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Chef Shwasty @ChefShwasty
, 3 tweets, 1 min read Read on Twitter
Prime reason I don't go to the doc:

Wanted to log in online to get a refill of my BP meds. Had to reset my password. Wouldn't tell me where my password got sent to. Checked all 9 of my emails.

Tried to log in anyways.

Cont'd...
Used every combination I could think of

Instead of saying "try again in X hours" or whatever

I get SERVER-BANNED for too many attempts and now I have to wait for the office to open in like 3 hours

Cont'd...
Now I have to wait 3 hrs to call them to unlock my acct to find my email to reset my password so I can send a fucking email to my doc for an Rx most people just get an auto-refill of anyways

American health care is such a joke, I'm playing an RPG fetch-quest to stay alive
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More from @ChefShwasty see all

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This is what I did last night instead of sleeping, and this is a true story:

'Twas the night before returning to work,
And all through the house,
Only one creature was stirring,
And it was THIS fuckin' louse
The talking of anxiety
hung thick in the air,
For fear that Super Chad
Would STILL BE THERE
Chef was snuggled
all warm in his bed
While visions and fever-dreams
Fucked with his head
Read 29 tweets
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I just put my foot in my mouth so bad that I'm choking on my own knee

Heard through the grapevine that a friend of a friend is leaving their job to start their own business

So I swing by with coffees to congratulate him on the bold move
I say "Hey, heard the news, congrats! It's a big step to leave your job and strike out on your own!"

The place goes dead quiet

He stutters

"Yeah, uh thanks, um... Yeah..."

So he then turns to his employees (he's a manager) to say:

"Sorry, I wanted to say something sooner..."
HE HADN'T TOLD ANYONE

HIS ASSISTANT MANAGER IS LOOKING AT HIM WITH A COMBO OF DEPRESSION AND ANGER

THE OTHERS JUST LOOK HEARTBROKEN

HOW

WHY

WHY DID I DO THAT

WHY DID I DO THE THING THAT I DID

I AM FILLED WITH ICK
Read 4 tweets
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So after brief reflection, I've come to the conclusion that Drunk-Me™ in my early-20's was #MyOwnWorstEnemy

The following are ways that I used to intentionally sabotage myself for jollies:
Drunk-Me™ is #MyOwnWorstEnemy because...

I once invited everyone in a bar back to my place for an "after party." Hour later when I went to leave I wondered why people were following me. Took off running with my friend. We remembered the next day

(Lived withing walking dist)
Drunk-Me™ is #MyOwnWorstEnemy because...

Attended a party in mid-October. After way too much rum, decided to go swimming. Lined up a trampoline and did a double front-flip into the pool.

Wasn't their pool

Wasn't their trampoline

Wasn't their dog, either

More running ensued
Read 8 tweets

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My dad used to work in the circulation department of the @TorontoStar. Growing up, there were always newspapers around and I really loved it. I just moved into a new place, and decided I'd like to get The Star on weekends. Please go on a journey with me as I try to subscribe.
Step one, I Google "Toronto Star home delivery". The top result is for thestar.com/subscribe. Note my options on this page. Neither are for home delivery.
I eventually find the link to home delivery in the second column of the page's footer. That is not super intuitive on a about subscribing? I know that most people are probably looking for digital, but home delivery could at least be one of the options on the page itself.
Read 61 tweets
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@RepMarkMeadows We will discuss the following article, knowing what we know now.

independent.co.uk/news/world/ame…
@RepMarkMeadows It sure sounds like this is referring to George, and it is highly likely there are recordings. We should hear those recordings.

George wasn’t meeting with Russians, he was meeting with Western Intel assets.
@RepMarkMeadows This entire passage is incorrect.

Trump associates were intentionally targeted and there was no five eyes Intel.
Read 201 tweets
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It's art up for review in opinions, of course I'm going to gravitate towards something shared with interest, when he didn't say a word for 2 days! Why was he there? #opendata #smartcities #bigdata #ai
I went through every single video he released in hip hop to understand him not saying a word. Easy to work out, he's a very bitter man who has absorbed all his parents immigrant opinions at home #opendata #smartcities #bigdata #ai
His parents are not middle class anywhere & neither is he #opendata #smartcities #bigdata #ai
Read 3214 tweets
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@JETconsul @ThomasS4217 @ellyn_gesell @20committee @LouiseMensch @LincolnsBible @kelly2277 1/ "Azerbaijan & the transcontinental mega-pipeline Southern Gas Corridor got a pass... BP is the operator & largest shareholder in Azerbaijan's offshore Shah Deniz gas fields, which will feed the Southern Gas Corridor pipeline."
NP Rothschild connex👉#BP, #Glencore, #Derispaska
@JETconsul @ThomasS4217 @ellyn_gesell @20committee @LouiseMensch @LincolnsBible @kelly2277 2/ *Deripaska🙄
24-tweet mega-<thread> (which is partially broken) that provides info on how tight Peter Munk, Lord Jacob Rothschild (Nat's father) and Oleg Deripaska are (more on BP downthread):
@JETconsul @ThomasS4217 @ellyn_gesell @20committee @LouiseMensch @LincolnsBible @kelly2277 3/ "There were rumours that PM Djukanovic🇲🇪, whose family owns one of Montenegro's biggest banks & who had been investigated by Italy's anti-Mafia unit over a billion-$ cigarette smuggling operation (the charges were dropped in 2009), … (con't)
Read 9 tweets
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boy is this gonna be a shitshow
.@RepJerryNadler blasts House Republicans for holding an emergency hearing on Clinton's #emails while being completely disinterested about the family separation crisis Trump created, the president's conflicts of interest, or really conducting oversight of any sort
NADLER: "POTUS & some of his closest advisors are under investigation for having participated in a criminal conspiracy w/a foreign power against the US. That is an emergency. The president practically confessed to on television he obstructed justice. That is an emergency."
Read 34 tweets

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