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"To forgive isn't to vindicate your oppressors. To forgive is to stop being defined by what they did to you." -- Nelson Mandela
That said, you should never forgive - ever - while the boot remains on your neck.
You get up first, stand tall, and look your persecutor in the eyes, and let them know that you can make this hurt. And then - and only then - do you extend your hand out to say: This is what I choose, this is who I am, and this is the future I want.
