Thread by @gsazza

I am embarking on rewatching all MCU movies in order, ready for Infinity War. Prepare for me to once again begrudgingly acknowledge Cap 1 is actually a good movie. I will attempt to keep live tweeting to a minimum but cannot promise anything.

Wish me luck, friends.

IMMEDIATE LIVE TWEET this happens less than five minutes into iron man 1 fuck me and this connected universe good bye (before john slattery was howard 👍)

pre afghanistan tony is such a fucking hot mess like people who limit tonys trauma to avengers/iron man related stuff dont fucking understand tony at all get awaY FROM MY SON

tony talking about how his father helped defeat the nazis and how many people would call him a hero !!!! tony, who could never be as good as steve !!! tony, who even twenty years after his father dies still jist wants to impress him and live up to his legacy !!!

side note I tried really hard to hate ww2 howard but like my love for dominic cooper beats out my hatred for father!howard

all the starks are a mess

"You ever lose an hour's sleep in your life?"
"I'd be prepared to lose a few with you."

this exchange alone deserves a pulitzer

accept that this will be a thousand tweet long thread lbr

also, justice for pepper potts, my underrated queen of the world and all things

iconic content 👍 also the soundtrack of this film is unreal and @RobertDowneyJr essentially enabled this multi billion dollar franchise on the back of one of the most phenomenal performances in action movie history

iron man 1 and 2 are literally 90% montages of tony in tight vests welding things and im like v here for this

"How was the fun-vee? Next time you ride with me, Okay?"

LOOK DON CHEADLES RHODEY NEVER HAD THIS MUCH BROMANCE

obie is terrible but the blue shirt with the white collar and yellow tie is a fucking outfit and a half

tony going out flying before hes ready, trying to go as high as he can despite knowing its stupid bc he high key doesnt care what happens to him lol and is just desperate to feel something

pepper and tony is everything like if u have to dig a canon pairing its gonna be pepperony

tony is in rhodeys phone as "the starkster" this movie gives me life

ugh obie was such a good first villain and like .... it took ten years for another villain to not just be better but to even DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT

this scene is Unreal honestly, jeff bridges is fucking terrifying and rdjr does so much without even fucking being able to move

TRUTH IS.... I AM IRON MAN

also the big final showdown of this film is so short??? like i get origin stories are front end heavy but the actual fight scene is v underwhelming (i still love this film tho)

see you in a few days for ............... the incredible hulk, which tbh i have never watched and properly paid attention to

OH a final thought..... Iron Man has been officially unseated from its decade long throne of being the best MCU movie, without question

I'M HERE, IM QUEER, AND ITS TIME FOR THE INCREDIBLE HULK yes I'm assuming you all care about all my thoughts as I watch this movie properly for the first time ever

my brother said it wasn't as bad as he expected, so with that glowing recommendation, lets go

why is there an iron man trailer BEFORE incredible hulk also its a really great trailer

ah, universal, still out here fucking up our solo hulk movie dreams

WHY DOES THIS FILM MADE IN 2008 HAVE A REALLY LONG OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE

look i love ruffalo!bruce but norton!bruce has no regard for his well being and is a reckless, aggressive son of a bitch and im very about that

DON'T MAKE ME.... HUNGRY. YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M HUNGRY.

wait... thats not right

we dont see mcu bruce doing enough actual science

not just fucking around in tonys lab. give me avengers style lab coat and a microscope bruce banner

how did marvel persuade ed norton, william hurt, liv tyler and tim roth to do this movie not on the back of even really a successful iron man launch ???? (production would have started well before iron man came out) like ed norton easily one of the most high profile marvel leads

this favela roof top parkour chase scene is fuckin sickkkkkk

DRAMATIC LIME GREEN CONTACT LENS TIME

norton!hulk gives exactly zero fucks and im living this has been a SOLID opening act ngl

bruce banner is such a fucking tragic character

IT THREW A FORKLIFT TRUCK LIKE IT WAS A SOFTBALL

tim roth is kinda hot sorry

BRUCE BANNER WEARS BAGGY BADLY FITTING SLACKS SO THEY'RE LESS LIKELY TO BE DESTROYED WHEN HE HULKS OUT

I love how universities are presented in movies like they're some prestigious place of knowledge and not a cesspit of terrible people combined with rote learning and stupid pointless shit thats like being in school but worse

bruce banner revisiting the site of his trauma because he's a fuckin fool who hates letting himself be happy

LOL WAS THAT PRODUCT PLACEMENT FOR NORTON ANTIVIRUS SOFTWARE WTF 2008 was wild

BRUCE BANNER IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY PASS IT ON

petition to bring betty ross back to the mcu thanks

DID BRUCE JUST SWALLOW A FULL SIZE MEMORY STICK

they're just casually driving a tank around a university campus wtf there are no bystanders whatsoever

Bruce eating that memory stick proves once and for all that he has literally no gag reflex

PISSED OFF AND READY FOR ROUND THREE

HOW DID ROSS BECOME SECRETARY OF STATE AFTER THIS SHIT SHOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S LIKE A TRUMP LEVEL TERRIBLE CABINET APPOINTMENT

this movie started out better than I expected but ...... this is just another shit cgi battle sequence where there's the Hero and the Bad Guy who is exactly the same as the hero but without their REDEEMING CHARACTER TRAITS its literally the same as the climax in iron man

like iron monger is less good evil version of iron man, abomination is a less good evil hulk, whiplash is also a less good evil version of iron man, red skull is a less good evil captain america 🙃🙃🙃

HULK SMASH !!!!

HELLO ANTHONY ❤❤❤

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU WE WERE PUTTING A TEAM TOGETHER

why is tony involved in the avengers at this point and then isnt involved in iron man 2

there you go. that was the incredibly average hulk, for your tweeting pleasure

next time, on sarah recaps the marvel cinematic universe, i offer unto thee iron man 2, a genuinely horrible film saved only by rhodey and natasha

the ultimate conclusion of this experience is me deciding 1) a definitive ranking of mcu movies worst to best and 2) deciding which phase has been the strongest so far

stay tuned, im ready to defend my choices

it's iron man 2 time. the mcu is well and truly in progress, bringing us nick fury, natasha romanoff and a brand new rhodey. let's go

who is letting tony hold press conferences tho like

tony: I called this press conference today to talk about the new direction of Stark Industries
*forty seconds later*
tony: and yES I LIKE FUCKING MEN AND WOMEN. THE TRUTH IS, I AM BISEXUAL.

rip to sam rockwell and mickey rourke for being in this movie tbh

movie is bad but soundtrack is popping

god tony has Issues hes fucking insufferable

who watches im2 and doesnt want to immediately give tony a hug and wrap him in a blanket

IS THAT KATE MARA WTF kate mara just served tony stark a subpoena

They like triple confirm that Don Cheadle is now Rhodey upon his entrance just to alleviate any and all confusion lmao

I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY PRIVATISED WORLD PEACE

tony hiding his fear of dying without a legacy to live up to his father's behind egotism and selfishness 👍👍

HELLO NATASHA ❤❤❤

"She did quite a spread on Tony last year."
"And she wrote a story as well."

tony looking directly into the camera/mirror and saying "do you have any other bad ideas?" before participating in the monaco grand prix is this entire franchise summed up in one line

WHO WATCHES THIS MOVIE AND DOESNT UNDERSTAND TONY IS PASSIVELY TRYING TO DIE THE WHOLE TIME

the SUITcase is awesome but takes WAY too long to assemble itself lbr

tony stark speaks fluent french 👍

this film had ALL the pieces to be good but it is not good who fuckin dropped the ball here

Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke look physically pained by this terrible script

nat weirdly hitting on tony makes me very uncomfortable

*laughing hysterically* GIVE ME A FAT BEAT TO BEAT MY BUDDY'S ASS TO

rhodey i know ur trying to help but this was not the way to do it

YOU WANNA BE A WAR MACHINE?? TAKE YOUR SHOT

DON'T 👏 GIVE 👏 YOUR 👏 FRIEND'S 👏 WEAPONS 👏 TECH 👏 TO 👏 THE 👏 MILITARY 👏

Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to exit the donut.

Don't get too attached to things. Learn to let go.

TONYS DADDY ISSUES ARE SO FUCKING DEEP GOD DAMN IT HOWARD IS A FUCK

baby tony ruining howards film take is wholesome and tragic

WHAT IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE MY GREATEST CREATION IS YOU

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

tonys hair game is strong af in this movie

god fuck the shot of tony in the blue vibranium model is so fucking beautiful

coulsons face when tony uses the cap shield prototype to bump up a pipe is iconic

reminder that tonys dressing gown in this movie is was howards 👍

lol justin hammer is such a dick

pepper and natasha efficiently cutting through all the male bullshit 👍

omg its the kid they later decided was Peter Parker aww

ughhghjhj natasha is such a fucking badass

DROP YOUR SOCKS AND GRAB YOUR CROCS, WE'RE ABOUT TO GET WET ON THIS RIDE

could really use a film, any film, with more rhodey tbh

I THINK I DID OKAY??!!!????!

mmmmmmmmmm like i will stan the fuck outta pepperony bc pepper makes tony genuinely happy and safe and special and its pure and wholesome and wonderful

funny how annoying a little prick can be, isnt it?

throwback to when marvel movies only had one end credits scene

OKAY look iron man 2 is bad but it does provide enough tragic back story to carry tony through like eight movies and a lot of character growth so u know what 🖕

NEXT TIME, i bring you 2012's wet dream loki, shakespearean super hero movies and chris hemsworths buff arms

laterz

IT'S HAMMER TIME

welcome to asgard/new mexico

say what u want about this movie but asgard is stunning

tiny baby thor is the woooOOOOOooorst and tiny baby loki is a smug fuckin prick

tbh adult thor is the worst and adult loki is a smug fuckin prick

also hes PAINFULLY blond what was it w phase 1 and everyone being intensely blond

this movie is in general INCREDIBLY INTENSE i blame kenneth branagh it could be a stage adaptation of a dramatic intergalactic shakespeare tragedy

loki is sneaky af and thor is so fucking easy to play and HELLO HEIMDALL

loki's entire life and being is an angst fest and there's a solid reason why he was the only good marvel villain for almost a decade

the night king is a frost giant pass it on

loki torn between his love for his brother and his desire for respect and his own place in the world 👍👍

THOR JUST HAMMER FLEW THROUGH THAT THING'S MOUTH OMFG

the asgard bits are ruined by chris hemsworth, despite his best effort, being unable to hold his own against tom hiddleston and more notably anthony fuckin hopkins

darcy is indisputably the highlight of thor 1 and 2

tom hiddleston on the other hand is actually pretty convincing acting opposite anthony hopkins god hes sO GOOD

yoU COULD NEVER HAVE A FROST GIANT SITTING ON THE THRONE OF ASGARD

i love them awkwardly forcing in a hulk reference and at the time that was so cool and now you cant get through a marvel movie without seven other avengers arbitrarily popping up

i forgot about jasper sitwell

am i right in thinking he's secretly evil

I FORGOT CLINT WAS IN THIS MOVIE !!!!!!!!!!! CLINT WHAT A FUCKIN LEGEND

like the MCU is well and truly in play by this point but im not sure anyone outside of marvel foresaw the pure scale of it by avengers 3

honestly people shit on this movie its actually pretty good

also clint is so bummed he doesnt get to shoot anyone lmao i dont think the mcu ever figured out what it wanted to do with barton??? dude shoulda had a netflix show based off matt fraction comics 👍

coulson is a scary ass motherfucker in the early phase movies ngl

WHY ARE HIS EYES SO BLUE WHO PUT BRIGHT BLUE CONTACTS ON CHRIS HEMSWORTH

DO NOT MISTAKE MY APPETITE FOR APATHY

is that one of starks?
i dunno, that guy never tells me anything.

i completely forgot about the whole destroyer final battle its such nonsense it just an empty metal shell THIS IS NOT EMOTIONALLY SATISFYING

"son of coul" is literally the funniest line in this movie

the biggest tragedy of the thor trilogy specifically is that they had idris elba there the whole time and 1) underused him and 2) COVERED HIS FACE WITH A HELMET THE WHOLE TIME smh

mama frigg just slayed a frost giant what a fuckin hero

lokis scheme is so convoluted like ??? he lets the frost giants into asgard to save odin from laufey and then destroys jotunheim and tries to kill thor to prove he would be a good king ?????

THOR JUST CASUALLY PLACING MJOLNIR ON LOKIS CHEST IS HANDS DOWN THE CHILLEST TAKE DOWN IN THE MCU

and it says a lot about kenneth branaghs determination to treat this average superhero movie like the fuckin bard thats its NOT played for laughs

REMEMBER WHEN THOR DESTROYED THE BIFROST MEANING THAT HE COULDNT RETURN TO EARTH AND THEN EVERYONE JUST IGNORED THOR FREQUENTLY TRAVELLING BETWEEN ASGARD AND EARTH WHENEVER HE WANTS

thor actually has some of the best one movie character development in the mcu 👍

SUCH A WEIRD MOVIE

like its not good, but its also not bad. it serves decently as an origin but since its sequel was so shite its hard to give it the credit tbh

also the utter wastage of Natalie Portman is one of the MCU's biggest crimes

it's still bizarre to me how large a role selvig had in the avengers lol

BONUS TWEET this "road to the avengers" featurette from 2010 and rdjr has TERRIBLE hair, mark ruffalo looks confused AF and chris evans is at peak dorito

okay, thats me until probably friday, where I bring you my reactions to love of my life peggy carter, guilty crush howard stark, baby bucky barnes and OF COURSE, the modern classic that is "star spangled man with a plan"

IT'S TIME FOR CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER AKA SARAH BEING THIRSTY ON MAIN

look away now if u want to avoid me dying over one of the most incredible women of all time, peggy carter (and by extension, hayley atwell)

sorry my laptop was having a Moment but PREPARE URSELVES FOR TERRIBLE CGI PRE SERUM STEVE

legit think I've only seen cap1 twice and i barely remember it im fully expecting to have unfairly judged its quality

A WILD DAVID BRADLEY APPEARS

BABY CGI STEVE THO IT'S SO BAD CHRIS EVANS' HEAD LOOKS SO WEIRD ON THE SKINNY BODY

BUCKY BARNES 2 THE RESCUE steve is so turned on by bucky in uniform

FORGOT JENNA COLEMAN IS BUCKYS DATE LMAO her american accent is weird

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ howard i wanna hate u but i cant

i forgot about toby jones !!!!!!!

PEGGY 😍😍😍 PUNCH THAT FUCKBOI

steve jumping on the grenade !! remember when the mcu was wholesome and not aggressive and depressing

"not a perfect soldier, but a good man"

ugh i admit it this movie is iconic until red skull shows up

lmao richard armitage

this movie has a stellar cast

would do unspeakable things for hayley atwell's jaw line

everyone wants to fuck steve when he gets out fuckin hell

steve using random objects as shields ❤❤❤❤

STAR SPANGLED MAN WIIIIIIIIIITH A PLAAAAAAAN

😂😂😂😂😂

this is The Most Iconic scene in the MCU, hands down

i need to rewind and watch it again

for ur viewing pleasure 😊😊

sensitive artist steve rogers !!!!

remember when Joss Whedon ruined Steve by making him a prissy goody two shoes bitch instead of a sassy badass motherfucker with a heart of gold

HE HAS THE AMERICAN FLAG ON HIS SHIELD ITS HARDLY COVERT

"yeah, i've knocked out adolf hitler over 200 times."

"I thought you were dead."
"..... I thought you were smaller."

bucky is the supportive cheerleader boyfriend everyone deserves

and i dont even ship it

(gimme bucky/tony all day long)

HEY NATALIE DORMER

how did i ever not like this film everyone is my type

BUCKY 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

so beautiful such a waste fuckin hydra justice for bucky barnes

hmmmmmmm i love peggy's trench coat a+++++ aesthetic

how useful would shuri's kinetic energy absorber stuff be for everyone in infinity war i hope she kits them all out lol

peggy takin time that they dont have to make out w steve is a fuckin mood

SOMEONE JUST GOT SHREDDED BY A PROPELLER

why do hydra weapons and tonys repulsors make the same sound effect when fired

m'gonna need a rain check on that dance

😭😭😭😭

god peggy is so good and its still a TRAVESTY they cancelled agent carter

explain why nick fury's fake 1940s hospital room is in the middle of times square

CHRISTOPHER MARKUS AND STEPHEN MCFEELY AREE CONSISTENTLY DOING THE BEST WORK IN THE MCU. NO ONE CAN WRITE STEVE ROGERS LIKE THEY CAN.

I AM READY TO ADMIT THAT CAPTAIN AMERICA IS A REALLY GOOD MARVEL MOVIE.

UM I JUST DISCOVERED IN THE CREDITS THAT /ALAN MENKEN/ WROTE AND PRODUCED "THE STAR SPANGLED MAN WITH A PLAN" AND THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

the post credit scene is literally a trailer for the avengers

not just an unsubtle advert. it's literally a literal trailer.

there are so many hype-y af avengers trailers and promos and stuff on these DVDs. avengers being marketed like THE CINEMATIC EVENT OF ALL TIME IN HISTORY FOR NOW AND FOREVER and now its like

wow. the avengers. six people. in one movie. groundbreaking.

okay, catch you at some point soon for "marvel's avengers assemble" straight up the worst movie name ever as we reminisce about the time before intricate cinematic crossover universes that you need a phd in to understand ever existed

maybe u thought id got bored or forgotten, but you were wrong. i have just been busy (watching hells kitchen) but now, avengers ASSemble *cue cool avengers theme*

wow it has been a LONG time since I saw this film

probably since my pre-age of ultron rewatch tbh (tho same w all phase 1 movies)

HELLO AGENT HILL PLS MARRY ME THANKS

"I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose."

still mad at 2012 tumblr and taylor swift for ruining tom hiddleston for the rest of us

every single loki line in this movie is utterly, incredibly quotable and perfectly delivered and this live tweet may just be me tweeting everything loki says

and being thirsty for agent hill 👍

as of right now, we are at war
.... what do we do

*cue avengers title card*

SHIT THAT'S SUCH A GOOD OPENING

nat beating up a bunch of people while tied to a chair is iconic

this whole movie is iconic

BRUCE MY PRECIOUS SON he looks so young and innocent awww why couldn't you LEAVE HIM ALONE, fury

didbuebso in literally just this first scene mark ruffalo puts a stamp of vulnerability on bruce banner that ed norton never could

".... i'm sorry, that was mean 😌😌"

steves biceps are bigger than my head

give yourself some credit. give yourself... 12% of the credit.

I forgot how many iconic quotes there are in this film?? I havent seen it in three years and yet can recite it at length

I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean... I was.... I was present... while you were unconscious.

okay but

how do people have a favourite avenger that ISN'T bruce banner

I need a distraction ......... and an eyeball

"In the end, you will always kneel."
"Not to men like you."
"There are no men like me."
"There are ALWAYS men like you."

"What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?"
"I'm not overly fond of what follows."

look joss whedon is trash and age of ultron is a shit movie but the dialogue in this film is everything

Shakespeare in the Park? 'Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?'

jfc its SO FUCKING QUOTABLE

as if no one is suspicious when loki doesnt try to run? like they left him for like 15 minutes all by himself wtf

that guys brain is a bagful of cats, you can smell crazy on him
have care how you speak. loki is beyond reason but he is of asgard and he is my brother
he killed eighty people in two days
... hes adopted

your work on anti-electron collisons is unparalleled and im a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster

look early unangsty science bros is wholesome and wonderful

tony and bruce just met and he invited him to hang in his personal lab 😍😍😍 love at first sight

tony is literally unashamedly unsubtley flirting with bruce okay how do people NOT SHIP THIS

the BEST line in this movie is buried in a lot of overlapping dialogue, when Bruce and Tony team up to BURN Steve Rogers w

"Captain America is on threat watch?"
"You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees?"

THREAT. THAT WAS A THREAT. I FEEL THREATENED.

i wish people paid more attention to steve and tonys conflict in avengers instead just shipping them

the genius billionaire playing philanthropist scene is SO well done in offering their different ideas of what they fight for, of sacrifice, and the very essence of heroism

steve saying tony isnt the guy to make a sacrifice play and always thinks about and fights for himself and tony saying steve is nothing more than the effects of the serum is like the fundamentals of their entire conflict condensed into one exchange

also rip angsty bruce ily baby u deserve better

"sorry kids you don't get to see my party trick after all"

there are so many incredible secondary antagonists in this film its a shame the chitauri robot henchman battle is actually quite plain

marvel has always struggled w secondary antagonists and its part of the reason this film is so good tbh

tonys anger at being referred to as a soldier 💔💔

lol it took me like two years to realise the A left in the stark tower logo was the avengers A rip

ENVER GJOKAJ IS A POLICE OFFICER IN THE BATTLE OF NEW YORK SCENE LMAO i mean its enver gjokaj he is in every joss whedon property but still lol

love them whedon cameos

I mean ...... he's also Daniel Sousa from Agent Carter 👍

that's my secret cap.... im always angry

that is THE most iconic moment in the MCU to date

that random extra who from one scene in avengers got cast in joss' spontaneous hanging w my pals post avengers filming pre avengers post production 11 day much ado about nothing movie

which INCIDENTALLY is excellent, with amy acker and alexis denisof as beatrice and benedick

gr8 version of my fave shakespeare play

the world security council are BIZARRE their immediate response is ..... nuke midtown manhattan

TONY AND BRUCE GETTING INTO TONY'S CAR TO DO SCIENCE TOGETHER ❤❤❤❤ BOYS

also, Maria Hill 👍

the avengers is such a good movie and so well done honestly but the MCU is in such a different place now ??? can you imagine in 2012 thinking THE AVENGERS was on a small scale

oh hai thanos

THEY PUT THANOS IN THE MID CREDITS SCENE OF THE AVENGERS (2012) THIS IS THE MOST DRAWN OUT CINEMATIC EVENT IN HISTORY

anyway there you go there's the avengers. it's cheesy, it's probably too long, and it now looking back seems very small compared to how big it seemed at the time but you know what it's a fucking great movie and easily the most quotable marvel movie ever

phase 1, ranked:

6) iron man 2
5) the incredible hulk
4) thor
3) captain america: the first avenger
2) iron man
1) the avengers

i'm open to disputes but also this ranking is correct and uncontroversial

SORRY IT'S BEEN A WHILE, BUT I'M BACK prepare yourself it's iron man 3 time

yooooooo LISTEN UP HERE'S A STORY ABOUT A LITTLE GUY THAT LIVES IN A BLUE WORLD

shoutout to yinsen who deserves better and tonys id badge saying "you know who i am"

ugh i forgot about shane blacks unnecessary need to set all of his movies at christmas

THIS WAS RELEASED IN APRIL

why is no one distressed by the fact that the US military has a private iron man suit

*stage whisper* HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THE WORM HOLE

ughfhdhsgh tony sweetheart 💔💔💔

ughhgh I have a lot of mixed feelings about Pepper and Tony and Pepper as Tony's support system and this movie physically hurts me okay

hes so deeply damaged by new york that he can't even fully acknowledge or understand it let alone pepper, and besides pepper has a right to live without being attacked by empty iron man suits

iron man 3 gets a bad deal tbh because it's quality is basically proportional to how much you care about tony

like if you deeply care about tony it goes from good to great

okay but.... tony taking on the mandarin because he feels he only has value as a saviour/ protector of the people 🙃🙃🙃

OKAY BUT TONY IS PRESUMED DEAD AND ???? NONE OF THE OTHER AVENGERS LIKE GET IN CONTACT WITH HIM OR PEPPER OR TRY TO HELP TAKE DOWN THE MANDARIN NOPE

"Is that all you got? Cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?"
"Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography."

MOM I NEED TO CALL YOU BACK SOMETHING MAGICAL IS HAPPENING

tony gently manipulating his fans to do stuff for him is my fave

this movie is really ableist w o w

is trevor slattery drinking red stripe

"Sir Laurence Oblivier" is an underrated pun okay

I FORGOT LINDEN ASHBY HAS LIKE TWO LINES IN THIS MOVIE

do american school buses actually stop outside everyones house

Reminder that the whole of Iron Man 3 is Tony sharing his trauma with Bruce 😊

OKAY THERE WE ARE see you in a few days to utterly eviscerate thor 2 which is a boring shitshow that the world could really do without

I put it off for as long as possible but if i dont watch it now im gonna get irredeemably behind so here goes...... thor 2..... at least it's on netflix lol

the dark elves look like low budget doctor who villains

imagine being the thor side characters (jane/erik/darcy as well as sif and the warriors three) and knowing that the only good thor movie is the one you got cut from

i dont even know thors dude squad's names

I FORGOT CHRIS O'DOWD WAS IN THIS FILM

why is a portal to a fuckin infinity stone in a shitty warehouse in london tho

literally nothing in this film makes sense

imagine having IDRIS ELBA as a hot mysterious dude in a cool helmet and wasting his potential this much tho

all of the good moments in this film are darcy being inappropriate

YOU CAN HEAR CHRISTOPHER ECCLESTONS NORTHERN ACCENT IN HIS DARK ELF LANGUAGE IM HOWLING

this conlang isnt developed enough for it to add anything to the worldbuilding, so the language difference is just frustrating and doesnt help the poor script at all

tom hiddleston and anthony hopkins are questioning the fuck outta their decisions to be a part of this film not even they can do much with this crappy dialogue

like say what u want about tom hiddleston but he acts circles around all the main marvel actors except probably rdjr

THE DARK ELVES ARE SO FORGETTABLE AND BORING

plus chris eccleston neither looks like himself nor not like himself leading to a confusing thing where your only reaction to malekith as a character is a hyperawareness that it is chris eccleston in a weird prosthetic

I CAN FEEL THE RIGHTEOUSNESS SURGING !!!!

lokis treachery is just ...... meh. like we get it. he's evil then he's good then he betrays thor then he's actually good then he's evil again, rinse and repeat

THIS ISN'T GOOD STORY TELLING

Thor gets on the tube at Charing Cross, the pervy lady tells him "this train, three stops" to get to Greenwich......... WHAT FUCKIN LINE IS THAT, MATE

CITYMAPPER SAYS YOU'RE TALKING SHIT, LADY

WHY WOULD THEY TRUST THE COLLECTOR WITH THE ETHER LMAO he's so clearly whacked sif did not think that through

ugh idk the best part of that film is when thor goes to janes house and hangs mjolnir on the coat hooks thats hilarious the rest of it is just badly executed sloppily plotted nonsense for the sake of fitting in another infinity stone

anyway, captain america: winter soldier next!! ive actually only seen it like two/three times and definitely remember that its brilliant more than i actually remember what happens so that'll be fun 👍 also, sam wilson, underrated legend, deserves better

HERE WE GO, ON UR LEFT

sam wilson is not only wholesome and wonderful and underrated af but also everything that steve needed to readjust to life 👍👍 good content top bros

part of the reason this film works so well is bc it gives its secret bad guys (sitwell, rumlow) some really kick ass moments at the start so u wanna like them

it's so good

"It's called compartmentalisation. Nobody spills the secrets because nobody knows them all."
"Except you."

aka the entire infinity war filming strategy lmao the russos taking their own advice

people think steve is humble and shit and yet he literally goes incognito to a museum exhibit about himself

WELL I COULDN'T LEAVE MY BEST GIRL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

it's still weird that steve gets with peggy's niece okay

BUCKY CATCHING STEVE'S SHIELD WITH HIS EVIL EYE MAKEUP 10/10

steve is smart and wildly wildly suspicious and people do not give him credit for his tactical and strategic mind (especially joss whedon lol) also this elevator scene is amazing and the shot of everyone on the floor is one of the best in the mcu

also joggers and a hoodie steve rogers is a Look god damn

"It's hard to find someone with shared life experiences."

EXCEPT BUCKY LOL

THE SHIELD HYDRA PLOT IS SO GOOD. HYDRA USING BUCKY TO KILL TONYS FATHER IS LIKE HALF THE PLOT THREADS IN THE MCU ALL DIRECTLY CONNECTED IN ONE GO.

why do they keep giving nat bad wigs

I FORGOT SENATOR STERN WAS HYDRA RIP

okay QUESTION that I may answer in due course.... besides name dropping for the sake of it, why is Stephen Strange listed as a threat to HYDRA? Like unless Doctor Strange takes place before CA:WS (which is possible but seems odd) he's just an arrogant but skilled surgeon lmao

also Steve and Nat don't know Stephen Strange so why would Sitwell specifically name him lol know ur audience

someone once set this Bucky fight scene to like a stupid song and it fit so well but I dont remember what it was 😔😔

omg nat throws like a tiny arc reactor at buckys arm to fuck with it using electromagnetism thats so cool

BUCKY ????
WHO THE HELL IS BUCKY

💔💔💔💔

ok im sorry but steve and bucky is pretty gay

"don't look at me. i do what he does, just slower"

sam is everything 10/10

"thank you, buck, but i can get by on my own"
"the thing is, you don't have to. im with you til the end of the line, pal"

I just made an embarrassing noise i forgot how sweet vintage 1940s bucky and steve were

oooh look its danny pudi i wonder which community actor is gonna be in infinity war (donald glover is mcu now so he doesnt count) (not that i think he will be in IW but)

the best thing about cap's powers is that he can easily jump from high places and land without dying like you'd never have to walk down stairs

how do marvel cast these films tho

robert redford is SO GOOD in this film

ON YOUR LEFT steve is such a troll and sam is so done

there's a LOT of foreshadowing to civil war in this film hmmm

SUCH A GOOD FILM but also lots of bits I "remembered" turns out are actually in civil war lol i haven't seen winter soldier in a lonngggg time (why didnt i rewatch it before civil war seems like an odd choice hmmm)

LMAO REMEMBER QUICKSILVER AND HOW BAD AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON'S ACCENT WAS

i actually really like elisabeth olsen as wanda but she hasnt had the screen time or characterisation of late 😔

now buckys gone incognito to a museum exhibit about himself lol they're peas in a pod

SEBASTIAN STAN IS SO GOOD LIKE HE IS BRINGING IT TO SUCH A CRUCIAL ROLE

and there we have cap 2. next up, gotg. maybe tomorrow bc i got behind while I was at home whoops

i remember going to see gotg in the cinema with kristin and jess and knowing literally nothing about it except that it was apparently hilarious and we were SO CONFUSED while watching the genuinely devastating opening scene like I THOUGHT THIS WAS A COMEDY

what the fuck does peter's grandad think when the kid has just like completely disappeared the very moment after his DAUGHTER DIED

I'm legit not convinced that the guardians and avengers will work properly at all..... the tone is so different?? Like i see it with thor but I'm worried they'll try to make it too funny w the others and it won't click

I FORGOT ABOUT EMMETT SCANLAN AWWW now i wanna watch in the flesh

hench chris pratt will never not be incredible and hilarious

I like that they are completely changing Thanos' appearance every film wtf he's like lavender purple in this

"Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast; I would catch it."

GROOT GROWING A FLOWER IN HIS HAND IS SO WHOLESOME

gamora is so good and also hot

He says that... that he's an a-hole, but he's not, and I'm quoting him here, one hundred percent a dick.

GROOTS PHOPHERESCENT SPORES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL RIP

WE. ARE. GROOT. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

idk like I love gotg but for some reason have seen it a legit ridiculous amount of times that I'm like infused by it any more??? whatever its good tho

question what happens to the ether when the orb explodes the collectors museum ??? is it okay

REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WAS PUMPED FOR AN AGE OF ULTRON POST CREDITS SCENE AND THEN INSTEAD THEY GAVE US..... HOWARD THE DUCK

age of ultron, or: tony is doing his best and is just trying to help OKAY hes TRYING to give all the avengers their lives back because he FEELS RESPONSIBLE even tho the avengers is the closest thing he has to a FAMILY

HE'S SACRIFICING HIS FAMILY BECAUSE HE WANTS THE OTHER AVNGERS TO BE HAPPY GIVE TONY A FUCKING BREAK 2K18

at least in death he'll be free from ur bullshit

UGH remember when joss whedon completely ruined HIS OWN CHARACTERISATION of every avenger 🙃

honestly the iron legion 100% sums up everything that tony doesnt understand about humanity and the like, literal concept of fear

Hulk turning back to Bruce is like such an A+++ piece of acting like the pain and anger and disappointment and Mark Ruffalo does an amazing job and is totally underappreciated in these films

CUE TONYS PTSD FUELLED NIGHTMARE SCENARIO OF HIS FRIENDS ALL DEAD AND DYING STEVE SAYING "YOU COULD HAVE SAVED US. WHY DIDN'T YOU DO MORE?"

BUT NO!! ONLY BUCKYS ACTIONS ARE PUT IN CONTEXT OF HIS MH!! TONY IS JUST RECKLESS AND ARROGANT!! this literally drove me off tumblr

"hes fast and shes weird"

i slate this movie constantly but there are some amazinggggg science bros moments

HOW DO PEOPLE WATCH AOU AND NOT SHIP TONY/BRUCE I DON'T??????? the MCU fandom is literally the worst

UGSHGSHSHH THAT WEIRD NAT BRUCE ROLEPLAY BAR THING IT'S SO FUCKING CRINGE WORTHY KILL ME

I think my problem with Steve in this film is you see him comfortable enough in a modern world with modern values in Winter Soldier and JW's script is all ~just got out the ice what is this world~ shtick which works in Avengers 1 but definitely does not work here

ALSO that bruce "oh no my face fell in ur titties" natasha moment is like the worst thing to ever happen in the mcu

"what dialect?"
"wakanada?? wa-wa-wakanda??"

hey look its ulysses klaue

UGHHH PEGGY CARTER LIGHT OF MY LIFE

the clint's home life interlude makes me VERY worried for clints wife and kids in IW like .... u know they gonna die and clint is going out for revenge

never forget that not being able to have children makes you a monster, courtesy of joss whedon 🙃🙃🙃

I COULD CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU AND NEVER CHANGE A SHADE

remember how good vision was in AOU and how pointless he was in CW

honestly give me rhodey to the rescue in every mcu movie

more rhodey pls

ATJ's accent is so horrible I'm glad Pietro dies lmao

Jeremy Renner should get more appreciation for how beefy his arms are

hawkeye deserves a fucking amazing arc in IW/Av4 because jeremy renner hasn't had enough to do in the MCU and he's so good and like justice for jeremy renner

must be so annoying for UEA students to not be able to access that cool building whenever the Avengers show up

NOW THANOS IS LIKE ELECTRIC BLUE LMAO HE CHANGES COLOUR EVERY TIME HE POPS UP rip that film was so average

also wtf it has a post-graphics credits scene but not an END end credit scene wtf marvel

SORRY im going straight into ant-man bc i got behind while i was home and there's less than two weeks til IW

1980s power suit peggy carter is Good Content and scott lang is wholesome and i love him

Luis lip-syncing his story about where his tip came from is such a golden bit of directing

and all the ant sized scott scenes are beautifully done like rip how BRILLIANT would this movie have been under edgar wright's direction

"Are you looking for my daddy? Well, I hope you don't catch him."

scotts daughter is a savage little fucker and i love her

the script for this is 60% science technobabble mumbo jumbo and i love it

SAM WILSON WHAT A SWEETHEART

"its really important to me that cap never knows about this"

ant-man is INCREDIBLY underrated ?? the writing, the direction, the action is slick and well executed even with a last minute change of director its so good

AAAAAND THAT'S PHASE 2, ranked:

6) thor: the dark world
5) avengers: age of ultron
4) iron man 3
3) ant-man
2) guardians of the galaxy
1) captain america: the winter soldier

this was tough bc im3 and ant-man are good for different reasons but this is what im going with

cannot believe its been two years since civil war came out ??? also cant believe there have been like six more movies since civil war swear a marvel movie comes out every three weeks these days

omg forgot about the big snapchat filter style location tags lmao i hate them

remember when they made THREE different crossbones pop vinyls for his ten minute stint in this film

YOUR PAL YOUR BUDDY YOUR BUCKY

TINY TONY hes so obnoxious and grumpy ugh this film is pure emotional pain

SAY SOMETHING. IF YOU DON'T YOU'LL REGRET IT.

alfre woodard is excellent in this scene and it's absolutely savage and plays into every one of tonys insecurities and GOD DAMN IT MY BOY NEEDS HELP

UGH FUCKING SECRETARY ROSS FUCK OFF this is an almost perfectly crafted film i will hear nothing bad said about it

personally offended by Ross saying Bruce's name out loud tbh

117 COUNTRIES WANNA SIGN IT. 117 SAM, AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE NO IT'S COOL WE GOT IT

i hope we get some strong allied sam/rhodey action in IW i feel they'd be good buds if they weren't fighting each other

STEVE ROGERS CARRYING PEGGY'S COFFIN GOODBYE

"Compromise where you can, but where can't, don't. ... Even when the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye and say no--you move."

T'CHALLAAAAAAA

"Two people in a room can get more done than a hundred." lmao hands up if u know people who could do with better understanding this

I like that steve rolls up 2 buckys place in full captain america regalia lmao have u heard of going incognito

my sexuality is bucky grabbing and flipping that motorbike

"... so you like cats?"

"OH REALLY you two knew each other?? he never mentioned that. maybe only a thousand times. ... GOD i hated you."

look the history and conflict between tony and steve is handled so well in avengers and civil war and SO BADLY in age of ultron

SEB STAN HAS ONE OF THE MOST CHALLENGING ROLES IN THIS FRANCHISE AND HIS WORK AND TALENT IS UNDERAPPRECIATED BY THE WORLD AT LARGE he was also phenom in i, tonya just saying

did we ever get to the bottom of natasha's "you could at least recognise me"?? is the assumption still KGB related

WHY WAS THERE A SECURITY CAMERA ON THIS RANDOM COUNTRY ROAD

PETER i almost forgot peter was in this film hes so sweet i love him but hes very bad at picking up tonys unsubtle hints

"When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen... they happen because of you."

THIS MOVIE HAS SUCH GOOD DIALOGUE OKAY

IT'S STILL WEIRD STEVE AND SHARON KISS SHES UR DEAD EX GIRLFRIEND'S NIECE

"I know you know a lot of super people so thinks for thanking of me!"

I adore Scott but it makes no sense that he'd risk jail AGAIN and being separated from Cassie for this nonsense fight he has literally no skin in

EVERYONE'S GOT A GIMMICK NOW

says the dude in a metal bird costume sam

"You couldn't have done that earlier?"
"I hate you."

i like that sam and bucky became best friends almost immediately im here for their bromance

give me at least five minutes in IW of awkward apologies between all the random people who hardly know each other beating each other up

peter and tchalla are literally nutting people they've NEVER MET

HEY GUYS YOU EVER SEE THAT REALLY OLD MOVIE, EMPIRE STRIKES BACK??
jesus tony how old is this guy
I dont know i didn't carbon date him???

RHODEY 💔💔💔 god there are like three or four utterly outstanding shots in this film and tony over rhodeys body is one of them

I love this film but Zemo's plot is SO convoluted and could have failed at any one of many points in its arc

Zemo's entire plan, from the bomb in Vienna, framing Bucky, the psychologist, the power outage, getting Steve Bucky and Tony to Siberia...... all to.... tear apart the avengers..... IT'S SO CONVOLUTED

People blame Tony for doing exactly what Zemo wants him to do but HE JUST FOUND OUT BUCKY ASSASSINATED HIS PARENTS WHO AS WE KNOW HE HAS A V COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP W BUT EVERYONE FORGETS HOW MUCH HE LOVED HIS MOM OKAY DUDE IS MESSED TF UP

I'm all for Steve trying to stop him, and for Bucky fighting back, but like Tony is angry and rightfully upset and yes Steve should try to stop him doing something he would regret but he LITERALLY JUST BEATS THE SHIT OUTTA HIM

WHEN TONY SAYS THE SHIELD DOESN'T BELONG TO STEVE AND HES DESPERATE TO UNDERMINE HIM IN ANY WAY AND ITS SO PETTY AND STEVE JUST /DROPS IT AND WALKS OFF/ my god

I'm so hyped for the aftermath of this in IW like I hope they don't cop out of the emotional and interpersonal consequences ??? gonna be so mad about a "well we have to come together to beat the big bad space guy" bullshit i wanna see ANGST and GROWTH

"We all need family. The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine."

honestly i used to find steve so annoying on principle but my respect and appreciation for him has grown exponentially in recent times

(stony shippers still need to get the fuck out tho) (give me bucky/tony ANYDAY)

really interested in how bucky and tchallas arcs intertwine in the next few years tbh?? gotta assume its gonna be a primary thread of post IW mcu

ANYWAY thats civil war done. SO GOOD. it's a struggle to see how they can make IW better, not juggling so much ??

SORRY I GOT BEHIND SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BIT OF A RUN THIS WEEK

haven't seen doctor strange since it came out in cinemas 18 months ago and just had to take the plastic wrapping off the DVD lmao what a weird feeling ?? anyway let's go

special effects in this are already too much. it's like inception dialled up so high that your brain cant actually process what you're seeing so it's just some whacky moving shapes, totally loses its effect

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH'S ACCENT IS TERRIBLE IT'S VALLEY GIRL CHEERLEADER STEREOTYPE AWFULNESS AND IS PAY BACK FOR MANY YEARS OF TERRIBLE FAKE BRITISH ACCENTS IN MOVIES

remember when we all thought benedict cumberbatch was an amazing actor and then it turned out he's a good actor who just plays the exact same role in literally everything hes ever done

fucking stephen is INTOLERABLE and i have a bone deep need for Shuri to put him in his fucking place in Infinity War tbh my girl will not put up with this BULLSHIT

everyone said this movie was great when it came out and i thought it was average but like.... so far its not even average its just bad everyone is annoying and stephen is an absolute cock with literally no redeeming qualities

im sorry tilda swinton isnt even GOOD in the role fdkossh its so fuckin gross

this astral void whatever drug trip sequence goes on for WAY too long and is just a worse version of the sub atomic sequence in ant-man

I'm literally just here for Chiwetel Ejiofor tbh once at work I saw him hanging out w Bill Nighy at his house thats p cool

someone tried really hard to put jokes in this script and like none of them are funny

idk i have a lot of concerns about how familiar marvel are expecting the audience to be with the mythology if infinity stones for IW?? bc like u don't want it dumbed down but it needs to be accessible to ppl without a phd in mcu studies lmao

what's with bad guys being like "AND THEN I WILL HAND A WEAPON TO AN UNKNOWN ALL POWERFUL DICTATOR WHO WILL ??? DO GOOD THINGS" are u listening 2 urself caecilius

christine palmer deserves a better story line than this weak ass pops up to be the love interest/save stephens life when convenient

the inception style special effects are cool but ..... they just dont add anything??? its way too hard to take in so you can't actually appreciate what you're looking at like you can in inception lmao

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DRAMATIC LONG ASS MONOLOGUES

somehow everyones performance in this film is wasted

I mean full respect to Stephen for being self aware enough to know the prospect of being stuck with him for eternity would make even the most evil magic dictator give up

also respect to dormammu for repeatedly killing Stephen Strange, relatable content, i hope he dies in IW hes annoying af

you just KNOW there's gonna be an unnecessary ego science-off between tony and stephen..... why not give us COLLABORATIVE SCIENCE between tony and bruce and shuri and peter

OMG I HOPE SHURI MEETS PETER THEY'D BE SUCH GOOD SCIENCE BUDS

hopefully thanos kills stephen to get the time stone, the first death of the revolution

i will cheer from my seat

that was boring and not very good sorry bout it

I've noticed the post credit scenes are getting increasingly ??? plot heavy?? like they are essentially deleted scenes from the next movie

oh thats why i had it in my head mordo was evil huh anyway that was a v e r a g e at best sighhhhh the climax is Appalling

next up, gotg 2, absolute proof that even after all this time marvel can still ruin an almost perfect thing with a lazy and contrived sequel for no discernable reason 🙃

okay I'm rlly tired so I might end up finishing this in the morning but ah well

ready for the third in four marvel movie where they use the same de-aging tech lol

the opening sequence with the enormous elaborate and expensive fight scene going on in the background while tiny groot dances to ELO is A M A Z I N G

idk all the jokes are like.... easy funny?? its all poop jokes and surface level humour

I CAN STILL HEAR YOU SAYIN YOU WOULD NEVER BREAK THE CHAIN what a banger

TAAAAASEEEEERFAAAACEEEEE!!! IT'S METAPHORICAL

groot repeatedly bringing back random fucking objects is so funny

nah okay im too tired im gonna finish this in the morning I can feel myself nodding off 😔 see u in the am, folks

I'M BACK AFTER 10 HOURS SLEEP lets do this

why is gamora wearing futuristic space high heels that seems impractical

the cinematography and colour palette on ego is stunning this film is beautifully designed

I'M GONNA MAKE SOME WEIRD SHIT

YO YONDU... DO YOU HAVE ANY TAPE

why does nebula fall faster than gamora when the difference in their surface areas is negligible

does no one on earth remark on the big blue blob absorbing half of missouri?? do we care about the south so little

guardians of the galaxy 1 is the only film in the mcu that benefits from the infinity stone macguffin and honestly its LOST without it

It's called a Zune. It's what everyone's listening to on Earth these days. Its got three hundred songs on it.

.... three HUNDRED?

was that hela

apparently it's not hela its just a random woman who looks EXACTLY like hela why bother ??

is this the one that has twenty six thousand post credit scenes

ive watched spiderman homecoming VERY recently but hey im committing and this is the home stretch now guys ❤❤

tony stark funding the 'department for damage control' feels like a self fulfilling prophecy lmao

DIDBSISBSIS WHY IS THIS SET EIGHT YEARS AFTER THE AVENGERS I HATE THIS??? DID AVENGERS NOT TAKE PLACE IN 2012? OR IS THIS FILM WEIRDLY SET IN THE FUTURE

peters lil home made vid is hilarious i love that he's vlogging MID BATTLE tom holland is so good

conspiracy theory: when martin starr's cameo in the incredible hulk as a student at culver graduated, he became a teacher and now teaches peter 👍

"Today, my good friend... your gym teacher, will be conducting the Captain America challenge!"
"Pretty sure this guy is a war criminal now but I have to show you these videos, it's required by the state."

zendaya is everything tbh

DUDE IS SELLING DONALD GLOVER A GUN MADE FROM ULTRON'S ARM

and this ferris bueller reference literally lampshaded by him running past someone /watching ferris bueller/

as soon as spider man shows up in dc it has to be blindingly obvious to everyone involved that it is peter

"Take it from a guy who was frozen for sixty five years ... the only way to be cool is to follow the rules."

chris evans had so much fun filming these

"I just wanted to be like you!"
"Well, I wanted you to be BETTER!"

😭😭😭😭

FINALLY PEPPER RETURNS TO THE MCU at long last

ugh that's such a wonderful film, and perfectly balanced between solo exploits and existing comfortably in a shared universe 👍 plus tom holland is a perfect peter parker

thor: ragnarok is so conflicting bc like ... thor's character completely changes from all the other movies and its disconcerting but also .... it's an entertaining film so like .... do i let the gas leak year personality change slide ???

everyone in the cinema: ?? is that matt damon

how do the asgardians not realise that isn't odin lmao what

also ANTHONY HOPKINS AS LOKI AS ODIN IS INCREDIBLE LMAO

Loki's black suit with black shirt and black tie Midgard outfit is 10/10 and Benedict Cumberbatch's terrible fake American accent sounds way worse next to Chris Hemsworth's solid fake English one (and Tom Hiddleston's v smooth lovely real English accent)

I HAVE BEEN FALLING FOR THIRTY MINUTES

I will miss Loki when he inevitably gets splatted by Thanos in the opening act of Infinity War

mad respect for hela for killing two of the warriors three immediately because they are pointless and I literally dont know their names so whats the point

and there goes the third warrior dude (where is sif in this film I know she's in a couple of agents of shield episodes is she on earth?????)

"I tried to start a revolution but didn't print enough pamphlets, so no-one turned up, except for my mum and her boyfriend, who I hate."

tag urself

honestly korg is the highlight of this film and everything is made funnier by the fact thats basically taika waititi's real voice

i rlly like the slight redesign of the hulk cgi for this film it looks so much better than in age of ultron

totally unnecessary hulk butt alert

BRUCE WEARING TONY'S CLOTHES AND ASKING IF TONY IS THERE SCIENCE BROS CONFIRMED

HOW MANY PHDS DOES HULK HAVE? ZERO. HOW MANY PHDS DOES BANNER HAVE? SEVEN!

I like that this film is self aware about how predictable Loki's betrayals are 😂

valkyrie is so good and tessa thompson is a hero

side note: im v down for heimdall is/has the soul stone theory if only bc idris elba needs more screen time dude is FINE

I actually enjoyed that way more the second time round ?? The first time I found it way too joke-heavy and felt not enough happened but ... strong performances, entertaining, good script and Taika Waititi lol it's a solid entry

look loki has the tessaract, thanos' big ass ship appears in this end credit scene, loki has already lost thanos the mind stone in an attempt to get him the space stone... assuming IW picks up where ragnarok left off, I really don't think loki is going to survive long lmao

prepare urself for tom hiddleston to officially become 100% irrelevant in modern society

JUST ONE LEFT GUYS CANT BELIEVE IN 48 HOURS TIME I WILL BE WATCHING AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR AND THIS TWITTER FEED HORROR SHOW WILL BE OVER

Okay we're T-24 hours out from the biggest event in cinema history, I've found a not totally horrible copy of Black Panther, and this time tomorrow your feeds will be free from inane comments on a decade's worth of Marvel movies. In the meantime... Wakanda forever. Let's go.

I could watch Sterling K Brown all day he's so good in literally everything he touches

shuri is everything and i need her and peter to become the next generation of science bros thanks

I really like Killmonger's shearling denim jacket it's a Look

shuri raising her hand to challenge for the throne ❤❤❤ what a sweetheart i love her

M'BAKU MORE LIKE MMMMMMMMM'BAKU everyone in this film is so fine its actually a joke

this takes place immediately after CW but like do the wakandans know that he like got involved in a petty internal skirmish with the avengers for a bit before he went home

like i feel nakia would be like ???? dude

WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOSE
you don't like my royal sandals?

said it before will say it again, i hope shuri kits everyone out with kinetic energy absorbing suits bc that shit would be handy lmao

the subtitles for the non english dialogue are in spanish rip no idea whats going on

"IT'S A VIBRANIUM CAR, YOU IDIOTS. THE BULLETS WON'T PENETRATE."

everett ross is SUCH an idiot it's legit embarrassing

"Great! Another broken white boy for us to fix."

Killmonger's ancestral plane scene is devastating tbh

... I'm kidding! We are vegetarians.

hate 2 say this bc i love him but daniel kaluuya is the weak point of this movie and his character doesnt really make sense

GOD black panther is so good. a near perfectly crafted movie with consistent internal logic and a proper fucking villain 👍

THERE WE GO. WE DID IT GUYS. WE MADE IT. this time tomorrow ill be half way through IW and like maybe crying who knows ??? im ready and also not ready at all

first, phase 3 (so far) ranked:

6) doctor strange
5) guardians of the galaxy vol. 2
4) thor: ragnarok
3) spider-man: homecoming
2) captain america: civil war
1) black panther

it's been fun, guys

BONUS as i promised many weeks back, my Definitive Ranking is as follows:

OKAY GUYS IT'S THE BIG ONE. THANKS FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME. YOU'RE SURPRISINGLY TOLERANT/SUPPORTIVE ❤ SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE

OH MY FUCKING SWEET MTOEHRFUCKI NG MOTHRR OF JESUS

GET YOUR ASS TO THE CINEMA

I'M NOT SAYING IT'S THE BEST MARVEL FILM. IT'S PROBABLY NOT. BUT THE SCALE OF IT IS LITERALLY OUT OF THIS WORLD AND IT WILL LITERALLY HAVE YOU TOO FUCKED UP TO EVEN CRY

MVPs: RDJR as ever, Tom Holland, Zoe Saldana
Special mention: Peter Dinklage 👍

it's the moment you've all not been waiting for .... @threadreaderapp do ur thing and unroll ❤

hey guys,,,,, this is not a drill

prepare to mute ur feeds (at least I'm doing it at night this time)

loki stans ruined loki for me too but like a) tom hiddleston is so fucking good and b) loki is such a key, wonderful part of this universe he adds so much its quite sad we won't get any more of his shit

oh needless to say there will be spoilers, if u somehow dont know the twists of this movie wow???? but also thats on you

thanos fucking RAILING into the hulk is such a moment and mark ruffalos mocap work in this franchise (particularly in avengers 1 and ragnarok) is deeply underrated

remember that HEIMDALL IS THE SOUL STONE theory that gets killed off literally within three minutes of this movie starting?????? lol

second o nly to the "tony is the soul stone" theory???? weird

when loki says "odins son" and looks at thor and he's all hot and sad !!!! beautiful sad boys !!!!

SCIENCE BROS REUNION!!!! WITH BONUS PEPPER POTTS!!!! TRUE TOP LEVEL CONTENT

as these movies go on, mark ruffalo gets more and more italian and i love it

"broke up? like... like a band?? like the beatles?"

also,,,, the way bruce says "tony" 😌 why dont people ship this, i literally do not and will not ever understand why this ship is so tiny

"dude you're embarrassing me in front of the wizards"

they just have the best dynamic, they're buddies who respect each other, their "sexual tension" isnt just active dislike *coughSTONYcough*

"he's from space, he came here to steal a necklace from a wizard"

LOOK PROTECT PETER AND TONY OK

when FRIDAY says "boss, we're losing her" and Tony's face is just,,,, heartbroken, resigned, knowing that he would never be able to give her the kind of life she deserves

I adore Mantis in this movie she has so many incredible moments,,, honestly shoutout to the writers for making some minor characters great moments

ive heard "It's like a pirate had a baby with an angel." so many times and its still funny, Dave Bautista's delivery is IMPECCABLE

some of the groupings in this film are GENIUS, like with all respect to Chris Hemsworth, taking the leap to let him carry an entire segment himself with just two (admittedly fan fave) CG characters before Ragnarok was a Risk that definitely paid off

THE FUNNIEST PART OF THIS MOVIE 10/10 SCOTLAND REALNESS

my sexual orientation is beard!steve catching that spear and stepping dramatically out of the shadows 👍

the font choice for the location tags in this movie are SO MUCH BETTER than that weird snapchat filter bullshit they pulled in civil war lmao

the reality stone is an A+++ plot device bc u still get to see some cool fights but Thanos is still bossing it effortlessly

STEVE'S UNIFORM WITH ALL THE AMERICAN SHIT RIPPED OFF 👍👍👍

iconic new duos in this movie: Rhodey and Sam, Natasha and Okoye, Tony and Stephen, Thor and Rocket, Steve and T'Challa, Bruce and Shuri

Peter's "old movies" gag will continue to be hilarious and so so real

"UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN YOUR LIFE, I DONT WORK FOR YOU."

SO FUCKING SAVAGEEEEEEE THIS IS THE HARSHEST BURN IN THE ENTIRE MCU POOR TONY BUT ALSO TRUE BASICALLY

do u ever stop and think about how ridiculous the cast of this franchise is

they got BENECIO DEL TORO to come in to get thrown in a box, yell magnificent a few times and wave,,,

"You speak Groot?"
"Yes, they taught it on Asgard, it was an elective."

this entire rocket and thor scene is wonderful, amazing writing and performance and like, GIVING ROCKET AND THOR SPACE TO B R I N G I T

I know it has mixed responses but I stand by my opinion that Peter Dinklage as Eitri the Dwarf is easily a good enough reveal to warrant the frankly ludicrous amount of time spent on Nidavellir

"What master do you serve?"
"What master do I serve? What am I meant to say, Jesus?"

kick names....... take ass

protect mantis !!!!

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS WEIRD RED SKULL BIT LMAOOOOOOO I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS EXISTS I SWEAR IT HAS LITERALLY NO PURPOSE

I think if they bring Gamora back it'll make this whole movie pointless without any stakes at all, but also on the flip side who the fuck wants to see more Guardians movies without Gamora

WHEN RHODEY TROLLS BRUCE INTO BOWING, ICONIC

Steve and Bucky are hardly in this movie and like,,, sorry but good

ok maybe i have changed my mind this does go on for a long ass time while there's cool giant fights going on in both other arcs

https://twitter.com/gsazza/status/1081351770931122176?s=19

M'BAKU 😍😍😍

groot making a really aesthetic rustic twisted wood handle for thors axe is friendship goals

quill is such a piece of shit ,,,, u had one job, asshole

"By the way, this is a friend of mine, Tree."
"I am Groot!"
"... I am Steve Rogers."

the bruce/hulk dynamic is incredible and mark ruffalo is underrated and undervalued by the fans, he constantly gives 12/10 performances and never gets the acclaim he deserves, mark ruffalo is everything and I hope he's having a nice day

also the "end" of this film starts with like an hour left, like it has a start and an end and very very little middle

SWEAR TO GOD WHEN TONY GOT STABBED I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT FOR HIM AND HONESTLY IT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN FOR NARRATIVE REASONS BUT GO OFF I GUESS

tony fighting even as the suit dissolves around him is so Angsty tho, like everyone tells him all he has is the suit, people actually believe that, like his only value is this metal he built, but it's not true because he will fight a fucking alien with his BARE HANDS if he has to

also the line "we're in the endgame now" is the worst bit of dialogue in this film, and its a terrible title for avengers 4, get real bitch

omg vision whispers "I love you" to wanda before she kills him, that's sad

Thor is such a dumbass like his ego and pride causes the death of HALF OF CIVILISATION bc he has to tell thanos he won,,,, couldn't axe him in the head and cause immediate death, nope, had to rub it in, arrogant PRICK, if all the avengers were women this wouldn't happen

if all the avengers were women they woulda got the gauntlet of thanos on titan lbr, fuck quill

(tbh literally fuck quill, hes still hot ok) (same w thor)

ITS ANGST TIME

PETER DYING IN TONY'S ARMS IS THE WORST THING EVER I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THJS, TONYS UTTER DRVASTATION, HE GOT THIS FUCKING KID INVOVLED, ITS HIS FAULT, HE CANT LIVE WITH HIMSELF, KTS TOO MUCH, HELP TONY

stupid question but if he's killing half the life in the universe why dont half the trees die, send tweet

ANYWAY RIP FOR NOW BUCKY, TCHALLA, ROCKET, GROOT, WANDA, SAM, MANTIS, DRAX, QUILL, STEPHEN, AND PETER

that felt shorter and like less happened than i remember, i think it's the almost complete lack of middle like u get some dangerous opening stuff, that tiny bit of nebula/gamora/vormir/soul stone middle, and then lots of fighty ending

and like i still think it's a good movie and the best this movie could have been made but,,, like 90% of the entertainment is in the shock factor, once you lose that there's really not that much left

so many characters mean there's not character development as much as there's an effort to keep everyone in character, which tbh with a cast this size is no mean feat in itself, I just ??? no idea whats gonna happen with Endgame

and the directors have already said they're worried its not gonna live up to IW, which...... like i need some key players to Actually Die,,, not side characters or people who already have their next movie in production so of course they're not dead lmao

tchalla: *dies*
the worldwide box office: if you come back to life ill give you 1.3 billion dollars
tchalla: sup its time for cat life number 2

I've seen it four times now I still stayed for the end credits scene lmao

as I'm by myself I'll do the post post-credit scene dialogue myself:
- haha was that really worth staying for
- wait who were those two people again
- oh my god did they just call wonder woman???

THATS IT FOLKS i promised it and i finally did it whether u wanted it or not, now u know all my thoughts on infinity war which was mainly quotes and me thirsting over Chris Hemsworth, good night sweet rabbit