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I never really understood the whole “empty your cup” and “unlearn what you have learned” thing until maybe a couple of years ago. Like, intellectually it sorta made sense, but... is it really that big a deal?
It actually is, IMO, and I’m wondering now how I learned to see it
It actually is, IMO, and I’m wondering now how I learned to see it
I think it might‘ve been a consequence of being exposed to a much larger number of people and having lots of conversations - over time I noticed that some people were bringing all their baggage to every conversation, while others were listening intently
“never be looking so hard for something that you fail to see what is there” - there’s a quote like this and I’ve seen people retweet saying “ah it’s about journalism” and others saying “ah it’s about scientific discovery” and “ah it’s about parenting”
~~It’s about life~~
~~It’s about life~~
If you start looking for it there are tonnes of gems throughout the history of art and culture and storytelling that try to convey this. In TDKR, Batman couldn’t make the leap until he let go of the rope. A metaphor for letting go, more broadly, in general
We can probably graph this in some way. When we’re holding on to preexisting ideas abt what we’re looking for, who we’re talking to, etc - there’s a sort of Procrustean effect. We mostly only see what we’re looking for. It makes us slow, stupid. We fail to notice nuance, surprise
We might *feel* fast and smart, but we’re only fast and smart within the narrow bounds of the game that we think we’re playing.
When we are fixated on the game we think we’re playing, we close ourselves off from playing a bigger, better, more interesting game
When we are fixated on the game we think we’re playing, we close ourselves off from playing a bigger, better, more interesting game
Circling back to “active listening” - that’s another thing that sounded dumb to me. I hear what you’re saying, why do I have to be all... wooey... about it?
But I’ve grown to realize that words they say are like ~20% of what’s being communicated
But I’ve grown to realize that words they say are like ~20% of what’s being communicated
The best questions you can ask someone is in that space where you’re paying close attention to them - to their face, their expressions, their body language, and you notice that they’re holding back in some way. They might not even realize themselves that they’re doing that!
This is true for regular conversation too, and I think it’s true of comedy, wit, and of business - IMO I almost always want to be willing + able to drop my current routine/pattern instantly in order to respond quickly and nimbly to what’s in front of me
At the heart of this, I think, is a question: do we allow life to surprise us?
Bc everything we think we know is a *tiny* fragment of the world. The world *will* surprise us, in both good & bad ways.
Emptying your cup is about refusing to be in denial
Bc everything we think we know is a *tiny* fragment of the world. The world *will* surprise us, in both good & bad ways.
Emptying your cup is about refusing to be in denial
