Thread by @VisionPoet

#TrashterpieceTheater #TPTEpisde13
Cindy The Soul Snatcher
aka Cindy The Savage
aka But Ya Man Right There Tho!
aka When Cougars Attack

So back in undergrad there was this jawn named Cindy (not her name). We used to flirt like crazy, but never did anything. She’d get wasted af at parties and say the nastiest shit to me. But…
#TrashterpieceTheater #TPTEpisde13

1. Consent Culture… Perritti taught us this early. She used to be higher than Giraffe pxssy on ecstasy and that’s not consent or cute.
2. She was cool with my on again, off again gf which was foul

Like my gf and her used to have lunch together and she used to tell Cindy about the shit we were doing (mistake!!!). Cindy used to listen and get wasted and wanna find out for herself.
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This went on for years. And I know I should’ve told my girl, but I didn’t, because I was basic, and she would’ve spazzed, and I kinda liked the attention anyway. I know. I know.
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In my trash ass defense, I need did anything with her… while we were in school.
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Fast fwd a few years. I graduated and I’m back on campus for HOEmecoming. Me and my homies went to an off campus club in Camp Hill, near Harrisburg called Winnies or Gwennies or some goofy shit like that.
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It was a weird club but it played hip hop unlike most of the spots around there. The demographic was weird. It would be young people our age, but there’d also be like 40+ year old recently divorced white women tryna bag young brothas.
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Some would call them cougars, but they were more like hardened battle cats. But that’s another story. But I will say this old yt woman offered to be my Sugar Mama if I gave her the peen and my dumbass scoffed.
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So if you happen to read this, tall white lady from Chamberburg PA who had the silver Jaguar and wanted to spend her alimony checks on me, I’m sorry and I miss you. HEY BOO! #PayMySallieMae #Reparations
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So anyway, we slid in the club and played MILF slalom through the crowd. My homies hit the dance floor probably listening to some pre-scheming JaRule, and I hit the bar.
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There was a guy passed out at the bar with his head plopped on his hands. There was a woman rubbing his head, comforting him. She lifted her head and I saw it was Cindy.
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She perks up. Loudly says my name. The guy picks his head up, confused. “Honey, this is my friend from school. Dan, meet Perry.”
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Sidenote, I don’t know if his name was actually Dan, but he looked like a Dan. Or a Cooper. He also looked like he could’ve been a background vocalist for Dave Matthews Band.
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So Connor reaches out to shake my hand but it’s wet from beer, or drool, or vomit. I just said what’s up to him and pet it pushing. He put his head back down, and Cindy jump up to give me a hug
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Tanner passed back out and Cindy grabbed me by the hand and yelled over to Brady, “Honey, I’m gonna go dance with Perry.” Parker murmured something inaudible.
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We go to the dance floor and she starts backing it up on me. And I’m looking at the bar to see if Chase was looking at us. But he was still over there, head down, smelling like Coors light and poor decisions
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DJ plays Get Ur Freak On and Cindy turns around and takes @MissyElliott words personal. Grabs my hands and puts them on her ass.
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Lights, Camera, Action comes on and she’s slow grinding on me and grabbing me by the back of the head. I look over at the bar and Carter is still there smelling like Jagermeister and regret
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It was feeling like that scene in DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS when Denzel was betting the brakes off Lisa Nicole Carson when her man was in the next room.
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Sidenote, one time for Lisa Nicole Carson’s fine, thick, dope ass self!
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So Cindy and I are outta pocket. Way outta pocket. She starts whispering in my ear, “I can’t wait to drop my man off… You and I have unfinished business.” She starts telling me all the things she’s gonna do to me.
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So I’m with the shits, bereft of tangible fucks. She went over to the bar, reached over Tucker, grabbed a pen and wrote down her address on a napkin. “Meet me here around 3!”
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So I’m like, “Damn, I gotta wait til 3” half jokingly.
She looked at the bar, then back at me and said, “Where are you parked?”
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We go to the parking lot and she wasted nary a moment. Head immediately in my lap. I couldn’t tell if she was a Jedi level master or if it was good because of how taboo it all was.
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Either way, thank God Jared’s wasn’t open because I would’ve driven straight there and bought her ass any ring she wanted.
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There were mad people in the parking lot and she didn’t care. People walked by looking in the car watching her do her thing. A couple was arguing and the man, looking in the car said, “Maybe if you did this more often I’d come home on time.”
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Cindy didn’t break stride. Don’t even know if she heard them tbh. It didn’t take long before…
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“And that’s just a preview of later” as she got out the car.
I’m sitting there like "PREVIEW?????"
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She walked back in the club as I sat there for a couple minutes contemplating life and wondering if I was ok with the glorious fxcknificent trash that just transpired.
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I walk back in and see her walking toward Harrison who was awake, kinda, and talking to another couple, “Oh, here she is,” he says to the couple. He pulled Cindy close and introduced her to the other couple.
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Then he leaned in to kiss her…….
And as he’s leaning in, she makes eye contact with me.
Then leans in and kisses Aiden while keeping eye contact with me
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I just put my head down and walked back to where my homies were getting harassed by the older Mae O. Naze women.
Me: Y’all ready to go?
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We dip. In the car I told them what happened and they started judging me and feeling bad for Parker. “You violated for shaking that man’s hand and then getting dome from his girl.”
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“Oh nah, I didn’t shake his hand. He was drunk and his hand wet so I just gave him a nod.”
Homie: Oh you cool then. Fxck it. Let’s go to Sheetz.
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Went back to campus. 3am came and went and I didn’t go over Cindy’s house.
That night. Or the next.
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But that following weekend...
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uAnd we jumped off a couple times. And as I started to catch feelings from her, I cut it off. Because she’s way more savage than I am, and who needs those problems. She already snatched my soul, she couldn’t have my heart too.
#TrashterpieceTheater #TPTEpisde13p.

Yup. I ran like fxck. And ghosted her. Judge ya mama! :)

Thanks for reading. Laugh. Share. Judge. If you enjoyed and wanna read more, go to my IG page (@ visionpoet) and check out the Trasterpiece Theater stories in my highlights

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