Thread by @celestine__

What a day!

There follows the story of how it took me from 7.30am until 3pm to do a task that should have taken an hour, maybe a little more...

The context is that for *reasons* I have to temporarily relocate for two weeks in December.

No kids this weekend and good weather for a couple of days so it seemed like a good time to have a trial run. Make sure mooring is okay, test batteries & electric away from shoreline etc.

Want to discover any problems now rather than when I'm doing it for real, and with the boys

So, uncoupled from double-moored neighbour single-handedly (no mean feat!) with no problems, and ready to set off at 8am, two hours before the ferries and things start.

So far so good.

By about 11.30 I finally managed to herd both cats on to the boat at the same time.

They can now *both* unlock the catflap, and one has found a place he can hide under a ramp on the pontoon making himself entirely uncatchable.

Just after Prince Street Bridge, in the busiest part of Bristol Harbour I start to wonder if I'm actually slowing down, or if I'm imagining it.

When... Engine cuts out completely.

I'm now drifting.

Frantically turning the key in an optimistic attempt to restart the engine, while trying to figure out at what point I need to abandon that and go feet-as-fenders as I drift ever closer to another boat.

Manage to stop alongside with no impact and happily, nobody home.

Try the engine for a bit longer.

No luck.

And then I remember I was low on diesel and planning to stop at the marina on my way past.

Oh no, could it be?

Check, no diesel.

So I run through everyone I could phone for help.

A few people would, but it's not fair with no notice on a Sunday, and I figure this time I've just got to sort this out myself.

Aha! I'm in one of those car club schemes.

Just get a car for an hour, take a jerry can to the marina and it's solved.

But it turns out my driving license has expired and I need to validate my new one.

Go through validation process.

Wait half an hour while status is 'pending'.

Approved!

Now I can use the app to discover... No cars nearby! Closest one is, in fact, visible from my home mooring!

So now I'm resigned to walking to the marina and back, but - of course - I'm on the wrong side of the water and the bridge is quite a way behind me.

It's gonna be a long walk!

So, I go over my new host-boat, and realise they have a very low deck and are tied to a very high wall with a very wide gap.

I contemplate climbing it and get *the fear*.

Now I'm just frozen, hands on the harbour wall, feet on their boat.

How the hell do they get on and off?

Oh... I spy ladders, and, finally something is going right. They're not locked!

But I can't leave them in place allowing access to their boat and mine while I'm away.

So I get my bike lock and we're in business!

Ladders in place, jerry can on the wall, bike lock on the wall.

Up the ladders, ladders up behind me, lock them to the railings, and it gets better... The cross harbour ferry!

I know I can't bring fuel back, but they're bound to let me across with an empty can.

And they do!

Better still, they didn't even comment or check it was empty.

Perhaps I could get back this way too?

No. But things are still going well...

Not allowed diesel in the passenger areas, but... Another of the ferries offers to put the can on the back with the driver and take me across.

I could have kissed him!

Even better, he pulls up alongside and drops me off right on my boat!

Funnelled diesel in to the tank, and now two things happen, both of which you may have predicted.

In earlier attempts to start the engine *of course* I've managed to rinse the battery.

I have a spare, but that means tool box out, more clutter to be moved to yet another board up.

Space to move is getting smaller, and now I have one cat in the engine room, and one padding around the boat nextdoor.

If either of them bolts for land that's a whole other mess!

So batteries swapped, engine on, were back in business, but the other thing... Because I was delivered back by water, the ladders are still chained up on land.

And I can't get out to get them back because, well, the ladders are still chained up on land!

And so I start looking for a passer-by who looks like the right combination of friendly enough to not mind being disturbed, willing to help, able to help, and not suspicious enough to think I'm trying to steal some ladders... Or a boat.

Hooray! I throw him the keys, he passes back keys, lock and ladder.

And by only half past three I moored up at my new, temporary, home.

I'll tell you what.

I've enjoyed this...

@threadreaderapp Would you be so kind as to unroll this thread for me please?