I've had this convo with many people-esp this past week-so I'm putting it here too. If you're questioning your gender, your pronouns, your presentation: The act of questioning, of exploring, of asking folks to be with you while you experiment is NOT taking up/demanding space
So often I witness people feel like they can't allow themselves the brain space (and especially the physical space) to ask for new names, new pronouns, to come out, or to even CONSIDER it--because by doing so it feels like you're taking something away from someone else.
And this is all under some guise that by questioning they are taking up some sort of limited precious space from others, maybe others who have it rougher or others who've been out for longer or others who experience dysphoria or others who know 100% who/what they are
And to this I just wanna say: There is no ~space~ to take up, the space of gender, exploring our gender, of trying out new pronouns, coming out, changing our minds or questioning, that's not limited space. It's not in limited supply! There IS NO SCARCITY OF SPACE.
It's not like theres only enough space for X amount of people to identity X amount of ways. I think this space you're worried about is a lot like love, there's the possibility of it being abundant and endless. We’re in an ocean for crying out loud, not a lake.
Don’t let capitalistic scarcity dictate you exploring your identity. YOLO. We all can exist here-without stepping over each other. And your community WANTS to support you-if you'd just be open and honest and let them.
And I guess if you feel like you're friends/family won't be supportive, then hi, welcome to your new and temporary community The Internet. We'll be here for you until you find a strong IRL physical community. 😘
annnndddd if you're nervous that others won't be able to wrap their head around NB pronouns, I made them a book that you can pre-order now: simonandschuster.com/books/A-Quick-…
