Thread by @Fizzygrrl

Folks. I am about to share the weirdest tale I’ve ever experienced, even by my high bar of weird.

A weird 37 years in the making.

Buckle up for the STORY TIME OF WHUT

Like, this one is so trippy I wouldn’t even share it if there weren’t many, many witnesses and legal documents that verify. It’s THAT SURREAL.

So. Ever since I was a kid, people accidentally call me Heather. It’s been a running joke for years. I even document the occurrences on the #NotHeather tag when I remember to.

It happens at least once a week.

This has been a running joke for YEARS.

I can’t oversell the Heather thing. Doctors I’ve seen for years will slip and call me Heather. Friends. MY OWN HUSBAND HAS RECENTLY CALLED ME HEATHER.

And some of you will say that maybe it’s because of my last name and people glitch there.

But see, that’s my married name. People have been Heathering me since I was a wee little tot.

Now, I’m adopted. And before I went to live with my parents and was named Summer, I was in this like, baby-holding home and was given a random name instead of Baby 847.

I always joke the Heathering is the universe’s way of telling me that random name was Heather.

And see, I’ve asked the adoption agency, but the file was sealed indefinitely, even from me, so I have no access to any of it.

So. Out of NOWHERE, about two weeks ago I got a message on Facebook from someone asking if I’d been put up for adoption in June 1981.

Folks: ENTER SUDDEN BIO SISTER AND BROTHERS AND BIO DAD AND y’all it’s been wild.

This past weekend, they flew me out to meet them all.

Srsly. Fucking WILD.

Our second day together, I was like, “OH HEY DO YOU KNOW THE RANDOM BABY NAME????????”

They knew.

Guys. GUYS.

It. Was. HEATHER.

Me for ten minutes:

Me the next ten minutes:

This half of the bio family spent 3 years looking for me, and the detective they used found the birth certificate I’d had before a new one was issued when my parents took me.

And there it was. Heather.

HEATHER

For the first 6 weeks of my life, my name was Heather.

And for the next 37 years, people have randomly been calling me Heather.

Of all the things I’ve learned this weekend, AND THERE HAVE BEEN SOME BIZARRE THINGS, this is by far the most surreal.

So. Yeah. Apparently my #NotHeather life should have been #NotHeatherNowButActuallyWasAtOnePointAHeather

The end.