Thread by @swardley

On a Sunday, my area becomes full of mamils (middle aged men in lycra - usually, a crime against nature) and pims (plonkers in mercedes - think they're Ayrton Senna, more Mr Magoo i.e. can't drive straight, can't cope with country roads, often end up in ditches).

Today, was the typical 4x4 Merc in a ditch, one 4x4 bashed into another, bunch of blokes arguing in Arsenal shirts doing their best "I'm hard" impression (i.e. increasingly squeaky high pitch North London voices) and a parade of mamils trying to cycle around them ... priceless.

As usual, I'm sitting on the bank of a river with a couple of friends, slow fishing ... and trying not to die laughing. Slow fishing is the type of fishing where we forget to bring a rod most of the time i.e. last time we caught anything was so long ago, we've forgotten.

Of course, not as priceless as Sajid Javid down here, demanding the Royal Navy was brought out because of a few people in dinghies ... it's an invasion I tell you ... lol. Plonker. I hope he doesn't panic so much as the chancellor or there will be problems.

X : Why slow fishing?
Me : What have fish ever done to hurt anyone? We let them be and enjoy the sitting on a bank, having a cuppa and a good natter part of fishing.