,
6 tweets,
2 min read
Read on Twitter
Tory Leadership Excuse-o-meter
I took drugs in the past, but... (circle all that apply)
A) I was young.
B) I was foolish.
C) They had no effect on me.
D) I thought they were just icing sugar/funny smelling cigarettes/DIY Botox.
E) It would have been rude not to.
I took drugs in the past, but... (circle all that apply)
A) I was young.
B) I was foolish.
C) They had no effect on me.
D) I thought they were just icing sugar/funny smelling cigarettes/DIY Botox.
E) It would have been rude not to.
F) I did not exhale.
G) Who hasn't?
H) At least I never voted Labour.
I) Eton summer break drags on so long, you know.
J) Then my dealer stopped taking my calls.
K) Only because I was thinking ahead to how I might spice up my bid for PM.
G) Who hasn't?
H) At least I never voted Labour.
I) Eton summer break drags on so long, you know.
J) Then my dealer stopped taking my calls.
K) Only because I was thinking ahead to how I might spice up my bid for PM.
L) Who really needs to visit the USA? That's why God invented international waters.
M) Purely for research purposes.
N) Then I discovered fox hunting.
O) I have never shopped at Aldi or Lidl.
P) Only on holiday. What goes on outside the UK stays outside the UK, right?
M) Purely for research purposes.
N) Then I discovered fox hunting.
O) I have never shopped at Aldi or Lidl.
P) Only on holiday. What goes on outside the UK stays outside the UK, right?
R) Then I discovered politics was way more addictive.
S) I'm well-off and white, so I knew I would get away with it.
T) It was the 60s/70s/80s/90s/00s/last week.
U) Only in a bid to support developing economies.
V) It offered unique insights into the plight of the underclasses.
S) I'm well-off and white, so I knew I would get away with it.
T) It was the 60s/70s/80s/90s/00s/last week.
U) Only in a bid to support developing economies.
V) It offered unique insights into the plight of the underclasses.
W) I found it invaluable in my Home Office/Justice Ministry/Education/Prisons role.
X) Daddy made the conviction go away.
Y) Drugs mean Drugs.
Z) Sorry, what was the question again?
X) Daddy made the conviction go away.
Y) Drugs mean Drugs.
Z) Sorry, what was the question again?
You can also download this whole thread of Tory drug-taking excuses as a PDF from the link below...
drive.google.com/file/d/1A5Nhmm…
drive.google.com/file/d/1A5Nhmm…
