LAW 9: Win through your actions, never through argument.
Even when they agree with you, people will often go on to do the exact opposite – and hold a grudge for your having argued with them.
Human cognition is flawed, but few recognize this on a deep level.
Even when they agree with you, people will often go on to do the exact opposite – and hold a grudge for your having argued with them.
Human cognition is flawed, but few recognize this on a deep level.
Understand that the vast majority of people assume that words, logic and other semantics are about truth.
They are afraid of appearing stupid for being proven wrong, or honestly see themselves as the smartest person in the room.
They are afraid of appearing stupid for being proven wrong, or honestly see themselves as the smartest person in the room.
1. Words are fickle allies. What to you sounds neutral could be a mortal offense to someone else.
Some cultures keep dogs as pets, others eat them, still others despise them as filthy animals.
Some cultures keep dogs as pets, others eat them, still others despise them as filthy animals.
2. When you argue with people, you’re implicitly telling them they’re stupid.
Arguing can be seen as disrespectful and aggressive by its very nature. Even if they were actually open to your arguments, people can resist you in order not to appear weak in public.
Arguing can be seen as disrespectful and aggressive by its very nature. Even if they were actually open to your arguments, people can resist you in order not to appear weak in public.
3. Most of the time you have nothing to gain from people's agreement.
Agreement doesn't matter because you can take action on your own and there usually isn't enough reputational gain from being combative.
Shrewd salespeople even use triggering as a powerful sales tactic.
Agreement doesn't matter because you can take action on your own and there usually isn't enough reputational gain from being combative.
Shrewd salespeople even use triggering as a powerful sales tactic.
4. When you argue with trolls on the Internets, you only give them power and waste your time.
Troll yourself instead – that disarms your opponents, puts you on the high ground and entertains your allies and followers.
Troll yourself instead – that disarms your opponents, puts you on the high ground and entertains your allies and followers.
5. People may easily forget your words, even if they like them and support you for them.
The things you build and the monkey stacked in your bank account is much less forgettable. Even transitory deeds have more staying power than words.
The things you build and the monkey stacked in your bank account is much less forgettable. Even transitory deeds have more staying power than words.
6. Never ask permission; better ask forgiveness.
When you ask for permission, you're effectively asking others to take responsibility for your actions or even do your job for you.
No wonder people get aggravated and usually say no when you ask permission – they viscerally sense an agenda.
No wonder people get aggravated and usually say no when you ask permission – they viscerally sense an agenda.
Asking for permission USUALLY is a bad way to go:
– with your boss
– in relationships
– with customers and clients
– with bureaucrats (unless legally required, of course)
Make up your mind and don't shift responsibility.
– with your boss
– in relationships
– with customers and clients
– with bureaucrats (unless legally required, of course)
Make up your mind and don't shift responsibility.
7. Even if the goal is to provoke and aggravate, actions speak louder than words.
This is one of many threads that will show you the 48 laws in a new light.
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Don't be left behind.
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