Thread by @_Astro_Nerd_

1/ Conversation that isn't appropriate, but could be considered "harmless" because the behavior is normalized:

Senior academic man:
What do you think of going on [insert] expedition, to haunt for meteor fragments?

Space loving me:
Omg are you serious?! I'd love that...

2/
Space loving me:
So what does that entail?

Senior academic man:
We'll be going to [insert place] to collect meteor samples for [insert study] usually we camp out there.

Space loving me:
Sounds great, I'll need a list of equipment needed, who else is coming?

3/ Senior academic man:
You, me and probably 2 other team members. A geologist from [insert institution] and a colleague of mine.

Space loving me:
Sounds good, let me know the details so I can make arrangements!

Senior academic man:
The sky out there, you'll love it...

4/ Space loving me:
I'm already excited! Can't wait. It's been so long since I camped out and I've never done anything like this before, thank you so much. You're the best.

Senior academic man:
What type of wine do you like?

Space loving me:
?

5/ Space loving me:
I don't think I have a preference, but I don't know much about wine. I know I'm not a fan of red.

Senior academic man:
White it is, we can share a tent, have some wine out there and look at the stars. If you get cold I'll keep you warm.

Space loving me:
...

6/6 That's as far as I'm going to go, the point here is:

Not the first time this happens, it isn't okay, if a woman gets mad or scared about it she isn't being "dramatic" and please just don't act like you had no idea this isn't okay

Come on.

You know what the worst part is? How much people think that being affected by these things is "overreacting"

I've spent a pretty huge chunk of my life letting unwanted advances happen, because I was wired to see them as a signs of me being "worthy of attention".

It's not okay

So maybe let's stop pretending that when you behave this way, you were just "trying to be nice" and let's also stop calling the aggravation that results from these situations "overreactions".

I didn't post this too long ago (even though this isn't new, just neverending) and I'm already getting DMs from women with stories, in all kinds of fields and jobs.

It's aggravating that so many people identify with this, but I'm also glad people think they can tell me about it

I already had to start blocking people because of this, but I'd like to make something clear for the future.

No amount of bullying is ever going to stop me from saying what I have to say.

In fact, had I known better, I would've done *everything I could* to destroy this perv.

Unfortunately I didn't have any knowledge of what I could've done, and now that I do, my experiences are irrelevant.

So, I'm sorry if this kind of thing makes you uncomfortable, but loving something shouldn't mean having to put up with this kind of thing to get it.

Maybe let's spend more time listening, actually providing some guidance and support to people who are *as lost as I was* when I was being asked by senior academic man "What are you wearing".

Less speeches in here about how you're an ally for everything, and more doing plz.