Thread by @RachelintheOC

The holidays are meant to be a time of joy and merriment, according to Hallmark. For survivors of sexual abuse, the picture may be different.

The holidays can involve a lot of socializing, visiting family, seeing those from the past which can be triggering.

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It's essential we have our grounding strategies down to a fine art to navigate the festive period with as little added discomfort as is possible.

What's grounding? Grounding is simply the process of anchoring ourselves back in our bodies in the present moment.

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There are many ways of achieving this, but engaging the senses is the easiest of all.

The first task is to list the dates, times and people that may feel challenging for us. This could include dinner at our childhood home

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or a party where someone we try to avoid may be a guest.

Before deciding how to approach such situations, exercise boundaries, and self-care by asking ourselves if we even need to go, or if we can say "no" and find a way out of some of the engagements. #SexAbuseChat

If we do decide to go/attend, then having as much warning as possible in relation to what to expect will help.

Who is going to be there?

What time might we be going home?

Will there be food we feel comfortable with?.....

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Once there, that is when our grounding techniques will need to go into high gear to avoid anxiety escalating. Here are specific tips you can use:

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1. Breathing - focus on breathing UNLESS this aggravates your breathing; if so, then just let nature take its course for now.

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2. Self-talk - what's going on in your mind, can you calm yourself with soothing phrases? "You are safe." "Stay present." "It's OK, just breathe."

3. Feel your feet on the floor - this is the easiest grounding mantra to remember - the clue is in the name!

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4. Use your senses - count 4 green things in the room. Now count 4 red things. Now purple. Then notice the smells, tell yourself what you can smell....what can you hear? Suck a mint, or an ice cube (cold is a great grounder). What does it feel like on your tongue? #SexAbuseChat

5. Commentary can help, in your head, tell a commentary of what is happening "That lady in the black dress just poured some soda, now she's wiping the glass with a napkin...the napkin has holly leaves printed on it....the dog just barked and the doorbell rang....." #SexAbuseChat

These little redirections can provide distraction and also bring your brain back into the here and now.

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more specifically, breathe in 4, breathe out 4 like your mouth is around a straw. I do this with myself and with my kids and dad when anxiety or stress hits.

We breathe shallowly when panicky. Deep breathing works wonders #SexAbuseChat

It's also important to note these are good plans to have in our back pocket, so to speak, rather than turning to drugs or alcohol, which can make us more vulnerable to uncomfortable situations where we already feel vulnerable and uncomfortable

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Parties and gatherings aside, just the very idea of the holidays can feel triggering for some, especially if it was not an enjoyable time in years gone by.

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Finding ways to ground and self-soothe at home is super important. Everywhere we turn - stores, TV, radio - Christmas and the holidays are visible, so feeling safe is paramount.

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As well as the normal 'self-care' fare, there are other ways of feel centered in our own skin, and staying present.

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Make a small batch of playdough for yourself. It sounds ridiculous, but it is very soothing to knead, and if freshly made, it is warm for a while which can feel comforting too.

@jcstaff_ has the recipe for you, too! #SexAbuseChat

@jcstaff_ Here are some more tips to think about:

1) Think Ahead - is what's bothering you about attending an event this year going to be a big deal next year or 5-10 years from now? How will that inform your decision whether to go?

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2) Downsize - if the stresses of the season are because it's so expensive and busy, make it less so. Spend less, go to less parties, put less stress on yourself overall.

Only YOU can decide how to spend time grounding yourself and if that means downsizing, do it #SexAbuseChat

3) Celebrate on a different day. If Christmas Day (or whichever day(s) you celebrate) are too painful a trigger for you, create your own day/holiday with yourself or friends and loved ones.

Make your own rules. You're an adult. So, adult.

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4) Have your own party and invite only who you want to. Stop going all over the place and create your own happy party space. Then you know it will be just as you want it and none of The Uglies will be present. :)

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5) Create something that lasts. If you've lost beloved family members this year, perhaps a gathering can be a good time to remember them in some meaningful way - a time capsule, a journal of stories they shared, a scrapbook or photo album, etc.

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6) Pack it up and go away somewhere.

I know lots of people who just CAN'T and off they go. That's their one big vacation during the year - a B&B, ski trip, Hawaii, or even a hotel down the street. Sometimes being surrounded by strangers is easier

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What suggestions do you use to help ground yourself during the holidays we might not have mentioned tonight?

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Here are a number of articles for later reading:

Coping with the Holidays Survival Guide | via @PsychCentral buff.ly/2Kom6sV

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