Thread by @literaturepeep

This is one of the most profound & moving things that has ever happened to me as a lecturer - and will hopefully show why it’s so important for organisations like Stonewall to continue working with universities to create a safe space for all LGBTQ+ ppl.

(A happy story thread)

To set this up I have to take you back a year.

I was teaching a module on Victorian literature & culture, and a male student from a very conservative, religious background asked if he could do his essay on Victorian sexuality - we’ll just call him ‘A’.

Not a problem, says I. I recommended a number of books, including ‘Fanny and Stella’ by Neil McKenna - a biography of two trans women in the 19th century that also looks at gay subculture. I was slightly surprised, but A decided this was the topic for him and away he went.

Knowing almost nothing about the subject, he would come and see me a lot and we would talk at length about the history of drag, trans, gender, sexuality, etc. - what he could put in his essay and other resources he could use.

He did really well on the module & loved the book so much I said he could keep it. This is my job and a part of it I love - but as far as I was concerned we were just chatting about his work, LGBTQ history & Fanny & Stella.

Fast forward a year, and A turns up out of the blue at my office.

He told me that ‘Fanny and Stella’ had saved his life. A told me that he had been struggling for years with his sexuality. He also had a wish to cross dress, but felt unable to talk about this to anyone.

His cultural background meant that he felt a huge amount of shame & confusion around these feelings. He had been suicidal. I had no idea. He never said a word about this.

He told me that for the first time ever, reading about these Victorian transwomen, he felt that ‘someone got me.’ He said it made him feel like ‘he was part of history.’ Because it was a history book - he felt it was ok for him to read it.

Because it was for an essay, it gave him permission to talk about this with someone - me, and, as it turns out, other students.

Grinning from ear to ear, he told me he has now developed a female alter ego who he takes out from time to time. We’ll call her Sara here. She’s ‘sassy as hell’, goes clubbing, has bubble baths, does stand up, kisses men in bars, and has opened up a whole new world for him.

After reading F&S he started opening up to other students, who helped him navigate this. They took Sara out, they helped her put makeup on, find a wig and created a safe fun space for Sara to start to emerge.

He has started to make peace with a part of himself that he hated and never understood before. He looked relaxed, happier & more excited than I have ever seen him look before. It was like a whole world has opened up for him.

All this, from one book that I gave to him at university. Here’s the thing - He never said he was struggling at any point in our conversations. He never said he needed help. He didn’t once say we were really talking about him. But, he was struggling and he did need help.

I was so touched by his story that I emailed the author of Fanny and Stella, Neil McKenna, to tell him just how important his book has been.

Neil was deeply moved and sent back a really lovely email. We both admitted we had been reduced to tears by the story. I’m getting a bit weepy just typing it here!

And here’s the best bit - I got to work on Monday to find Neil had posted a signed, first edition of ‘Fanny and Stella’ to send on to A, which I did yesterday.

He also sent me a signed copy! Which I am fan girling all over!!

I’m so, so pleased that A has been able to express the Sara in him & accept himself. There are many lessons here, but as a lecturer the lesson for me is that you have no idea what your students are going through or how your actions can impact others.

Be kind - always.