1. Hello and welcome! It’s episode 291 of Mr and Mrs Better Half. #MrMrsBetterHalf is designed to strengthen marriages and relationships that will lead to marriage, with wisdom from God's Word. 
2. Last week’s topic was, ‘Dealing with the struggle for acceptance’. Missed it? Catch up here wakelet.com/wake/500bfa87-… if you missed it. #MrMrsBetterHalf
3. This week we’re discussing “Cohabitation” which is becoming increasingly common in our environment. #MrMrsBetterHalf
4. Cohabitation simply means living together and having a sexual relationship without being married. Cohabitation is seen as the easy way out for those that are anti-marriage or people without religious affinities. #MrMrsBetterHalf
5. The idea is that by living together you can get the perks of marriage without all the legal trappings. Religious or not, there are some advantages to marriage that shouldn’t be swept away because you seek convenience. #MrMrsBetterHalf
6. From building assets together to being on hand during medical emergencies, down to when you have children. #MrMrsBetterHalf
7. For others, cohabitation is not an alternative but rather a prelude to marriage. This is the theory of the ‘Test Drive’. This idea is that before you make a commitment to invest in a huge asset, you ought to try it out first. #MrMrsBetterHalf
8. So single people move in together and play house trying to ‘test drive’ their compatibility before marriage. The truth is that comparing living together and going for a test drive is very flawed. #MrMrsBetterHalf
9. The car dealer doesn’t give you the car to take to your house; he lets you drive it around the block. During that short drive, you get a general overview of what the car can do and decide if it’s good enough to buy. #MrMrsBetterHalf
10. Please understand that life will always involve taking some calculated risks. No risks, no returns. No matter how much you test drive a car, you still have to take a plunge into the unforeseeable future and buy it. #MrMrsBetterHalf
11. In the same vein, courtship may seem insufficient, but you just have to take the plunge and get married. People give reasons such as (a) Love. We love each other and want to be together. Cohabiting is the logical step to deepening our love. #MrMrsBetterHalf
12. (b) Finances. Why should we spend money on 2 houses when we can share 1 and save towards our future? (c) Compatibility. What if we find out we are sexually or emotionally incompatible? Better to avoid a divorce. #MrMrsBetterHalf
13. (d) Marriage is a formality. We are engaged; the ceremony is just a formality. Our lives should start now. #MrMrsBetterHalf
14. When people give those reasons, what I really hear is fear, impatience, immaturity and sometimes manipulation. Let’s look at fear. Some people are afraid of failing in marriage. ‘Better a broken relationship than a marriage’. #MrMrsBetterHalf
15. You do not want to be a statistic. You do not want to be like so-and-so whose marriage disintegrated in a year. #MrMrsBetterHalf
16. You feel if it doesn’t work out, at least you can pack your things and leave. No lawyers, no papers, no problem. There are 2 big problems with giving in to this fear. The first is that by not fully committing, you're preparing to fail. #MrMrsBetterHalf
17. Relationships need all you have to work - you need to be fully committed. You should be all in, or completely out. The second is the misconception that breaking up isn’t as messy. While there are no legal papers, it will still hurt! #MrMrsBetterHalf
18. You will still have a broken heart and will still need to deal with the effects of a broken relationship. You'll still have to transition into living alone, paying bills & finding a social life separate from your ex-partner. #MrMrsBetterHalf
19. You will also have to deal with public perception and be subjected to the whispers and speculations of third parties. I don’t know about you, but that sounds a lot like the pain of divorce to me, and if you have children together - even worse! #MrMrsBetterHalf
21. I remember the advice a mature woman gave younger ladies that was simple, but I think is really apt. “You will have many years to cook, clean, and worry over your home. Don’t borrow trouble before its time”. #MrMrsBetterHalf
22. Some ladies are too quick to run into their boyfriend’s homes to a play house. Don’t jump the gun. If he will be your life partner, you will have to care for him for many years. Keep your cool and wait for marriage. #MrMrsBetterHalf
23. Impatience for men is usually about sex. Ladies, please know that many men marry for unlimited, guilt-free sex. Many guys (even the good ones) have admitted that if they could get sex without marriage, they’d be unmarried. #MrMrsBetterHalf
25. Even worse is if he meets someone new and marries her in a very short space of time. We’ve all heard the stories! What is it that makes a man stay unmarried to you for 10 years but he quickly marries another in 1 month? #MrMrsBetterHalf
26. It’s worth pondering about. Maybe you overexposed yourself and lost your lustre. Guys, remember that many ladies dream of their wedding days - of the big party and the fancy dress. #MrMrsBetterHalf
27. By stringing them along, you deny them of their dreams and they will one day come to resent you. Cohabitating in this manner is the very definition of eating your cake and having it. And it very selfish. #MrMrsBetterHalf
28. So, having lived together for years should you marry out of obligation or familial pressure? That’s not the answer. Needless to say, the obligation is not an enviable situation or environment to build a ‘happily ever after’. #MrMrsBetterHalf
29. Also, some people have been manipulated into cohabitation. ‘If you love me, you will move in with me’. Is this a relationship or are you being exploited? Learn to recognize selfishness and attempts at mind control! #MrMrsBetterHalf
30. You know he/she could just as easily say, “if you love me, you will leave your parents or kill my ex.” If you wouldn’t hurt your ex or your parents, why would you be so willing to hurt yourself? #MrMrsBetterHalf
31. Strive to do what is right, not just for the present but also for the future. The story of your life will comprise of your many decisions. Write a good story for your children to read. #MrMrsBetterHalf
32. Now some people have lived together and gotten married thereafter so it seems it worked out for them. As much as I encourage people not to live in regret, I encourage them, even more, to deliberately avoid regret. #MrMrsBetterHalf
33. Some people are quick to say they have no regrets and would do the same thing all over again. I often wonder if they have kids. And if yes, what would they counsel when the kids ask relationship questions. #MrMrsBetterHalf
34. You will have to explain why mommy was pregnant or why the child was born 3 months after your wedding date. Would you want them to follow in your steps or would you urge them to try a different way? #MrMrsBetterHalf
35. You know the irony? Many times even the most wayward, sexually loose people want their kids to be good. You want your daughter to find someone who values her enough to propose. #MrMrsBetterHalf
36. You want your son to be a responsible man and a good father to his children. You want them to bear his name. We want our children to do what we tell them and not copy what we have done. It doesn’t work that way. #MrMrsBetterHalf
37. Even if you don’t think you are short-changing yourself, think of the example you set for those coming after you. Above all, I want to stress that marriage is good and honourable and contrary to propaganda, it’s a lot of fun! #MrMrsBetterHalf
38. You can experience the security of a loving relationship that is legal before the eyes of God and man. Take a leap of faith, commit to working on your relationship and have God as your partner. #MrMrsBetterHalf
39. I hope this has been helpful to you. I’ll be back next week with a new topic. Until then, remember to share and retweet. #MrMrsBetterHalf
