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'Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the House,
Not a creature was stirring, except for this louse.
The IG's report had laid out with great care,
That in Trump's campaign, no informants were there:
So Kevin McCarthy lied about it.
#KremlinKevin
On Lou Dobbs! On Hannity!
On media blitzin'
Deliver Putin presents--
Propaganda for Christmas!
#KremlinKevin
Before I sign off, and wish you a great season,
Do, in the new year, resist GOP treason!
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More from @deangloster see all

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Dean Gloster
@deangloster
Some facts: Gaetz's dad was prominent Republican Don Gaetz, president of the Florida Senate--which is how "Mugshot" Matt avoided losing driving privileges after a DUI despite refusing a breathalizer and binding law. He was given a +22R district to run in, as arranged by daddy.1/x
Matt Gaetz was recently rebuked by the Florida bar for his witness intimidation antics, when he tried to discourage Michael Cohen from testifying to Congress, saying Gaetz was "unprofessional, reckless, insensitive and demonstrated poor judgment." 2/x floridapolitics.com/archives/30356…
Matt Gaetz was literally the only no vote on an anti-human trafficking bill that passed the Senate unanimously and passed the House 418-1. 3/x
orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives…
Read 9 tweets
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Dean Gloster
@deangloster
There once was a sleeper-cell Gabbard,
Who said, "Keep your swords in their scabbards!"
She took Russian dough,
And their talking points, so
The Dems on the ballot get hammered.

Thread. 1/x

nytimes.com/2019/10/12/us/…
Tulsi Gabbard is an apologist for the murderous regime of Putin-supported Assad in Syria:
washingtonpost.com/opinions/globa…
Tulsi Gabbard’s “election” campaign was initially underwritten by Putin-apologist supporters of Russia (for instance, an employee of Russia Today) 3/x thedailybeast.com/tulsi-gabbards…
Read 12 tweets
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Dean Gloster
@deangloster
I don't know who needs to hear this, but back in the day, when I was a lawyer, over 30 years, I represented 2 high-functioning narcissistic sociopaths.
So I know how the endgame is going to be played out:
Bail out now, enablers. Quit. Cut your best deal. 1/x
I was the guy the awful people came to after they'd screwed up so badly in front of federal judges with their first lawyers and wanted saving. It's seductive, thinking that you're making a difference, making it marginally less awful, managing to a result that's slightly okay. 2/x
Here's the thing: Narcissistic sociopaths can't change course. Not even when it's in their self-interest. They--literally--don't see that people other than them have legitimate self-interests that need to be satisfied in any agreed solution. It's like they're colorblind. 3/x
Read 13 tweets

Related threads

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Trinity Resists
@TrinityResists
‘Twas the week before Christmas
and all through the House.
They gathered in Congress,
and finally impeached the louse.
All roads with Trump lead to Putin,
‘cause he got him “elected”
The dotard thought if he cheated AGAIN,
it would go undetected.
His lies and his legitimacy
will never be believed.
The people have spoken: You’re #IMPEACHED Donald,
Please leave “President” Number Three.
Read 21 tweets
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The THREAD
@TheThreadTweets
Black Magic - a Christmas Ghost Story

There was nothing scary about our house
Unless you find brown and orange geometric wallpaper scary, which nobody did then, for some reason
It was a perfectly normal semi on a perfectly normal street
Too young for memories
Too new for ghosts
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring . .
Apart from me.
No sugar plums in my head, instead visions of Action Men, Scalextric cars and Buck-a-Roos danced before my wide, restless eyes.
And so I was the only one to hear it . . .
When the phone rang in the middle of the night it meant one of two things - a wrong number or a dead relative
I froze when I heard the persistent plastic trill and waited for someone to answer
But no one did
Should I wake my parents or go downstairs and answer it?
You decide . .
Read 14 tweets
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Comfy Cozy ELS258 Deluxe Edition
@ELS2359
‘‘Twas the night before fisa when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a louse.
The impeachment articles were hung by the chamber with care....

@drawandstrike
@drawandstrike by the chamber with care in hopes that Jerry Nadler soon would be there.

The democrats were nestled all smug in their beds, while visions of Chuck Todd interviews danced in their heads.
And Nancy with her polydent and AOC in her lap had just settled down for a Long winter’s nap.
@drawandstrike When out on the roof there arose such a clatter, Adam sprang from the Standard to see what’s the matter. Away to the window he flew in a flash, to hide the dead body that was hidden in the bath.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow gave luster of midday to objects below.
Read 11 tweets
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Jonathan Schanzer
@JSchanzer
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the region,
Not a creature was stirring, except Iran’s foreign legion....
The rockets were placed throughout Syria with care,
In hopes that Qassem Suleimani soon would be there;

The weapons were nestled all snug in their places,
While visions of war with Israel put smiles on their faces;
As Assad’s bombs explode with a terrible clap,
The United Nations takes a long winter's nap.

Across the region Iran spreads more confusion,
But it is usually not news unless it’s Russian collusion.
Read 11 tweets
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Ben Shapiro
@benshapiro
In honor of Memo Night, this unfinished masterpiece:
'Twas the night before memo, when all through the House
Not a creature was stirring, not even a louse;
The stories were prepped for the press with great care,
In hopes that the cameras soon would be there;
Congressmen nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of prostitutes danced in their heads;
And Trump on his Twitter, and I on my app,
Had just settled our brains for tomorrow’s big scrap,
Read 8 tweets
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Travis Johnson
@travispjohnson
#DieHard Before #Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Except the 4 assholes coming in the rear in standard 2x2 cover formation.
The C4 was placed in the roof with care,
In the hopes that the Feds soon would be there,
The terrorists held positions awaiting the Feds,
While visions of bearer bonds danced in their heads.
And Holly in her rolex, Ellis powdered his nose,
While I was barefoot and made fists with my toes.
When out from the lobby there arose such a clatter,
I drew my gun to see what was the matter.
Away to the stairwell I flew with a flash,
Forgetting shoes, up the stairs did I dash.
I pulled the alarm on this occasion
And vowed to kiss the department Dalmatian
When what to my dismay should appear
Read 10 tweets

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