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14 tweets,
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Across the country, millions of MAGA hat owners and outraged conservative commentators went to bed with visions of cement milkshakes dancing in their heads. All based on an evidence-free rumor, tweeted out by the Portland Police. Nicely done all.
Fictional concrete milkshakes bring all the conservative blue checks to the yard,
their feelings got hit real hard,
They’d confirm it, but that’s much too hard.
their feelings got hit real hard,
They’d confirm it, but that’s much too hard.
More cement milkshakes from the blue check “facts don’t care about your feelings crowd.”
Wait, there can’t be more, can there? These are very serious people who care deeply about reason and empirical truth.
These people were very concerned, I’m sure, about the distorted coverage of the Covington boys.
There's more going on here than just ideologically-motivated journalists rushing to repeat a dubious, unsubstantiated (and ultimately untrue) story merely because it confirms their priors.
The "cement milkshake" is the perfect symbol for the right. It epitomizes what their phantom vision of "the left" supposedly is. These "demons" took something sweet, innocent, and childlike...a milkshake...and turned it into a surreptitiously poisoned weapon of death.
One media provocateur being punched by a few angry young men is not enough to make the Portland story really "big league." What you need is a nefarious plot to harm hundreds of innocent people to make your audience really tremble with terror, to make them want to return for more.
Because let's be honest here...all of the conservative blue checks caught lying above are business people, and their model is to monetize fear and anger at a homogenized enemy, "the left." The more morbid and sublime the fear they whip up, the more clicks they get.
What conservative commentators want is a story about Portland and "the left" that feels true to them, and their feelings aren't all that concerned about the facts of what happened there. They are business people churning out a product (i.e. white fear), not journalists.
And they're also the ones obsessed with the idea that all journalists who are not in their conservative corral are liars who brainwash their audiences. Projection is a helluva thing.
The phantom "cement milkshake" has now become a sinister "truth" in the minds of many Americans. Few will stick around for the fact check. And the people who breathlessly passed on the lie could care less, because truth isn't really what they're concerned with.
Conservative calling for mass arrests of people whose politics he dislikes. Cool, cool. Did someone spike this guy's freedom juice this morning?
In case you missed it earlier, he's one of the conservative blue checks who offered a take so hot it could dissolve a fictional cement milkshake.
