A few thoughts on this:
(Please note that I have never used OkCupid or any other dating sites/apps) theblog.okcupid.com/an-open-letter…
(Please note that I have never used OkCupid or any other dating sites/apps) theblog.okcupid.com/an-open-letter…
When the Internet and interactions had on it were fleeting, ephemeral, and largely meaningless in the grand scheme of things, having witty user names to protect identity and allow people to experiment with the great unknowns of the Internet totally made sense.
No one wanted to be tied to a history of things they said or did on the Internet from when they were 12 and using “soccerboy” or “BondGirl” as a “witty” username. And that made more sense as we grew up and realized that there actually were consequences for Internet activities.
For example, people in my generation were repeatedly warned about posting photos of underage drinking that college admissions committees/employers/etc could find and use to reject applications. Everyone was happy to hide behind those witty usernames.
As other countries, with state surveillance apparatuses, got internet access, the ability to use pseudonyms helped protect journalists and activists and people who could be jailed, tortured, and executed for the things they said behind usernames.
But the companies that gave us the freedom to hide behind usernames were growing up along side us, and realizing that it wasn’t profitable to keep allowing false names. And that governments that demand tech firms turn over user data weren’t deterred.
These firms make money by selling information, and making use of it for targeted ads, etc etc. Facebook had mandated real names to populate its social graph, etc. This information is very valuable for not only selling, but tailoring messages, and other things.
In China, a new program assigns loyalty ratings to citizens based in part on their social media activity, and this affects credit scores, job promotions, etc. The consequences for what we do online are increasingly real.
Some people have always felt this, like minorities, marginalized groups, those who’ve been harassed or targeted based on race, creed, or sexual orientation, etc. For them, user names saved lives, by allowing them to participate in conversations but protecting their identities.
When we date in real life, we use our real names. Usually everything goes fine, even if the dates go nowhere. For some, dating is a dangerous activity. We’ve seen dozens of transgender individuals murdered, we’ve seen dangerous stalking, both real life and cyber, etc.
Dating via apps allowed people to be more anonymous until they could get to know each other a bit, and see if the person was worth revealing a name to. And usernames theoretically kept your dating history a bit more secure/not have it follow you through life.
Of course, many sites link to email addresses or payment info and those can be used to ID you, but not by a jilted ex, only a person within the company with access to that info or effective hackers.
OkCupid’s statement seems to mockingly dismiss any of the second or third order effects of their decision. The real name policy means user data is suddenly more valuable to gov’ts and hackers. That very personal user data can be demanded by governments, targeted via hacks...
In addition to the danger that individuals can be more easily stalked or targeted by people that are angry or having been dumped or develop an obsession with a person who rejects them. OkCupid won’t assume responsibility for enabling that. Will it do more to secure data?
No answers in this flippant statement, which they might see as cute, but many others see as a company making dating substantially more challenging for them. People will say regular dating is dangerous too. Yes. But tech promised to fix our problems, not exacerbate them.
And that’s why many people are upset about this change, the tone in which it’s made, and the lack of acknowledgement of the consequences or any assurances about how OkCupid might address them.
Something worth remembering, of course, is that OkCupid is not alone in making this change or alone in making policies that are potentially endangering people’s safety. If you choose to go online, and post a pic, pretty much anyone with basic research skills can find you.
This does close one more door for those who wanted to at least make it a little harder to find them or have a bit of privacy. In reality, of course, the pretense of privacy or anonymity on the Internet is basically gone. Too many companies know too much about you now.
