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1/ Here's a ghastly thought: What if @ScottMorrisonMP visited that Macca's drive-thru because he's under the misapprehension Aussies find it ENDEARING he shit himself at #Engadine? Like, he thinks it fits in with his 'man of the people' persona. Hear me out.
2/ Firstly, his insufferable attitude to lower wage earners & callous treatment of welfare recipients suggests he perceives the underclass (a.k.a. the other 99 percent) as grubby baboons who fling faeces at each other when we aren't wearing baseball caps and chugging schooners.
3/ We drive Holdens, we don't drink beer from the glass, we eat with our elbows on the table, we think semi-casual means thongs and a Bintang singlet, and we say things like 'I'm gunna murder a brown snake' to herald every voiding of the bowels.
4/ And shitting one's pants, while not exactly ADMIRABLE conduct, is at least RELATABLE. Strewth, take a dekko at daggy old ScoMo, what a larrikin. Choking off a growler in public. Always pushing the boundaries of hygiene. What a fair dinkum true blue Aussie bloke.
5/ As further proof, I offer the Canberra Midwinter Ball, where ScoMo openly mentioned the Engadine incident. In the past, he has always stubbornly refused to open his mouth even to acknowledge that particular McDonald's exists. So this untoward show of brazenness is ominous.
6/ Because as frustrating as it was when he wouldn't answer questions, it's far preferable to a ScoMo who embraces Engadine as part of his myth. Who seeks to trademark the skidmark. To raise the humble pile of dung to iconic heights, much in the vein of Bob Hawke's yard glass.
7/ For all we know, by the end of the year our Prime Minister may be making 'celebrity appearances' at McDonald's outlets far and wide, where he'll proceed to drop his guts in his Y-fronts to the thunder of sycophantic applause. I'm not even joking.
8/ But I will ask my fellow Australians to spare a thought for Jenny, who will have to bear the brunt of the consequences, by which I mean it's her job to clean up the gorilla fingers in her husband's dacks. White Jesus doesn't believe men should do the washing.
9/ As the shadow of #EngadineScott looms ever larger overhead, I have but a single hope to offer:
Even in a democracy, we still hold the right of revolution.
Remember, Australia. ✊
#auspol
💩👖❌
🚽✔️
Even in a democracy, we still hold the right of revolution.
Remember, Australia. ✊
#auspol
💩👖❌
🚽✔️
@ScottMorrisonMP @threadreaderapp unroll
