsel for you.

Avenatti: Who?

The instrumental theme of @LRCkcrw ATPL plays louder and louder

Judge: I’ll appoint Ken White

Avenatti: But he’s a nobody! Everybody calls me and tells me so!

https://twitter.com/jbarro/status/1125526769694646273

2/

Meanwhile somewhere in the greater LA, @Popehat is giddy in anticipation of the funnel cake he is about to order from the food truck.
Suddenly, Ken is struck by a sharp, stabbing pain behind his ey that will not relent causing him to return to his office without funnel cake.

3/ As our hero returns to his office to sit in the dark. He is informed that he has a call.

Judge: Ken, I have appointed you as counsel for Mr. Avenatti.

@Popehat: But your honor, that’s not a good—

Judge: I DONT CARE! ITS YOUR TURN!

4/
Still funnel cakeless and alone, Ken mumbles that “I cast the spell of asshole on that judge.”

Without warning the stabbing pain behind Ken’s eye magnifies by a factor of 10.

Secretary: Ken, you have a call from a Mr. Avenatti.

5/ Later that afternoon, @Popehat calls @jbarro to inform him there will need to be changes to @LRCkcrw ALTPL.

@Popehat: Josh, I’ve been appointed counsel for Michael Avenatti. We’re going to have to make—

@jbarro:

6/
Ken hangs up the phone as @jbarro is still uncontrollably laughing.

@Popehat decides He’ll check into #twitter his one refuge other than funnel cake.

Ken opens up the twitter app and sees his mentions are a poisoned with “@Popehat, is Michael Avenatti a good lawyer?”

7/.
Unable to seek refuge in #twitter and with the pain in his eye slightly dulling, @Popehat goes home early.

As Ken enters his home, his wife and children are in the kitchen discussing some school related detail. And the cats, as usual, ignore Ken.

8/.

@Popehat: I’m home how was your day?

Mrs. White: Oh your home early!

9/ @Popehat: I’ve got some news.

The kid’s ears perk up.

Mrs. White: What is it?

@Popehat Well—

Mrs. Popehat: You’re not going on that 10 day D&D cruise! We don’t have the time!

@Popehat: No, no that’s not it.

10/
Mrs. Popehat: Well, what is it?

@Popehat: I’ve been appointed as counsel for Michael Avenatti.

Mrs. Popehat and Kids:

11/ @Popehat dejected, goes to change his clothes and clean up.
With the sound of his family laughing hysterically downstairs and a dull ache behind his eye, Ken says “screw it, I deserve that damn funnel cake, and I’m going to get it.”

12/xx

@Popehat rushes to the garage and jumps into his custom van called the “Nat 20” with a 20 sided die painted on the side and drives off into the night searching for funnel cake and fighting the carceral state as a lawyer of fortune.