Thread by @TipsForTarbiyah

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Make your Home into a Home of Love

(Wife of Mufti Taqi Uthmani DB)

For the mother in law:
So before a daughter in law even comes in your home, you should start thinking how you were also once a daughter in law. A girl leaves her entire family, so we should give her so much love to the extent that she feels that it’s her own house

For the daughter in law:

Although it is a big sacrifice, you need to acknowledge this is now your family. There should be no difference between your in laws and your family. You should show love to them.

Both should care for another.

You should be concerned about her ibadah and dhikr - and not be overly involved with trivial matters. If there is any naseehah to be given, then it should be said to the daughter in law with love.

Talk to each other directly. Don’t backbite one another, speak the same way we speak to our own family. Don’t complain to your husbands. Be open with one another.

When we do a lot of dhikr and ibadah, the good effect it has will also affect the children. When you’re feeding your children, be in a state of wudu. The effect of that will be in the child. Piety will be inculcated in the child. We need to learn how to bring our children up

A wife should respect her husband. If he is happy with her, she will get her Jannah. We need to value the blessings we have and become people of shukr. We shouldn’t fight over little things.

We should be busy with our own work. Make dua in the morning and pray two rakah salāt ul hājat whilst making dua that Allāh grants ease in our affairs. Make dua that Allāh makes us such that we love everyone and everyone loves us. Make dua for your kids.

We should worry about our akhirah. We’ll need to answer to how we treated each other. Everyone, mother in laws, daughter in laws need to consider this. You will be held accountable for the way you treated people. Allāh swt is always watching. We need to always please Allāh swt.

Daughter in laws will become mother in laws one day. Mother in laws were new daughter in laws once, or even daughter in laws now. People will treat you the way you treat others.

Apa was also asked for some advice and du’as for someone getting married. She replied, pray salat ul-hājat and make du’as that the happiness and love between all families remains forever and that also make du’ā that people value you.