Thread by @PennyRed

How to write a book, by Laurie Penny aged 31 3/4:
1. Write a plan and some chapters on an enormous urgent topic that you care about a whole lot.
2. Persuade publishers to buy this book.
3. Build a small fort of other people’s books. Retreat inside for 3 months. >

4.At the critical research stage, have eye surgery that leaves you confused and functionally blind for six weeks.
5. Write 3000 words of theory per week alongside your other job. Lose the ability to relate to humans whilst writing about human relationships.

6. Submit 60,000 words that made sense in your head.
7. Realise it makes no sense outside your head. Take manuscript, turn it into soup, restructure whole thing from the beginning.
8. Lose your research notes when your laptop is stolen. Start new research file.
9. Remember sleep?

10. Realise you now have 120,000 words that are slowly coming into focus but the squinting is making your head hurt.
11. Regret decision to unwind by watching the Handmaid’s Tale.
12. Two weeks before submission, suddenly realise what the whole thing is ACTUALLY about.

13. Panic. What the hell have you done?
14. Put the kettle on. Deep breaths.
15. Look at manuscript again. What stone cold genius wrote this?
16. Consider donating brain to science. If this can be done right away it would save you having to finish the book.
17. Panic again.

18. Curse the past iteration of yourself that wrote notes like ‘[[put that funny bit in here]]’.
19. Apologise to your partners, family, editors and deities.
20. One week before submission, take break to write entirely new 6,000 word book pitch in 24 hours.
21. Nap.

22. Realise book is fine.
23. Make list on Twitter.
24. Finish book, fool. (In progress)