Profile picture
NPR
@NPR
, 12 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Happy #FathersDay! And, since we know how much you love our #dadjokes, we're at it again this year!

Share yours with us 👇
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
"Dad, I'm hungry."

"Hello, hungry. I'm dad."
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable.
What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Bison!
Did you think we were done with the #dadjokes? Nope!

How does NASA put together a party? They planet.
How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate dinner before it was cool.

**Shares this article with family group chat** n.pr/2IkRglt
Missing some Tweet in this thread?
You can try to force a refresh.

Like this thread? Get email updates or save it to PDF!

Subscribe to NPR
Profile picture

Get real-time email alerts when new unrolls are available from this author!

This content may be removed anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime, convert it as a PDF, save and print for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video

1) Follow Thread Reader App on Twitter so you can easily mention us!

2) Go to a Twitter thread (series of Tweets by the same owner) and mention us with a keyword "unroll" @threadreaderapp unroll

You can practice here first or read more on our help page!

Related hashtags

#FathersDay #dadjokes

More from @NPR see all

Profile picture
NPR
@NPR
1/ This is the story about a cold case at the center of the civil rights movement, how a murder rippled through a community and took on a life of its own. npr.org/whitelies
2/ It starts on what became known as Bloody Sunday. March 7, 1965: hundreds of African-Americans gathered in Selma to march to Montgomery and demand the right to vote. They made it only a few blocks before white troopers stopped them.
3/ Joanne Bland was 11 years old when she marched on the bridge that day.
Read 10 tweets
Profile picture
NPR
@NPR
Follow along as NPR's reporters and editors annotate key sections of the #MuellerReport: n.pr/2VVw4ae
The special counsel's office addressed the question of whether members of the Trump campaign "coordinat[ed]" with Russian election interference activities.

What does "coordination" actually mean in this case?
The investigation was exhaustive, the office says, but it could only include evidence it could access.

The report indicates that some individuals associated with the Trump campaign "deleted relevant communications."
Read 7 tweets
Profile picture
NPR
@NPR
#BREAKING: Attorney General Barr has released a redacted version of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report summarizing his investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election.

Read it here: n.pr/2DlwcZn
The #MuellerReport on the question of obstruction of justice:
The report details 10 instances of President Trump’s behavior that were investigated for obstruction, including directing the former White House counsel to instruct DOJ to remove Mueller — which was not carried out. n.pr/2DoPlcJ
Read 6 tweets

Related threads

Profile picture
Owen Strachan
@ostrachan
In personal terms, nothing is more needful in the church or society than this: raising up godly fathers.

Being a father through marriage is challenging, exhausting, costly--and worth it all.

Today, when men are struggling greatly, let us recommit to training sons to be fathers.
The sense of adventure many men have is meant, in a big way, for marriage, family, and fatherhood.

This is the great task before many of us: to love one wife like Christ, to raise godly children, to build a happy family, to leave everything on the field when we die.

#FathersDay
May we be men who lead continually, love generously, repent regularly, die to self daily, contend convictionally, laugh loudly, rejoice in Christ unceasingly, protect sacrificially, provide unfailingly...

and then, when life ebbs, die well, leaving it all on the field.

#Dads
Read 3 tweets
Profile picture
btsrabbithole 🌙☀ forever ever ever ever..
@btsrabbithole
thread of my experience at @BTS_twt 's #BTSInLondonPart2 #BTSatWembley_D2 #BTSSpeakYourselfTour 💜 :
warning: rip headphone users. you can hear me screaming and singing in every video and idk if i should be more proud or embarassed lol -last time i did the same thing but being in the pit you could barely hear me
also i filmed a bit more than last time since it wasn't my first time seeing them! but i filmed less of the songs that weren't in the last setlist. but pls don't expect anything of good quality, i recorded with my left hand while dancing and jumping just to keep some memories!!💃
Read 70 tweets
Profile picture
ellie 🐣🍋
@taintedsuns
taekook au where prince taehyung is born with a gift and a curse—everything he touches turns to gold. it brings his kingdom eternal wealth, but in turn, he will never know the warmth of physical affection. that is, until he meets newly appointed captain of guards, jeon jeongguk.
the moment taehyung was born, the news of his gift spread like wildfire throughout the kingdom. it was a wondrous gift from heaven, they said, here to save the kingdom from falling into poverty after the dark plague.
everything taehyung touched turned into gold—his toys, his blanket, everything except for food and water.

instantly, the kingdom boomed in its wealth, merchants from all across the oceans travelling to the kingdom to witness this amazing miracle.
Read 339 tweets
Profile picture
FaceTheCuban© SirLRO🎈{Interactive}
@FaceTheCuban
...#Positivity is in each & everyone of us. Let it flow more often, makes a better day. #SirLRO
...#Positivity ~none said it was easy, all you have to do is one step at a time. I know you can, keep going. #SirLRO
~ #Positivity there is no need for deprecating others with words, when it calls for~there is a need for compassion, it’s in you, #SirLRO
Read 246 tweets
Profile picture
Joe Luger 🇺🇸
@WesternMastery
This is the first #fathersday without my dad, and although it's difficult to discuss, I will talk about it anyway.

Sometimes you learn more when a person isn't around than when they're still alive and kicking.
My dad lived a great life. When he was young, he was athletic, active, and had a quirky set of humor. He joined a band in his late teens and his twenties, he lifted weights religiously, he made many great friendships, and he got all the girls he wanted.
Unfortunately, after he met my mom and married her, he started to slip up with his health. He stopped eating right, started lifting less, and eventually became overweight and a type 2 diabetic.
Read 20 tweets
Profile picture
5'7'' Black Male
@absurdistwords
To white America, "Family values" only apply to white families.

The bond between white children and white parents is sacrosanct and must be protected at all costs.

The bond between Black and Brown parents and their children is negotiable at BEST.

It has always been this way.
White people have historically separated Black and Brown people from their children with a level of ethical qualm generally reserved for people giving out a litter of kittens.
The side effect of denying the humanity of nonwhite people is that no regard whatsoever has ever been given to the sanctity or importance of those family bonds.

Ripping a wailing Black or Brown child from its mother's arms has always just been business.

Still is.
Read 9 tweets

Trending hashtags

#JustSaying #HappyMemorialDay2019 #HUSH #NutShellReport #WILD #Pride #TORPEDO #Gratitude #InspirationalQuotes #Else #IPHONEx #Wow #TheLastAmericanVagabond #dazzles #Part2 #BreakingNews #important #bankrecords #feelings #LouisICart #dignity #EmpowerYourself #Legendary #panic #EarthDay
Follow Us on Twitter!

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just three indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3.00/month or $30.00/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!