Thread. If you were moved by this essay of mine about how we tear down women in public, here are some simple ways you can make a difference. longreads.com/2018/03/28/who… Firstly, most importantly: if you see this sort of mob trashing happening, don’t be part of it. >
> If there’s a woman in your social, professional and political circles who everyone seems to hate, exclude or make fun of for reasons you can’t easily explain, ask yourself privately what’s really going on there. >
> Don’t assume that just because someone has survived years of trashing and trolling and is still around that means she is unaffected, that she does not need your help or support. It is never easy, and it is more exhausting as the years go on.
>Stand up for her in public and in private. Support her professionally. Understand that she may be exhausted and suspicious. Make space for the effects of what has happened to her.
> If you find yourself getting mean or obsessive about one particular woman- whether or not you know her- ask yourself what that’s doing for you. Are you enjoying making her life a little more miserable? If so, that’s toxic for you, as well as for her.
>Remember that women in the public eye are real people. Not symbols. Not whipping-girls for your emotions. Real people trying to live their lives and do their jobs, just like you. Treat them accordingly, and with respect, even when they mess up in good faith.
>Remember that that girl you think you hate is working just as hard as you are, that she is just as human as you are, that she is dealing with all the shit you do with while having to deal, on top of it all, with relentless abuse, trolling trashing.
>And if you think you’ve behaved less than honourably in the past? Apologise. In private is great, in public is better. Apologies matter. They set an example. I’d certainly appreciate one or two.
