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My 2nd year of college, I arrived to start the year convinced I’d made a huge mistake. My best friends from first year were all living in a distant housing complex, while I had applied for a residential college where I knew nobody & would be rooming with a stranger 1
My parents drove me to college & helped me lug my possessions up multiple steep flights of steps. While we did so, my dread was increasing. I was filled with fear that I was going to spend a year miserable, living alongside 31 indifferent fellow students 2
And then! 4? 6? 8? I don’t remember the exact #, but a group of guys appeared, taking stuff out of my parents’ hands & carrying everything up to my room. As they left to go help another arrival, they yelled over their shoulders that they’d be back to get me around dinnertime 3
My nervousness vanished, & over dinner I got to know these self-appointed greeters & some other students new to Long, the place that would turn out to be my home for 3 wonderful years. In the center of it all, that day & all year, was an energetic bundle of kindness named Doug 4
Doug was older than me; had a close-knit group of friends & a girlfriend from whom he was rarely separated; & had no reason to be kind, let alone friendly, to a younger introvert. But all year he’d holler up the stairs toward my room, “Allie, come watch a movie with us!”, etc 5
Doug graduated &, as happens, we never saw each other again, but he always remained in my head as an example of the kind of person I wanted to be. 6
Doug was one of those individuals killed on 9/11, dying after terrorists flew hijacked planes into the Twin Towers. Once I heard about his death, I tried to learn more, hoping desperately that he had died immediately & not endured the unimaginable before his untimely death. 7
I don’t remember what I found out, not just once but several times... because upon realizing I didn’t recall the details of his death I’d set out to learn about it all over again. I finally realized that my mind was not interested in retaining those details. 8
My mind remembers Doug yelling up the stairs to me. Clowning around with his roommates. Loving movies. Savoring incredibly greasy food. Reassuring a scared 2nd year that she wasn’t doomed to a miserable year of no friends. 9
So tomorrow, when you pause to think of the thousands of victims of the 9/11 attacks & all of those they left behind, please take a moment to think of Doug. He was good. He was an example to us all. And I miss him. (End)
