,
7 tweets,
3 min read
Read on Twitter
@realDonaldTrump Didn’t you float above the debate stage dropping candies to the crowd while singing Queen’s We Are the Champions? (As long as we are making shit up, we might as well really go for it.)
@realDonaldTrump And didn’t every time you answered a question people come to full orgasm, yet were ready to go again by your next answer? It was the most erotic debate victory since Lincoln debated Douglas. Right?
@realDonaldTrump And wasn’t your answer on why you should be President ‘Because you complete me’ written by you and stolen by Tom Cruise for some Hollywood movie?
@realDonaldTrump And weren’t you, as my memory recalls, wearing a suit so splendid, finely crafted, and perfectly fitting that fashion critics lept from the top of buildings in sorrow that they ever doubted your sartorial elegance? That is what happened yes?
@realDonaldTrump And weren’t infertile women everywhere blessed with newborns the second you spoke? Some with twins and even triplets, depending how close they sat to the TV to watch you? Aren’t fertility clinics selling tapes of your debates this very instant?
@realDonaldTrump And didn’t Elvis come back alive to congratulate you on your debate performance? And wasn’t it skinny handsome Elvis? And didn’t he whisper in your ear ‘You are more than a hound dog.’ Didn’t you thank him with a copy of Mark Levin’s new book, which hadn’t even been written yet?
@realDonaldTrump Yes I remember your debate victories. So good, so honest, such a poised speaker. Amazing that you were able to do them all while also deboning a fish for your infamous Salt-Crusted Fish dish.
