I had a conversation today w a man who manages a security team. For me, tbqh this convo was pretty upsetting, but I do think he was coming from a sincere place so hopefully this helps someone else who is also coming from a good place, but is just getting it wrong. THREAD.
The man was chatting about hiring. He said his team is only men, but he gets other women he knows in the industry to come to recruiting events w him because women are much more interested when they see another women there & don’t tend to come up to his booth when it’s just him.
I said, yes, of course. When we see another woman or someone like us on the team, it at least means we won’t be alone. I told him I thought it was false advertising to use other women in this way in order to recruit.
I also mentioned that anytime someone is the first, there is a pioneer tax (thanks @mekkaokereke for the term) that person must pay in order to pave the way. It’s exhausting & each person should decide for themselves whether or not they want to take that tax on.
He said he agreed, but he really wanted to hire a woman and his team is all men. He then continued that he knows his teams culture his pretty bad after being all men for 5 years, but he really wants to change it by hiring for my diversity.
Inside, I completely lost it 🤬But I stayed measured in the hopes that my response to him might help influence change. I said “If you know your team culture is bad, then you should fix it now. You shouldn’t hire someone from an underrepresented group into a toxic culture. “
For the people in the back: DO NOT HIRE A WOMAN OR ANYONE FROM OTHER UNDERREPRESENTED GROUPS INTO TEAMS YOU KNOW WONT WELCOME THEM.
And especially do NOT hire them into the toxic culture and expect them to fix it.
Seriously, please please please don’t do this.
And especially do NOT hire them into the toxic culture and expect them to fix it.
Seriously, please please please don’t do this.
This is harm and cruel. If this is where your team is at and youre interviewing someone, tell them about the culture full stop. Be transparent. Do not trick them into joining your team.
Instead, pause & start fixing your team culture now. If you take on the manager role, than you’re 100% responsible for your team & its culture. You are the manager. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it can be scary. No, you might not get it exactly right every time. But start. It’s your job.
