Thread by @Ra_Bies

Going back to the old good days when Soni was younger, once she noticed a man peeping from the window while she was changing. She immediately came out not caring that she was hardly wearing anything & she saw a man running away to the woods. However she could recognise him

Soni knew the man who saw her when she was changing. As we all know Soni is a cool, composes & highly dignified woman. Next day she called that man home & scolded him “Kyon Bhencho Kamat, kabhi koi chhori na dekhi, ghar mein ma behen na hai ke, tein toh Raj ka dost hai”

Kamat was gutsy, he was a dark skinned man with big red oozing eyes. He kept his face straight. Soni continued “Kaalu Kamat, jawaab de”. Kamat responded “Madam I know who all you sleep with, I find you very hot, I tried coming close to you many times but you ignored me”

Listening Kamat, Soni who was a rational person thought about it & her heart melted “Kaalu, thhari baat toh ghani sahi laage, aaj shaam ek party rakhi sey, tein aa jaayiyo, kuchh naach gaana kareinge thhare sang”, Kamat got the hint & was pleased. A clipping from that evening

“Madam apne pradesh ka hai ye Kamat”, Dig said trying to win brownie points. “Lodu, thhare se kisi ne poochha ke, ja drink bana ke la”, Soni ordered. “Ghana majja aa gaya aaj toh”, Soni told Kamat. “Madam thoda maza hamme bhi do”, Soni took him to her room & pulled down her gown

Kamat couldn’t take his eyes off from Soni’s beautiful body, her curves & lusty expressions. He was a thirsty wolf, he immediately kissed her everywhere. “Kamat ohhhhh Kamat, thaade mein ghana josh se, aaj mita de meri bhookh aur apni pyaas”, Soni couldn’t control herself

Soni after the act, told Kamat “Kaalia, ab toh tanne yakeen ho gaya main sab ne khush rakhu hun, tu mhaare liye deal la, 10 percent thhara aur haan tu ek din CM banega”. Kamat zipping his pants thanked Soni & said “Rani Sahiba mai tum ma bete ka ghulaam rahunga, it’s my promise”

Soni met an ugly but influential man from Maharashtra, his name was Shapa. He was older & couldn’t even speak properly, trying to impress Soni he said “Humzz ko bhi chancexx do kabhizzz tumgg ko khushzz kardungaqq”, Soni covered her nose & said “Bhagg saale”, Shapa felt insulted

That night Shapa didn’t rest his hand but kept on thinking how to avenge Soni. Next morning it he along with another aide Saanga left the party. When Soni was asked for her reaction, she said “Manne ghanta na pharak pade inn jaise chhachhunder ke jaane se”, She was as arrogant

Soni was a strong woman, she was never afraid of her opponents, she always took bull by the horns. Her only weakness was & is, her son Clown who was growing physically but not mentally. Clown couldn’t do his day to day activities by himself. He was an adult but used to wet bed

Soni had inflicted in her children a feeling that her family owned India & Indians were family’s slaves & they were supposed to do what she wished. Clown gathered a sense of entitlement. He was headstrong, used to abuse his servants & even his teachers. Soni ignored his tantrums

Clown had irrational development because of mismatch between her body & brain. Also Soni’s lust for men was still very strong. Clown used to see men visiting Soni & disappearing in her room for some time & then coming back with a content & satisfied smile on their face

Narrater informs me, there is an error. It’s not her but ‘his body & brain’. I, being a typist caused this error & hence apologise. Having said it the narrater also informs me, Clown & his sister Pink look alike & it becomes difficult to distinguish, so many ppl make this mistake

Once Soni called Sas Farur “Aaj raat ne aa jayoyi, khaas wine hai, aur ek nayi dress bhi li hai, tein hi khole ga ussne”. But Sas had an appointment with another woman so he declined the offer. This left Soni fuming & she scolded all the servants, she slapped Dig & Nigga Raju

Soni’s empire had a tough time, because of arrogance of Soni & Clown. Sas Farur who still had some charm left in him told Soni “If you allow, I can come on top & quickly transform & farrago the organisation”, Soni laughed & said “Tamne mere top par rehna sey na ke mhari party ke”

On an entirely different note, Soni never liked Nadal. She rather hates his name and has never uttered his name intentionally or otherwise. She says it’s against her principles.
I asked the narrator why is it so? He just laughed

Once Clown Prince sucking his thumb asked Soni “What’s our religion?”, Soni was overwhelmed as she never expected such an intelligent question from his dumbo son. She paused for a moment & replied “Mhara ek hi majhab sey, Hindustaniyon ne paagal banaana aur unka chutiya kaatna”

Seducing men, irrespective of their religion or caste was a doddle for Soni. She seduced numerous men in her long career. Now she wanted to puppet control blue turbaned punjabi Manmosi who was supposedly a man of principles. She called him home, while he was drinking, Soni danced

Though readers are well acquainted with most of the characters in Soni’s life, still there are many untold tales.
Soni had a servant, a short man, who belonged to Gujarat, he was a converted Muzlim. Happy with his loyalty, Soni called him & said “Apte, ab se tu mhara cashier”

Now Raju the Nigga was no longer a house maid at Soni’s place, he was a journalist. Once Soni asked him to take and broadcast her interview. Raju went candid & asked Soni about the men in her life. Here is how Soni replied

While Raj & Soni were dating in London, Raj got a telegram from his mother & he had to rush to India. “Tu waspas to aawega na Raj”, Soni asked. Raj promised her that he’d marry her only. Soni had complete trust over his words

As you all know Soni after getting married continued to meet Maddy. But he was apprehensive & concerned that anyone should not know about their affair. Once when a very horny Soni arrived during late hours, this happened

It was 1992 WC that Soni invited all his men to watch the finals. All celebrated Pak’s win. A joyous Soni asked Sas Farur “Manne Paki Captain ghana bha gaya, koi jugaad sey?”, Farur said “But Pak is an enemy country”, “Jism ki bhookh dushman dost na dekhe”, a horny Soni said

Apte, the short Muzlim man from Gujarat was called upon by Soni, loiking worried, she dropped her pally & said “Apte manne thhare ne kitni baar khush kiya, croro rupaye diye, tu ja ibb Gujju Asha ko set kar le, nahin toh yo manne aur mhare chutiya chhore ne jail mei daal devega”

After Raj was no more, men around Soni hovered around her like honey bees & she loved attention. An older loyalist called Motil once came & Soni who always obliged men, offered her scotch. After couple of drinks she asked “Motil saraab kaisi sey?”, Intoxicated Motil replied:

Very recently Dumbo Prince asked his mom “Momma why do you sleep with every one from our party”, Soni replied with a pride “Manne jism ki bhoookh lage sey, manne jism ka bhookh thanda karna Howe se” Prince said “Momma mere ko toh koi bhi bhookh nahin lagta”

Once Soni took her servants, Dig, Kamat, Raju & Saggo to a posh restaurant at Khan Market. Manager there welcomed her but refused to let Raju let enter in claiming that Niggas weren’t allowed. At this moment Soni got furious, slapped the manager & told him “Yo Saggo ka mard sey”