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Wow, sounds great, I'll be sure to get right over to the post office and take advantage of this amazing free deal to submit my fingerprints
I'm gonna be the first guy on my block to get my own identity history summary check (IdHSC)! Not sure what that is, but I bet it's some kind of official top secret G-Man decoder ring or something
If my experience with Home Depot is any judge, I bet this deal also comes with valuable weekly FBI coupons
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
My favorite thing about election night twitter is learning how people voting spells the death of democracy
I would like to point out once again that I never vote, so please take me off your list of democracy murder suspects
my favorite thing about morning-after-election-night twitter is the recriminations and walks of shame
Read 4 tweets
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Well, it wasn't a total loss for Labour
brb, printing a "Will Tell You I'm a Socialist For a Blowjob" t-shirt
I feel like this is a teaching opportunity, using my wife's favorite joke:

Q: What's the worst thing Willie Nelson can tell you after you give him a blowjob?

A: "I'm not Willie Nelson."
Read 4 tweets
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
What are the latest returns from Cadbury Egh, Yoiks Endaweigh, and Frampton Comesalive
The key precincts to keep your eye on are Champippleton, Stew Sutcliffe, West Kanyeigh, Ffllayyrghfflnngah, and Fluffernuttering
This is also the name of my record label
Read 3 tweets

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Samuel Robberts
@smjpepys
1/ 4 Months ago my fiance and I went into @JohnLewis to start our gift list. From the beginning we've had shoddy, outdated service that has ruined what should be great customer service. Sit back kids, and learn how the @JohnLewis gift list deserves to be consigned to the bin.
2/ It all started in store. We went into the shop and up to the gift list service desk. We were looking forward to going around the store and picking out all the wonderful things we’d want post-wedding. We were handed something that looked like an early blackberry.
3/ What’s this? We asked ourselves. The kind woman at the desk attempted to turn it on. It didn’t work. She fetched another one. No battery. At the third attempt she found one that would turn on. She showed us how to scan an item.
Read 47 tweets
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horny sheith hours 🖤 ❤️
@zombietime_
#sheith frat boy Shiro/nerd Keith, eventual #nsfw
__

Shiro is four beers in on a Saturday afternoon. The sun is setting and he's outside playing ultimate frisbee with some of the other guys from the frat. He spots Hunk walking towards the house, back from the nerd convention
he's spent the day at. He's loaded down with bags and Shiro is about to call out to him, maybe give him some shit, when he sees Keith.

Hunk had invited Keith to a party a few months back and the night had ended with Shiro on his knees in the laundry room.
Keith had come in his mouth and Shiro barely had time to enjoy the blissed out expression on his face when Lotor had barged in yelling, "Fucking in bedrooms ONLY, Shirogane."

Keith had taken off so quickly, Shiro hadn't even gotten the chance to ask for his number.
Read 96 tweets
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Dan Hedl
@danheld
1/ My latest article "Bitcoin's Security is Fine" where I address concerns with Bitcoin’s security model which is funded by the block subsidy + transaction fees. Part of a new content series produced by @InterchangeHQ called “The On-Ramp”

Thread 👇

blog.picks.co/bitcoins-secur…
2/ Approx. every 10 minutes, a new Bitcoin block is created, which contains newly minted Bitcoins (the “block subsidy”) plus transactions fees. The value of the newly minted coins plus transaction fees is called the “block reward.”
3/ Per Bitcoin’s hard-coded monetary policy, the amount of newly minted coins per block decreases over time, eventually reaching 0% in the year 2140. At the time of this tweet being published, over 83% of all Bitcoins that will ever exist have already been minted.
Read 91 tweets
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Richard James
@RichJamesBits
I have reached a whole new level of #PISSEDOFF.

I didnt think such a #dark and #scary state, or level, could be reached. It may top 12-14-17's causation. It's. That. Bad. So, I've prepared a statement...

docs.google.com/document/d/1_J…

#PascoSheriff #HaveYouAllNoShame @CigarCityBeer
Dear @FBI,
I must implore you ask your colleauges in @FBITampa to help research this new level of #PISSEDOFFNESS. As locals, they may offer a special indepth knowledge of this new level I have reached. This is not fair & law enforcement must #investigate. No one deserves this.
This is my #apogee of #Pissedoffness.
If #motherfuckers & #tears werent a noticable level.
If #HUSH or #INTIMIDATION tactics being deployed didnt strike a chord.
If #EVIDENCE, PROOF, or 30k Bonds didnt #WOW YOU.
If posting mom with no shred of investigatable value wasnt enough...
Read 463 tweets
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Nick Wallis
@nickwallis
Morning. We are in court 26 of the High Court’s Rolls Building for Day 7 of the Horizon trial - part of the Bates v Post Office group litigation. Third day of Post Office witness cross-examination. Follow this thread for live tweets.
#postofficetrial
*cracks knuckles*

Judge (Mr Justice Fraser) is sitting we are into housekeeping before the witnesses are called.
Please remember these tweets paraphrase and are summaries of what is happening in court. Nothing is a direct quote unless it is in “direct quotes”…

discussing the possibility of a day’s sitting next week to do some mopping up...
Read 104 tweets
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Nick Wallis
@nickwallis
Day 13 of the Bates v Post Office trial at court 26 of the High Court Rolls Building has just begun. This walk to work this morning through Inner Temple was rather lovely, but now: let’s get down to business [cracks knuckles]
Mr Patrick Green QC for the claimants is on his feet.

PG "The reality is no one expected the Post Office to terminate on 3 months notice without cause.” #postofficetrial

Nothing in this thread is a direct quote unless it is in direct quotes.
PG talking about that in terms of NTC switchover and evidence from Brian Trotter about the reality of that contractual situation as played out. Some SPMRs were not allowed to give 3 months notice - they had to stay on until a replacement could be found.
Read 103 tweets

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