Thread by @iamthe_eagle

THE PYGMY.

Joe was incredibly handsome. He mastered the antics of seduction. His charming looks and funny gesture attracted women to him. His 6-figure salary was an added advantage.
Getting girls to his bed was much easier but he had a major setback. His small DICK.

Issa thread

Joe was a sex addict. In addition to his flaw he had no Idea on the art of foreplay and oral sex.

Sex was always a disappointment.

Joe understood his flaw. To balance his sex game he had to perfect his foreplay.
With time he mastered the art.
His head game made his flings orgasm multiple times.

But whenever it was time for the main occasion, this was the reaction he got.

Despite his flaw, he never stopped chasing women.
On one of his hunting expeditions he met Cynthia at a party with a group of girls.

Damn! She was Hot! blessed with a charming beauty, hips and a backside to die for, not to talk of boobs that made Mount Kilimanjaro look like a valley.

I must get on this, he thought to himself.
There was a vacant seat on their table. He approached them.
“Hey ladies, would you mind if I join you?”
“Sure.” they agreed.

His funny Nature attracted them. In no time he got them laughing with his hilarious jokes.
Finally, he got her number and scheduled a visit. Mission accomplished.

Like other girls she didn’t disappoint.
It did not take long before Joe led her to bed. Cynthia enjoyed every dose of his foreplay.
He brought out his little Joystick, Cynthia didn’t flinch. She returned the favour by giving him a BJ.
Sex was brief. She left.

It was the first time a girl never complained about the size of his joystick in a while.

3 days later he received a message from Cynthia.

“Hey Joe, will you be home tonight?”
“Sure.”
“I’m coming over to get some… U known na?”

Joe couldn’t believe his ears.
A girl coming for rebound sounded strange.

“Sure, I’ll be expecting you.”
Joe leaped for Joy. He looked at his Joystick.
“Boy, Atlast! Someone wants you.”

The dick’s reaction.

As if nature was in support, Cynthia arrived totally drenched in the rain. He took off her wet clothes & led her to the shower.

“Come and join me” she beckoned.
“That’s one invite the president would never send a representative.” Joe joked as he took off his clothes.

It was a blissful moment In the shower.

She pulled him close and forced a kiss, like a hungry Lion devouring its prey. The sensation was intense.

Joe gasped for breath at several intervals.

He proceeded to do what he knew how to do best.

Cynthia’s moans modified to screams of pleasure.

Before we could say Jack Robinson, They rushed to the room and samankwe was in session.
Joe realised she wasn’t feeling him like the foreplay. He had to switch between his tongue and his little joystick at intervals to balance the mood.
Cynthia enjoyed it.

In a month, Cynthia had moved to his apartment.

It was the first time he was able to keep a steady relationship.
Apart from the sexcapades they had, Cynthia was fun to be with. She was an extrovert and there was never a dull moment around her.

On this faithful day.
Joe and Cynthia had just finished a regular bout of samankwe.
Joe slept off in ecstasy of the pleasure he had just received.

He woke up to the sound of subtle moans from the bathroom.
He looked to his side and Cynthia was gone.

As he approached the bathroom he couldn’t believe his eyes.

He saw Cynthia with a massive dildo.

The ease with which she thrusted it underneath her shocked him.
He quickly retraced his steps to the bedroom. Cynthia was lost in ecstasy.

She didn’t notice him.

Joe felt sober. He pretended to be fast asleep as Cynthia approached the bed. She cuddled herself into his arms and slept off.

The next morning.

Joe set off for work.
“Hope you won’t be bored?” Joe asked.
“My friends will be visiting today, They will keep me company.” She winked.
“Have fun.” Joe said as he left.

En route to the office Joe stopped to pick Femi his close friend and colleague.
Femi was an upgraded version of Joe. He was equally cute , had a flair for chasing women and his manhood was above average. @WilsonNonny

Despite their closeness, Joe never shared his flaw with Femi.
He knew Femi was a talkative.

“Joe boy, you no dey get my time again since this Cynthia babe show”
“Femo! That babe wan kill me with love.” Joe smirked.

F: “Hope you had time to complete our presentation, Boss needs it today.”
J: “Today? I thought it was for Friday.”
F: “If you know what is good for you, better submit it today.”
J: “It’s at home, although its not complete lets go and get it.”

As they approached joe’s apartment they heard female voices.

“Joe you have a full house, Make I compose well, my next catch may just be there.” Femi joked.

They laughed in excitement.

As they approached the door Joe heard something.

“Cynthia does Joe know you’re a lesbian?” One of her friends asked.
Joe was shocked.
Femi held him back. “Shh!” Femi whispered to cool him as they hid behind the door.

“No, Having sex with Joe is like having sex with you guys”. Cynthia said.
“How? We don’t have a manhood” they chorused.

“His head game is good but His manhood is useless. I end up satisfying myself with a Dildo every night.”

Tears streamed down Joe’s eyes on hearing this.

They didn’t notice Joe behind the door as they burst into uncontrollable laughter.

“Joe that’s deep. I feel your pain bro.” Femi whispered.

“Femi SHUT UP!” Joe exploded in anger.

Joe realised he screamed.

The girls rushed out on hearing Joe scream.

“Hey baby, what’s the matter?” Cynthia asked.
Joe’s reply.👇

“Baby, I don’t understand.”

Joe's Reply.👇

“Before I close my eyes and open, I want you girls to leave my house with your Dildo f**king asses.” Joe Screamed.

Cynthia knew there was no apology that could sort this issue.

She left.

Joe was in a pensive mood.

He struggled with his stigma, as the pain was too much to bear.

He lost confidence approaching women. His friends consoled him.

Months later.

He was at the shopping mall to get some groceries, when he heard a familiar voice from a distance.

“J-boy! J-Boy!” He turned to see who it was.
Behold it was Mary.

Mary was Joe’s childhood friend, It had been 7years since they last saw.
They lost contact when she got admission into a private university that banned the use of phones.

“J-boy, so you dey this Lagos, how is everything?” Mary said with Joy.

“I am doing fine o. You still look beautiful as ever.” Joe said.

“Go Joor! you always called me ugly” She joked.
“What did I know then. Forgive my ignorance. So who’s on board?” He asked.

“My dear, it’s a long story, we need to seat somewhere and discuss.” She insisted.

Mary discussed her Issues too.
She had problems staying in a committed relationship. On 2 occasions she lost men who had proposed to her on the grounds of cheating. She had been left at the altar once for no reason.

Joe realised life was difficult everywhere.

Joe explained his predicament.

“Don’t tell me that Dick we usually laugh at has refused to grow?” She Joked.
“My dear, same story O! Even a Lesbian used me.”

Mary screamed in laughter.

Mary realised Joe didn’t find it funny, she consoled him.

Mary understood his predicament.

Joe And Mary became closer than ever as friends, for the first time he met someone who made him forget his stigma.

As weeks went by, Joeʼs focus switched from experimenting women to finding the right woman he could spend the rest of his life with.

One who would look beyond his flaw and love him for who he is.
He thought of Mary.

To Joe, she was the light at the end of the tunnel.

“J-boy, donʼt you think you should settle down, or do you still enjoy carrying different women?”
“My dear, I have thought about it. How about you?” Joe asked.
“Iʼm still waiting for Mr. Right. For now let me enjoy my singleness to the fullest.”

Joe had a positive feeling he could be Mr. Right.

That night he couldn’t sleep. Thoughts of Mary clouded his mind.

“I will pop the question tomorrow.” he said to himself.

At work, he was deep in thought on how to approach Mary when he felt a tap on his back.

“Where is Femi?” Mr Bode thundered.

“today is his off day sir.” Joe gave a faint reply.
“He had the guts to leave without completing his project. If you know what is good for him, Get his ass here.”

Joe tried his line, it was switched off.

He sped to Femiʼs house.

On getting there, he knocked but didn't get a response.

He turned the door knob. Luckily it unlocked.

He saw a female bag, shoes and clothes scattered on the floor. As he walked towards his room he saw a brazier on the floor.
Then he heard moans coming from the room.

He could clearly hear Femi scream “Whoʼs your Daddy?”
“It’s you baby!” was the repeated reply.

Joe did not need a soothsayer to decipher the message.

He returned to the parlour to wait for Femi. “Femi no dey carry last” he thought to himself.

Minutes later, The door opened. behold! It was Femi completely naked.

Joeʼs reaction when he saw the Hunk of a penis Femi had.

It was massive.
He knew there was no way he could satisfy any woman that had tasted such.

He tried comparing it with his.

This was all he could Imagine.👇

“Joe Bobo how did you get in?” Femi asked.
“Stupid boy, you left the door open. You have not learnt your lesson abi? until one of your babes will poor acid on you.” Joe joked.

“Mehn, the babe in that room is a machine.”

“I found her on an online dating site yesterday. One thing led to another and we got to the room.” Femi chuckled.

“Nice one, but Iʼm here to spoil the fun. Boss needs you right now.”Joe said.
“But today is my off day.” Femi shrugged.
“You didnʼt complete your project. He is screaming his lungs out at the office.”

“Mtcheww! Let me get dressed. Iʼm coming.” Femi hissed.

Baby, whatʼs keeping you. I still need more.” The lady in the room said as she stepped out.

Lo And behold. It was Mary wrapped in a bedsheet.

Joe was shocked.

“Mary!” he screamed.

Joeʼs eyes drifted back to Femiʼs massive penis.

There was inordinate silence.

Joe’s heart sank. He tried to fake a smile.

“You guys know each other?” Femi asked.

“Yeah, J-boy is my childhood friend.” Mary replied in excitement.

Joe’s reaction.👇
(I have been childhood-Zoned.)

“Wow! Joe Bobo is my colleague and close pal.” Femi added.

“Its a small world” Joe managed to say.

Joe dropped Mary At her Bus-stop and continued the journey to the office with Femi.
It was a solemn journey as Joe had many thoughts going through his mind.

Until Femi broke the silence.

“I canʼt wait to go another round with that babe. Sheʼs Lit!” Femi said jokingly. Joe stopped the car instantly and burst into uncontrollable tears.

“Joe bobo whatʼs the matter?” Femi asked in shock.

“I planned spending the rest of my life with her.” Joe said.
“Iʼm sorry bro. Is she aware of your intentions?” Femi asked.

“Femi, Iʼm just tired, I canʼt find true love because of my condition.”

“What Condition.” femi asked.
“Donʼt pretend you donʼt know About my little Joystick. When I saw yours, I lost my self esteem.”

“Mtcheew! Thatʼs not a problem. Thereʼs a solution.” Femi hissed.

Joeʼs eyes widened “you mean thereʼs a solution?”

“Yeah, but lets get to the office first.” Femi said.

***End of part1***

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