Thread by @Schroedinger99

Translation from @DominicRaab-ese into English: gov.uk/government/new…

Translation from @DominicRaab-ese into English:

"We have reached agreement [...] on the rights of the [...] citizens that have chosen to make their home in [...] the EU."
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"We have abandoned the citizens that have chosen to make their home in the EU -they'll just have to sort things out themselves with each country".

"We have reached agreement[...] on the rights of the [...] citizens that have chosen to make their home in [...] the UK."
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"Our commitment to let EU citizens apply for permission to stay is contingent on our reaching agreement on all the other stuff."

"We have provided certainty for businesses"
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"We have thrown businesses into never ending uncertainty"

"we are stepping up our efforts [...] to respect the Belfast Agreement in all its parts"
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"Fuck the Irish"

"the backstop [should] only be for a time-limited period"
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"the backstop will be permanent"*

"we need to work up a clear and precise vision"
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"I think I'm beginning to hallucinate"

"a free trade area for goods that avoids either party imposing additional checks at the border"
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"We are staying in the Customs Union"

"This free trade area would be underpinned by a common rulebook"
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"We are staying in the Single Market"

"we propose a framework for mobility that enables UK and EU citizens to continue to travel to each other’s countries"
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"we shall continue to allow freedom of movement"

"a new approach to our annual negotiations on access to waters and the sharing of fishing opportunities"
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"we shall continue with the Common Fisheries Policy"

"Those plans are ambitious, principled and pragmatic."
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"Those plans are half-hearted, mendacious and fanciful."

"we’ve got work to do"
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"Yeah Davis was as about as industrious as a weed-smoking sloth that watches daytime TV"