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Ari Schulman @AriSchulman
, 5 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
Please no: A play in four acts.
The emoji-laden agent-bae tech support experience is enough to make one long for the authenticity of the hostile cabbie.
Perhaps I am overly finicky but a winky-face emoji seems slightly atonal here
Me: So you're telling me your tech people will return my laptop melted down into a grotesque, mangled block, laying ruin to my work and making a mockery of all my earthly aspirations?
Tech support: That's right, Ari 😋😍💃
The agent of my destruction has been known by many names in many times and places
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Re: lettuce: has anyone tried adding more blockchain?
I was about to apologize for what a bad joke that was.
dallasnews.com/business/retai…
holy moly
Read 7 tweets
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Full 5-star reviews on Amazon are now a great indicator of cheap garbage.
Wow! 36 out of 36 reviews give 5 stars! And all left today!
Hey look, this reviewer has left 10 reviews, all for deep-discount knockoffs, all today! He must know his stuff!
Read 4 tweets
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Extremely tempted to make a bot that tweets Nietzsche aphorisms with clapping-hand emojis
One 👏 has 👏 only 👏 seen 👏 little 👏 of 👏 life 👏 if 👏 one 👏 hasn't 👏 also 👏 seen 👏 the 👏 hand 👏 that 👏 mercifully 👏 kills 💃💃
Anyone 👏 who 👏 despises 👏 himself 👏 will 👏 still 👏 respect 👏 himself 👏 as 👏 a 👏 despiser 😋🔥
Read 5 tweets

Related threads

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Seen a lot of gammonistas being puzzled as to why refugees from Iran, Syria etc are disproportionately young men. I doubt a thread from me will persuade them but others might appreciate an explanation. A quick thread/
1/ If you're in a war zone/ dictatorship, it's young men, not women, who are routinely conscripted into military/militias. If you're a conscientious objector on moral or political grounds or of a local ethnic minority, you may prefer to take the horrendous risks >
involved in fleeing rather than face arrest & brutal punishments.

2/ If you are a young male in an active war zone you face summary execution / imprisonment if your town/territory is captured by rival forces bbc.co.uk/news/world-mid… Fleeing may be your only hope of surviving. >
Read 10 tweets
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181126 SHINee Key FACE Media Showcase

"I felt like this was the right time. Although comebacks are all the rage at the moment, I thought it's more important to introduce my music now regardless of that. I worked slowly on my album since 1 yr ago and while promoting with SHINee."
181126 SHINee Key FACE Media Showcase

"If I had released my solo album earlier, I think it would have seemed rushed. I wanted to calmly make music and prepare my stage. I was waiting for the right time for me, and 10 years ended up passing as a result."
181126 SHINee Key FACE Media Showcase

"The reason it took so long for my album to come out was because there were a lot important projects that I couldn't easily give up."
Read 20 tweets
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Right let’s talk folks. About home. What’s in it anyway? Home is home right? Just like Brexit is Brexit, it can mean different things to different people. It’s just surprising how *many* people equate home with place. Home is not a house or town or country. 1/
Home is where you feel safe. It may be where your loved ones, your family, live but it doesn’t have to be. It may be temporary, where you’re staying, but it’s still home as it’s where you have decided to spend your life. Even if just for now. 2/
Home is where you can relax. Where you can love and sleep and eat in peace. Without fear or worry that any moment someone will come knocking at the door to take you away. 3/
Read 26 tweets
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1/#WTOStc/@stuffofwar
The medieval formation & modern history of the Baltic States (Estonia, Latvia, & Lithuania) is a very intricate, difficult topic.
Sadly, key artefacts were deliberately blown up (Boris Stones) stolen (Euphrasia’s Cross) or erased (by propaganda or genocide)
2/#WTOStc
after the 1939 Soviet-Nazi pact such that the 1 artefact unifying the area in #medieval times - the COG ship used by Catholic Crusaders then adopted by Orthodox colonizers & Slavic tribes along the Neman, Daugava, Emmajõgi, Velikaya, & Volkhov Rivers - is terribly rare.
3/#WTOStc
Yet of the COG remains its MOSS - polytrichum commune - flourishing all over the region.
Since Soviet studies had to ignore dendochronology (tree-ring dating) & Chernobyl’s radiation (=false chemical dating) & skirt the limits of KGB monitoring,& since 1992 each free
Read 17 tweets
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#Sterlini: "#Axini, wanna try this together thing again? We could both be dark matter!"
Axini: "I dunno, you were mean last time. I'm a good dark matter candidate too!"
S: "I know. Let's try!"
A: "You CAN'T bully me around anymore, got that?!"
S: "okay I'll be good! MAAAYBE."
Not quite there yet, but they've gone from squabbles to just sniffing each other intently! The quest to reunite the #darkmattersisters continues. #Progress
I posted that video after about 30 minutes of me removing the barrier and a couple of squabbles. This is what's happening right now! 😀
Read 5 tweets
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👏🏾👏🏾Minisode: Shoutout to the Women Thread👏🏾👏🏾
Out now on @ApplePodcast #TuesdayThoughts #TuesdayMotivation #PodEcho itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/min…
All jokes aside i just want to say on behalf of the fellas and society we appreciate yall and yall deserve much more.
Also on @podbeancom #PodBean podbean.com/media/share/pb…
Read 8 tweets

Trending hashtags

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