Thread by @baddestmamajama

So, having been sprung from the hospital at last, and being a veteran of many medium-to-long stays, I thought I’d do a thread about
HOW TO VISIT SOMEONE IN THE HOSPITAL.

This can be an anxiety inducing process. No one likes hospitals, even if they’re just visiting. And it’s hard to know what will actually help a sick/injured person, and what is just busywork.
(And obv, YMMV based on the person.)
But hopefully this will help you help them.

1. Hospitals are two things:
Boring and distracting.
You have endless stretches of nothing to do, but also every 20 minutes someone is coming in to take blood pressure, bring lunch, give meds, etc.

Therefore long, deeply attention-requiring activities are tough.

Bringing the complete works of Dostoyevsky or the director’s six hour cut of Lawrence of Arabia is not your best bet. Look for short, interesting, and bite-sized content to bring. Crosswords. Good magazines. Recommend some 30 min shows (I redid Fleabag. Again.)

2. Hospitals are short on comforts. Stuffed animals are lovely and squeezable, but dry shampoo is a godsend.
Facial wipes.
Deodorant.
A hairbrush.
FLOSS.
These are a few of a patient’s favorite things.

3. Talking to a sick person is a minefield. You are at an advantage, because you get to leave anytime you want. Try to let them direct the conversation. This may not be the time to discuss deeply upsetting world events.

Obviously, you’re going to talk about their health and situation. Listen as much as possible. Ask what you can do to help. Don’t tell them what they should do, ask what they want done.

If they are having a problem with the hospital - nurse issues, doctors being gruff, dietary issues - offer to be a go-between. You aren’t great at interpersonal relationships when you’re sick AND you’re scared of pissing your caretakers off. A friend who can step in is a miracle.

4. If they don’t have hospital-imposed dietary restrictions - BRING THEM FOOD. The GOOD food. The milkshake they love. The fancy potato chips. Their favorite cookies. Non-perishable is best. Hospital food is hideous at worst and mediocre at best.

5. If they’re leaving soon, swap into task mode. Ask them for a grocery list and have their fridge stocked. Do some laundry. Throw some reheat-only entrees in the fridge.
Sit with them in the ENDLESS time between discharge and actually leaving.

5. try not to bombard them for updates by phone. Checking in to say “I’m thinking of you” is fine. Demanding updates is not.
I had 14 people texting me at once yesterday and nearly drowned my phone.
Send dog videos. They will tell you how things are looking when THEY know.

6. Call before you visit. Always. They may be thrilled to see you, but they may also be exhausted and worn out and not want company and now have the added emotional stress of needing to pretend they’re happy to see you. Don’t put that on them. Call. First.

Those are the biggies I can think of at the moment but feel free to ask any questions.