Thread by @VisionPoet

Trashterpiece Theater Presents:
The Seven Drinks Jawn.
Aka Finessa Del Rio.
Aka She Really Tried It.
Aka Broke Fxckboys Are Crafty

#TrashterpieceTheater #TPTEpisode5

So back in the 90s to the mid 200s, I was a corner boy. I wasn’t a thug, or drug dealer, but I was thug and drug dealer adjacent.
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2pm or 2am, you could find me on the corner of 22nd and Lippincott in North Philly with an assortment of guys. Students, hustlers, shooters, players, gamblers.
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A trash nigga buffet. A fxckboy bag of skittles if you will
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After awhile we started branching out from our regular hangout spot, The Stinger (see #TPTEpisode2), and hit up spots downtown. Couldn’t tell us shit.
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We even started renting out spaces throwing our own parties. And by me, I mean my homie Terry and his getting money friends because my broke ass didn’t put up any money.
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Oh, but best believe I Was showing the fxck up like I was getting money too
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Back then it was common for parties to have themes. White parties (had to wear all white). Black parties, etc. The best party to throw was a linen party. Had to be dressed in all linen
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The most poppin spot to throw your linen party in Philly was this spot on the riverfront called Hibachi. Something about the water attracted the basic women we coveted
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So this one time we (they) were throwing a party, I was SUPER broke. Couldn’t afford a new linen outfit, so I was gonna fall back. I mean, I couldn’t be seen in a rerun linen ‘fit.
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But my one homie, Darnell, wouldn’t not let me go. When I swallowed my pride and told him why I couldn’t go, he gave me a few hundred dollars for an outfit and new shoes
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I was broke, but no one there needed to know. Showed up to the party like
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We rolled out to the party 10 deep, in 5 cars. Because nxggas. Pulled into the parking lot and saw a dozen or so women leaving the party, which typically isn’t a good sign.
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So now we’re nervous af. When you’re a peak level fxckboy, the last thing you wanna see is women LEAVING the damn party.
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We ask them why they were leaving and one woman responded, “It’s a peach party in there. Way too many women!”
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MY NXGGA! We couldn’t get in there fast enough.
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We get inside, slide past one of our homies taking tickets at the front, and see HEAVEN. Nothing. But. Women.
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Women on the dance floor. Women sitting down. Women at the bar. As far as the eye could see, women ripe for the fxckboy picking.
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Normally, we’d come in, chill for a bit, take in the scene, grab a drink, then dance after a while. But that night, we went straight to the dance floor with the desired results
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You ever see a tank full of piranhas feeding? Someone throws a bit of meat into the tank and a frenzy pops off. That. They were piranha, we were fxckboy filet.
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The god of trash nxggas is merciful! We danced with two to three women at a time. Whenever one of us tried to leave the dance floor, another woman grabbed us and pulled us back.
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About a dozen or so songs later, I saw her. From across the room. Staring at me. Smiling. Being all seductive and shit. I had one woman behind me, and one in front, but all I could see was her.
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As the song was ending, and the DJ was mixing in the next song (Flipside by @Phillyfreezer and @realpeedicrakk), she walked over and grabbed my hand
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Straight took me away from the other two women, not like I fought or anything. Grabbed my hand and led me away.
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Took me to an unoccupied place on the dancefloor and started dancing on me. And by dancing, I mean seducing the fxck outta me. To FLIPSIDE!
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Who gets seduced to Flipside yo? All time Philly classic, but who gets all sexy with it for fxcking FLIPSIDE?
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Like, “Que tu quieres mujeres, said she blow la-la
FLIPSIDE - and she my baby mama” FLIPSIDE Flipside!
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Needless to say the peach party turned into just she and I. And after like five songs, she grabbed me by me head and said, “I’m thirsty”
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Then it dawned on me. Hibachi drinks were like $20/piece and I was broke. But I mean, she didn’t need to know that.
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Sometimes you just gotta have an honest conversation with yourself like, “Do I really need to eat lunch ALL week?”
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So we walk to the bar. And by walk I mean she floated and I surfed over from the excess drool spewing outta my mouth watching that ass walk in front of me
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Me: Whatchu drinking?
Her: Belvedere and Cranberry.
Me (in my head): FUCK!
Me (actually): Cool!
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As I’m about to order he drink she stops me and says, “My friends are thirsty too!”
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I turn around and see six other women standing behind me. Like I still don’t know from whence they came.
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So now I’m broke AND on the spot. Do I tell her I’m broke? Do I deny them and look cheap? So I did what any real nxgga would’ve done, “Order what I yall want”
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She leans over to the bartender and says, “Seven Belvee and cranberry’s please!” Heffa didn’t even order me anything!
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So as she’s ordering, I noticed she completely forgot about me. Started yucking it up with the women who apparently ascended through the floor
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So… I walked smooth the fxck off!
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Back to the dancefloor with all the women who needed an available fxck nxgga to dance with.
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Jay Z's "La La La" was on, and that's my shit, so I was dancing extra hard I as glanced back over at the bar to see them scrambling to pay the tab.
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I mean, they were digging DEEP down to the bottom of their purses. Deep down where the souls and dreams of other nxggas laid dormant.
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I there I was, on the dancefloor, last bastion of coins tucked securely on my pocket, dancing on somebody's 20 something year old daughter.
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After the party, I ran into Finessa Williams in the hallway. Pretty sure she was waiting for me. I was expecting a confrontation, but instead she said, "Damn, you got us good!"
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"I was drawlin*, but we always get nxggas like that!"
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*drawlin/drawin is Philly slang which typically means a person, place, or thing is doing entirely too much.

"Take my number. Call me sometime"
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Wrote it down, tucked it in my pocket, and threw that shit in the trash when she was out of sight. FXCK THAT! I assumed she was gonna get revenge. Won't get me!
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Tomorrow's #TrashterpieceTheater is called The Deacon's Daughter. Yeah. Kinda explains it all.

If you liked this, and don't want to wait until tomorrow, the other stories are archived on my IG page in the highlights ---> @ visionpoet
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