Thread by @fatfeistyfemme

Thread: Thin women, we need to talk about your violence.

The other day, I was walking with my partner down a busy sidewalk which then gave way to an open courtyard and a lovely garden entrance.

There were benches, flowers drying against a lovingly placed memorial ghost bike & a mural of beautiful black & brown faces towering above.

A rare waft of greenery filled the air despite the belching cars in the r lane road beside me, but I wasn't paying attention to any of that.

Instead, I was watching you: two young girls in matching black bomber jackets with arms linked in a menacing camaraderie.

How did I know it was menacing from 100 paces away? Because I have lived in this body for 43 years. My guts are a finely-tuned instrument.

Instinctively and a single fluid movement, I stepped nearer - almost behind - my partner and tucked my elbow in tight against my body.

Even with an open courtyard beside you, I knew you would not give way. You would walk full-force, shoulder forward, straight into my body.

So I stepped aside, not halfway as decent humans do to make room for one another, but 100% of the way, well in advance of your arrival.

But as you passed, your friend reared up & gave you a little shove. You hit hard against my shoulder, twisting my body sideways.

"Sorry!" I blurted unthinkingly, cursing my polite instincts. "Sorry!" you mimicked in a dull voice, as you both burst into brutal laughter.

My partner and I walked in silence for a few paces. "You OK?" she eventually asked.

"Oh that thing where they bashed into me on purpose? Yeah, that's fine." I sniped -then instantly felt ashamed at lashing out at her.

She weathered the sarcasm like a champ. She's used to it now. Knows to give me a minute and let me come back to center. Knows not to judge.

"Sorry." I say. One word. She nods, touches my elbow, asks me a question about the play we're about to see. I answer in monotone.

This is an improvement for us, being on the same team against the everyday violence I experience in this body. I'm grateful.

London is a busy city. Often we walk single-file down crowded, cobbled corridors. Often she misses the moments of impact.

One time, in SOHO, I tucked in behind her against a wide stream of strangers when I felt a sharp jab to my ribs. "MOO, Bitch!"

I looked up quickly to see an ugly sneer across the face of an otherwise pretty blonde woman. "Fuckin' cow!" she hissed as she moved past me

It was gutting and over before I could blink. I walked behind my partner for another half a mile before we were beside each other again

I was a storm cloud by the time we spoke again and my mouth was full of lightening when I spoke. She didn't know why. She thundered back.

When I explained myself, her body wilted. "Why can't we ever just go for a fucking walk?" she asked. My heart split right down the center.

It's a strange thing to be so alone in the company of the woman who loves me best. Or the friends who know me best.

But until you've been in a body like mine, or in any other body that faces daily micro and macro aggressions just for existing,

then you won't have learned our hyper-vigilance. Until you've dodged lit matches at bus stops or burning cigarette butts from passing cars,

Until you've learned, by necessity, the ability to intuit the difference between cruel laughter & joy from the distance of a city block,

until you've heard car engines rev at the edges of crosswalks followed by dark laughter, until you've felt the sting of a stranger's spit,

then any marginalised person walking beside you will always be a little bit alone. So be patient. Be kind. Be present.

But back to thin women - because you're the real focus here. I know- #notallthinwomen. But some of you, enough of you, are violent.

When I am physically harassed on the street or the train, 90% of the time it's young, conventionally pretty women between 15 and 30.

Verbal harassment is more heavily male. But when men walk into me, it's oblivious entitlement. When women do it, they meant to do it.

So here's what I want to say to you, thin women. If my body raises your ire so much that you can't help but be violent: GET SOME HELP.

You are out of control. You're so buried and unwitting in your own oppression that you've become a literal tool of the patriarchy.

Honestly it's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you. Especially the bit where you don't even realize the irony of the agenda you're serving

Women demanding conformance from women, under threat of violence, to the aesthetic mandates of the male gaze -- that's RIDICULOUS.

You're RIDICULOUS. Please get it together. You're a danger to yourself and others. We could be in this together if you did. Imagine that.