Thread by @PhysicistLisa

While I was in the shower I outlined the Mean Girls sequel we deserve. The movie is set in 2024, on the eve of their 20 year high school reunion. No one is recast. The main protagonist is Regina George.

Focus in on Regina George’s life. She’s married to her college sweetheart, another woman from her college field hockey team. They’re a power lesbian couple: gorgeous, impeccably dressed, and very much in love. Regina, the CEO of a tremendously successful company she started.

She goes directly from a Very Important Meeting (where she Seals the Deal like a PRO) arm in arm with her bestie and CFO Kevin G into the limo where her wife, Kevin’s husband, Karen, & Karen’s husband Chad (another Business Person who Kevin G & Regina work with a lot) are waiting

At the reunion they run into Gretchen. They’ve kinda grown apart but they reminisces over old times and party.
Everyone’s a little drunk and Gretchen spills about how her company is probably gonna go under. Regina and Kevin after to meet & help by going over the books.

They walk into Gretchen’s crunchy company: a fashion label offering hottest “in right now” items, but gives discounts and credit for returning out of style items( that are repurposed /recycled into the next big trend)
They discover that it’s actually a financially sound model

They, offer on the spot to invest to keep the company afloat. They start right away with advising while the financial contracts get written.
Chad has dinner with Regina and laughs. He tells her all about how Gretchen has played her.
The next act is a return to mean girl tactics.

Regina, not wanting Gretchen to win, tries to play her even harder. Hilarity ensues but it’s also nasty. It ends in fight in Gretchen’s warehouse. Regina tells Gretchen she’s canceling the deal, Gretchen tells her she doesn’t need it: she sold to Chad.
Karen BARGES IN

“Karen! You’re soaking wet!”
Karen: ::squeezes her boobs:: “IT’S RAINING! But more importantly! Chad ruined your deal by turning you against each other, & he’s going to run Gretchen’s company into the ground to protect his other fashion clients. I overheard his whole plan!”

They call Kevin G. Now we have a great montage of planning as they figure out how to get Gretchen’s company back, starting with Karen convincing Chad to put her on the board (he thinks she’s too dumb and he can use her). They use their best mean girls skills for good.

They take the company back. Once they have Chad cornered and he knows the whole thing has crumbled, Karen laughs and hands him divorce papers.

They do an interview with Teen Vogue to release the information of Chad’s dirty tactics to the public.

Regina and Kevin decide to start a new branch of their Business Company: a wing devoted to investing in businesses run by women of color, to be headed by Gretchen Weiners.
Gretchen promotes her quirky second in command, Alex (the next character we’ve come to love) to replace her.

The movie ends at Alex’s promotion party. Alex and Karen lock eyes from across the room. Alex winks at Karen who starts to coyly giggle as they approach her. Roll credits.

Mean Girls 3 is obviously Karen’s Big Gay Wedding.

Probably somewhere in act 3, Regina says the words “we’re gonna need reinforcements”

Cut to Janice and Damien strutting into the office. They come in to help the plan by posing as consultants.

HOLLYWOOD: PAY ME