"No, you see, I want to be their bff, I'm a cool mom, not a regular mom! So if they misbehave I just try to love them more, take more family Instagrams and hope it works out."
This is a complete failure of parenting.
As a parent, you have failed, because you are weak. And now your child has gone completely wild and out of control.
Make your child feel their only purpose in life is making you proud. Your love, your affirmation, should be like oxygen for your child. They must feel they need it more than anything in life.
Fail to do this, and your kid is a complete monster and nuisance