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OKAY. First Indiana Jones movie. Learned while making the poll it's called Raiders Of The Lost Ark. It has Harrison Ford in it. He's also Han Solo. I can name no other thing he's in (don't tweet me things he's in). I'm hoping he's Indiana Jones but who knows.

1/ #YubiViews
Things I know about Indiana Jones:

1) I think he has a whip.
2) It's not the film I thought it was, turns out that was The Mummy. They're separate films.
3) I think... he... gets stuff?

Now the title of this movie does have more clues.

2/ #YubiViews
1) I guess there's gonna be raiders.
2) I know of precisely one (1) ark, and it's Noah's Ark. So I guess we're gonna raid Noah's Ark.
3) Probably gonna be a whole lot of fucked up old animals or something. Also maybe religion? Maybe we find Noah?

3/ #YubiViews
That's it that's all I can suss out from this film so... let's dive in!

4/ #YubiViews
Here we goooo I don't know ANY of these actors being named apart from Harrison Ford lmao

5/ #YubiViews Title card for the film.
oh, we got a spooky temple!

ALSO THIS FILM WAS WRITTEN BY GEORGE LUCAS!? THE STAR WARS MAN?????? wild

6/ #YubiViews
okay this forest is making a lot of fucked up animal sounds and i am on EDGE also we got poison darts! We got Hovitos (?) following these people! We got very good music!

7/ #YubiViews
oh wild!!! set in 1936!!! okay that's cool. I'm digging this exploring vibe!

loving this man's map confusion

8/ #YubiViews Man looking confused as another man looks at a map.
AHHH HE DOES HAVE A WHIP HELL YES!!!! Fuckin BINGO

9/ #YubiViews A whip.
........... is this harrison ford because it doesn't look like him but maybe i'm just being face-blind????

10/ #YubiViews Potentially Harrison Ford.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT OHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO OH I HATE THIS FILM I HATE IT

11/ #YubiViews Man with big spiders on him.
-HIGH PITCHED SHRIEKING-

OH IT GOT WORSE OH GOD IT GOT WORSE I'M YELLING

CAN I PUT THE DINOSAURS FILM ON INSTEAD

12/ #YubiViews Second man covered in spiders.
what's wrong with the light bro

13/ #YubiViews
OH BIG SPIKES HUH OKAY YEAH STAY OUT OF THE LIGHT BRO CHRIST

THIS IS ALSO PRETTY D&D HUH.

14/ #YubiViews
hell yeah

15/ #YubiViews The two men clinging to each other.
I've played enough D&D to know you should NOT TOUCH THIS!!!!

16 / #YubiViews A golden statue on a pedestal.
boy there's a lot of traps here huh

Also this scene feels very iconic and like it shouldn't be 7 minutes into the film

17/ #YubiViews Indiana Jones looking at the gold statue.
WAIT HOLD UP IS HE DOING THE EQUAL WEIGHT THING

ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT ALL OF THIS TYPE OF D&D DUNGEON IS BASED OF INDIANA JONES IS THIS THE BIT WHERE SOMEONE FAILS A DEX CHECK AND A BIG BOULDER CHASES THEM

IS THAT ALL FROM THIS

18/ #YubiViews
UH OH IT WAS TOO HEAVY MR. JONES

19/ #YubiViews
OH BETRAYED!!!! HE'S BEEN BETRAYED!!!

20/ #YubiViews
WELL. YOU KNOW. I HAVEN'T MUCH SYMPATHY TBH.

21/ #YubiViews The non protagonist is dead now.
OH

MY

FUCKING

GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

22/ #YubiViews Indiana Jones is being chased now by a boulder.
it's from indiana jones

it's all from the first 10 minutes of indiana jones

what the actual fuck

everything is from indiana jones

23/ #YubiViews
oh now we have a german dude here

24/ #YubiViews
okay well judging from his Evil Villain Laugh i'm guessing Belloq is the Bad Guy huh

25/ #YubiViews
OH I KNOW THIS MUSIC!!! Do do DO DOOOOOO, do do DOOOO! Huh now i thought that was the damn buster's theme (also never seen)

26/ #YubiViews
LMFAO MOOD (except i like small chill snakes)

27/ #YubiViews Indiana Jones yelling about snakes.
oh damn son that's a glow up

28/ #YubiViews Indiana Jones as a professor.
LMFAO THE GIRL WITH 'LOVE YOU' ON HER EYELIDS THAT'S AMAZING

29/ #YubiViews
Okay here's some plot stuff with the army turning up to ask questions...

30/ #YubiViews
oh wait wild there's nazi's in this???

31/ #YubiViews
OH WAIT WHAT

THE ARK OF THE COVENANT??? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT GRIFFIN MCELROY MADE A JOKE ABOUT IT IN THE DARK SOULS III MONSTER FACTORY VIDEO

wait so it's not noah's ark????

32/ #YubiViews Jones and another man talking about the Ark of the Covenant.
well 10/10 for them immediately explaining what it is lmao

the bible laws box

33/ #YubiViews
AH SEE IT'S IN EGYPT THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I GOT CONFUSED WITH THIS AND THE MUMMY I THINK THIS IS A VERY REASONABLE MISUNDERSTANDING TBH

34/ #YubiViews
the nazi's want the bible laws box because it can shoot fire

THIS IS D&D. EVERYTHING IS D&D.

35/ #YubiViews
OHHH THEY CALL HIM INDY THAT'S VERY CUTE THAT'S VERY VERY CUTE

also we now have 'Marion' being name dropped into the list huh

36/ #YubiViews
someone here is gonna be a secret nazi for sure but i've already forgotten who everyone is or what their job is apart from Indiana Jones so i guess it'll be a surprise for me too

37/ #YubiViews
We got a tavern. We got a drinking competition, we got a beautiful lady. Hell yes.

38/ #YubiViews
Oh jesus she hit him but i feel like he probably deserved it tbh

Abner is dead but... i forgot... who he is...

39/ #YubiViews
I like Marion a lot she's very cool and i hope nothing bad happens to her in this film for the sake of man pain

40/ #YubiViews
AH FOR FUCK'S SAKE OH NO

41/ #YubiViews A group of threatening men.
OH NO!!!! OH NO!!!! DON'T HURT HER DON'T BURN HER!!!!

42/ #YubiViews
HELL YES INDY!!!

And now a huge gun fight and also the tavern is on fire and people are on fire

43/ #YubiViews
"UNTIL I GET MY $5000 BACK I'M YOUR GODDAMN PARTNER!"

Hell YES Marion!!!!!

44/ #YubiViews
ok wait i'm confused

belloq was the nazi guy wasn't he??? is there two bad guys??

also this man looks familiar

45/ #YubiViews A handsome man.
LMAO WHAT'S THIS WILD CHASING FIGHTING SCENE ON THE STREETS OF CAIRO

i love this a lot omg

46/ #YubiViews
"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, I'M AN AMERICAN."

WOOF LMAO WELP. HUH.

ALSO I'M LAUGHING SO HARD AT HER BEING CARRIED OFF IN THE BIG BASKET THIS IS SO SILLY RIGHT NOW

47/ #YubiViews
OH NO DON'T PUT HER THERE

48/ #YubiViews The baddies putting Marion in a cart of explosives.
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

49/ #YubiViews The cart exploded.
Indy the monkey is the secret nazi!!!! The monkey is the secret nazi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

50/ #YubiViews
This Belloq guy is Edgy (also i now see he is different from nazi man but he's also a nazi and i did think his accent was german so u know)

I'M GOING TO BE SO SAD IF MARION IS DEAD

51/ #YubiViews
OH NO THE MAN POISONED THE DATES AND THE MONKEY'S GONNA EAT THEM NOOOOO

52/ #YubiViews
rip secret nazi monkey

53/ #YubiViews
this map room is VERY cool and i am VERY into this whole put the staff in the right place to get the beam of light going in the right spot

54/ #YubiViews
OH SHIT! That's COOL!!!

55/ #YubiViews The light turning into a firey beam.
OH FUCK MARION IS ALIVE

56/ #YubiViews
oh god don't kiss for god's sake you already made me see so many spiders

57/ #YubiViews
LMFAO OH MY GOD HE'S TYING HER UP AGAIN OH MY GOD INDIANA JONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

58/ #YubiViews
OH shit main nazi dude is back and he has a badass burn on his hand now huh

ALSO NO NOW THEY'RE GONNA TORTURE MARION!!!!!

59/ #YubiViews
This Is Ominous

60/ #YubiViews (also i wish i had some donuts..... just for me.....) Indiana Jones with a big storm behind him.
i hope someone here can either sekiro lighting or zuko style redirect it because if not i feel like someone's about to be hit there's a lot of metal crowbars right now

61/ #YubiViews
JESUS CHRIST I JUMPED

62/ #YubiViews Big sculpture of a nasty animal thing.
'why does the floor move' WHAT DO YOU MEAN SALLAH WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT

IS IT SNAKES

63/ #YubiViews
AAUUUGHHHH IT'S SO MANY SNAKES

OH NO INDY

64/ #YubiViews A floor of snakes.
DSLKDKSDKSKJDS

LMAOOOOOO THIS IS A FAMOUS LINE!!!! THIS IS FROM INDIANA JONES???? "X. Why did it have to be X." OH MY GOD

65/ #YubiViews Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes.
oh no marion i hope ur gonna be okay

66/ #YubiViews
why the fuck is belloq making her wear this dress and shoes

ugh

67/ #YubiViews
Oh my god that was a lot of snakes Indy just incinerated huh

ALSO HELL YES MARION GET THAT PERV SMASHED AND STAB HIM WITH THAT KNIFE!!!!!

68/ #YubiViews
GOD SALLAH IS SO FAMILIAR IT'S KILLING ME I'M SURE EVERYONE'S TWEETED WHO HE IS AT ME A BILLION TIMES NOW (but i don't look at notifs while I'm watching)!!!!

HE JUST LOOKS REALLY KIND!!!! I HOPE HE SURVIVES!!!

69/ #YubiViews (nice)
LMFAO IT WAS JUST A COAT HANGER NOT NUNCHUCKS

70/ #YubiViews
o shiiiiiit here we go

71/ #YubiViews Sallah and Indy lifting out the ark.
UH OH BELLOQ SPOTTED THE BOX

72/ #YubiViews
oh nooooooo they're getting locked in the tomb and the snakes are everywhere and sallah's been captured and it's all gone terribly wrong

73/ #YubiViews
okay look we got another like 40m of this.
I don't know this film, but I sure as fuck know my D&D. I'm gonna call it. That first box? I don't think it was the real Ark. It was VERY fancy. And Pharoes were notorious for secret 'Real' chambers and artefacts.

34/ #YubiViews
AUGH JESUS FUCK GODDAMN NEARLY PISSED MYSELF

75/ #YubiViews (I think i fucked my numbering on the last tweet OOPS)
HOW IS THIS FILM AND THE MUMMY NOT THE SAME FILM

THERE'S A LOT OF MUMMYS HERE

76/ #YubiViews
OH MY GOD THIS IS JUST CONSTANT SHENANIGANS RIGHT NOW WITH THIS PLANE AND THIS FIGHT SCENE

also that shirtless wrestling guy is making me laugh

77/ #YubiViews
OH NO IS MARION GOING TO BLOW UP AGAIN

NOOOO

78/ #YubiViews
oh phew they made it

79/ #YubiViews
i feel like open top cars don't provide the best protection tbh

80/ #YubiViews
"I don't know, I'm making this up as I go."

HEHEHEHE i love it

81/ #YubiViews
maybe I was wrong maybe it is the correct ark maybe i'm just too suspicious

82/ #YubiViews
OH I HEARD THE WILLHEM SCREAM THING LMAO

83/ #YubiViews
SEE WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THIS CAR CHASE THING IS EACH SITUATION IS BEING DEALT WITH A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY AND NOT WITH 1001 EXPLOSIONS AND JUMP CUTS I CAN'T FOLLOW.

More car chases like this please!!!

84 #YubiViews
i'm already missing you too, sallah

you lovely beautiful man

85/ #YubiViews
LMFAOOOOO MARION SMACKED HIM WITH THE MIRROR LMAO amazing

86/ #YubiViews
oh no can everyone please put their clothes back on

please put the clothes back on

blease

blease put the clothes... back on....

87/ #YubiViews
NO MUSIC STOP GOING ROMANTIC STOP

STOP MAKING OUT

oh thank god he passed out thank u mr ford i owe u my soul

88/ #YubiViews
UH OH THE BOX IS ON FIRE ON A SHIP THAT'S NOT GOOD

89/ #YubiViews
now HOW did the nazi's find them!!!!

90/ #YubiViews
INDY YOU BETTER GET IN THAT SUB REAL QUICK BEFORE IT SINKS MY DUDE

91/ #YubiViews
OH MY GOD THE GUARD UNIFORM DOESN'T FIT HIM LMAOOOO THAT'S VERY GOOD

92/ #YubiViews
oh man all our favourites have turned up for this ritual huh

93/ #YubiViews
"Your persistence surprises even me."

LMAOOOOO

94/ #YubiViews
Mr Indiana 'Can't Shoot The Old Box' Jones huh

95/ #YubiViews
who the fuck is this

ALSO WE ONLY GOT 10 MINUTES LEFT IDK HOW WE'RE GETTING OUT OF THIS ONE PALS

96/ #YubiViews A random priest.
what's in the box!!!!

WHAT'S IN THE BOX!!!!!!

97/ #YubiViews
oh shit it's sand??? UH OH YOU GOT THE WRONG ARK????

98/ #YubiViews
oh no wait now everything is exploding?!

99/ #YubiViews
this is spooky

100/ #YubiViews The box is glowing.
WHAT THE FUCK IS COMING OUT OF IT IS THAT SOULS OR SOMETHING???

ALSO 'Don't look at it'?!?!

101/ #YubiViews
WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS NIGHT ON BEAR MOUNTAIN SHIT GOING ON

102/ #YubiViews A ghost lady out the box.
the FUCK is going on!?

103/ #YubiViews God is shooting Nazi's.
God said fuck nazis

104/ #YubiViews
OH MY GOD THEY'RE MELTING LIKE CANDLES WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK THIS IS WILD

105/ #YubiViews
JESUS THAT WAS A WHOLE GODDAMN THING HUH

THOSE SPECIAL EFFECTS WERE TERRIFYING!!!!

106/ #YubiViews
"hey... wanna see what all the fuss was about?"

107/ #YubiViews Indy and Marion looking at the box.
wait a minute

was Doctor Jones by Aqua about Indiana Jones

108/ #YubiViews
well thank god the american government has a source of unspeakable power huh

109/ #YubiViews
PALS I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE GONNA FORGET WHERE YOU PUT IT

110/ #YubiViews A warehouse full of boxes.
Oh its over!

That was SO fun!!! Oh I loved it!!! What a great film! I'm so glad it wasn't Noah's Ark and Marion and Sallah didn't die! I loved how much D&D was influenced by it, and the melting of the Nazi's!!! Thanks for joining me!

111/111 #YubiViews
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