Thread by @ashtonpittman

We decided to watch the Stars Wars Christmas Special.

Just got past the first 20 mins of wookies wailing & moaning at each other. Now one is watching a cooking show with an Oompa Loompa Paula Dean. Wtf.

Was this something people watched in the '70s while high on LSD/shrooms?

Okay now they got grandpa wookiee high af with a "brain evaporator" and there's a kaleidoscope... and now... it's getting really pornographic all of a sudden and grandpa wookie is having fantasies and oh my god

w...t...f.

And now for some reason it just morphed into a terribly animated cartoon where Luke, Leia and C-3PO look like they snorted meth. Did they run out of money to pay the actors halfway through or what?

And there be a dragon here.

Can we go back to Oompa Loompa Paula Dean now?

Okay you know what maybe not

By the way, why did they beat @HamillHimself's face til he looked like he was a lovely lady who was about to be on a 9-way split screen with his three very lovely girls (the youngest one in curls) and his husband, a man named Brady, who was busy with three boys of his own?

And now Bea Arthur is here pouring a drink for an an alcoholic who drinks through a hole in the top of his head and definitely over shares. Oh my God she's just pouring the pitcher directly into the top of his head.

Okay and Chewie has to be like the worst dead-beat dad ever. He visited his wife and kid like once during a period of 40 years, and never mentioned them again.

I hope he's paying child support and alimony.

Okay and now there are people in red robes walking on the stars and "the Christmas people are streaming into purgatory," as @wspittman describes it.

And now Leia is talking about love and love and also about "the tree of life we all share" or something.

That musta been the tree everyone was smoking from when they filmed this.

Okay, it's over.

I have no idea what the hell I just watched.

It was definitely special.

But seriously, what the hell did I watch

I need some of whatever Bea Arthur was pouring into the top of ole dude's head

But seriously... what the hell did I just watch?

If I'd been a Star Wars fan in 1978 excitedly waiting for a sequel this Christmas special would've had me freaking out like

I still can't get past grandpa wookie moaning to a fantasy disco brain porn. How many children did this traumatize? 😳

This would clearly benefit from some Rocky Horror Picture Show-style cult screenings.