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1) When I was 8 years old I had been living with Terry Everroad in Bloomington, Indiana for about a year. He kicked me out and told me I was "an evil influence on the family". Apparently when his 14 year old step son introduced me to sexuality it was my fault.
2) I was 7 and Terry's step son Tom molested me. Later that year my mother would die out west in California alone. I care about that even though I acknowledge that she was a part of my abuse. To be honest I care about all of them or I wouldn't still be trying to understand them.
3) I was 6 when I was living with my grandparents in Arizona for first grade. It was lonely and confusing. One night I woke up as my mother climbed into my bed and hugged me...she had just gotten into town and I had missed her so much. We moved into a trailer later that month.
4) I was 5 I cowered in the footwell of my father's van while I heard gunfire coming from the house we were parked in front of and yelling. I was also 'making a baby' with my little sister Oeuvre in the back of that van. It was for film. Or maybe perverted heiros gamos.
5) I was 4 when a living bat was imprinted in my mind and I read the encyclopedia for the first time. I don't know how I could but I did. Reading was never difficult. I knew then "don't worry, it will grow back" because of salamanders in the encyclopedia. This saved my mind...
6)...during a ritual when I was somehow severed from my full connection to self. Even now, while feeling diminished, these words come to my ears. Don't worry, it will grow back.
7) It does, you know. Grow back. 💚🙏💚
