20ish yo man, apparently traveling alone, sits in the middle seat of the exit row on the plane where I am sitting in the window seat
Him: Excuse me, can I have the window?
Me: No, it’s the seat I reserved.
Him: But I want it.
Me:..
Him:..
Me:😳
Me: As I tell my kids, I said no.
Him: Excuse me, can I have the window?
Me: No, it’s the seat I reserved.
Him: But I want it.
Me:..
Him:..
Me:😳
Me: As I tell my kids, I said no.
Now he and the trying too hard to be Don Draper with a bad comb over, scuffed shoes and cuff linked shirt under an ill fitting suit wearing “gentleman” seated in the aisle are trying to cajole the FA into two 1st class upgrades (there are no open seats on oversold flight) 1/2
2/2 So now they are discussing how the movements in their Invicta watches are actually the same as those in the Rolex and Tag Hauers they are obvious knock offs of b/c they are “automatics” which are apparently all the same “not quartz”. God, I hope I never forget my 🎧 again!
Update: So Don got up, took off his suit coat, literally balled it up, and opened the overhead bin three rows ahead. He puts the coat in, then pulls out his bag, dumping the aforementioned coat on some poor lady’s head. He brings his computer back. 1/2
2/2 He is having trouble connecting to the internet (apparently he thought it was free and then was upset b/c he paid for his phone not laptop - tbh, he has a point). I’d offer to help, but I’m afraid that would lead to him trying to sell me either a used car or a timeshare.
OMG I was joking, but he opened his computer (he finally got connected) and is now looking at lead sheets and talking points for timeshare sales. #donotmakeeyecontact #nosmalltalk
Update: It continues. Now Don wants to know if the FA can “change the plane” of his next flight (he just realized he will be on a regional jet going to TN). He wasn’t kidding. FA was as dumbfounded as I was in the original tweet of this thread. #surewecandothat #wantfirstclasstoo
I almost want to stick around when we land and he realizes that we’re deplaning in term C and most regional jets leave from term E (which isn’t close). This is becoming amusing. It’s all I can do not to egg him on. “Hey buddy, I’ve seen them taxi over to pick up passengers...”
UPDATE: Awesome. Window seat wanting Man Child has reintroduced himself into my purgatory flight. Am I allow to unbuckle and stand up violently quickly to dissuade him from leaning completely over me to look out the window? I’m seriously considering it if he does it again!
UPDATE: I didn’t stand up quickly, but I may have dropped my phone and turned to pick it up. His head literally butted into my back. Do you need to presoak hair grease stains?
Landing soon, thank God. Thanks to everyone flying Absurd Air w/me today. This has been a ridiculous flight, I can only imagine what the poor flight attendants thought of it. Final thought: I’ll bet $50 that one of them makes an obnoxious pass at a FA after we land. Any takers?
Too late, Don asked one of the FAs if she’d “like to use her free travel” to go w/him to TN. He is apparently selling land for vacation homes on a lake (not timeshares, I was wrong) & can show her a “nice time”. She politely declined. I need a shower (I assume she feels the same)
We are on the ground, waiting to taxi to the gate. I usually don’t mind travel, but today I can. not. wait. to get off this plane. (And I think my tongue is bleeding from biting it so hard.)
