Thread by @MollyMcKew

An ode to my nephew’s chili pepper party — which is really an ode to my sister, who is a birthday party lunatic but in all the right ways. /1

“A chili pepper party!” said our best guy
My sister said, sigh, I’ll give it a try
She found chili jewelry, pepper lights and balloons
Got enough tacos to feed six baboons /2

There were pepper chips for the kids to sample
Carolina reaper cheese puffs for example
/3

”Let’s make chili cake pops!” Said some total dope
Stayed up until midnight to make them bespoke /4

A pepper eating contest, to make the kids sweat
“Eat it! Eat it!” they cry, to torment the rest
Their mouths were on fire, with screams to abound
(Don’t worry, there were milkshakes to wash it all down) /5

“Not carbonation — that makes it worse!”
“Bread is ok — but try the milk first!”
So much kid wisdom ‘midst hot chili fray
(Sorry no-lactose kids, this just isn’t your day) /6

Presiding atop the capsicum regatta
Was the world’s tiniest donkey piñata /7

Now make-your-own apron, in case it gets messy!
(Not that any of these kids were dressy) /8

The salsa making contest (which no teams would lose)
Red-hot prizes for the winners to choose! /9

Spicy Spice, The Hot Mama, Sweet n Savory, The Supreme
(The prevalence of onions was hardly a dream) /10

And finally, of course, the pièce de résistance!
A red velvet chili cake, gleaming in fondant /11

Everyone left high on nightshade capsaicin
With lips fully puffed feeling inside-out facials

We among pepper carnage and taco debris
An acre of red chocolate crumbs — maybe three —
Are plumb. Peppered. Out. /x