I had some scary medical tests the other morning in Chicago. The keep you awake all night kind. The get you out of bed and wake your host up to tell him you're going for a walk at 3:43 in the morning kind.
I walked.
And walked.
1/
I walked.
And walked.
1/
We have a number of "Golden" restaurants here, of the Nugget, Ticket, and Corral variety.
It was one those.
The open 24 hours for people like me at times like this kind.
There was one server, one busperson, the cook, and me.
I never looked at her name.
2/
It was one those.
The open 24 hours for people like me at times like this kind.
There was one server, one busperson, the cook, and me.
I never looked at her name.
2/
That is not like me. I look at names. They matter because people matter, because she matters.
She matters because it's 4am and she is a single Latino mother in Donald Trump's America.
We are constantly reminded of the fact that it is his by the televisions.
3/
She matters because it's 4am and she is a single Latino mother in Donald Trump's America.
We are constantly reminded of the fact that it is his by the televisions.
3/
CNN, FOX, and ABC are all reminding us constantly. If you focus on any one screen or feed you are given specific gut churning reminders.
But if you try to let it all merge into one you just catch the occasional "Todag the President..." or sometimes just that one word.
4/
But if you try to let it all merge into one you just catch the occasional "Todag the President..." or sometimes just that one word.
4/
"TRUMP."
That word used to mean something else to me. A word called out during some family card game we used to play to signify you just did something awesome.
It doesn't mean that to me anymore.
We recognize each other. We can tell we're on the sane side.
5/
That word used to mean something else to me. A word called out during some family card game we used to play to signify you just did something awesome.
It doesn't mean that to me anymore.
We recognize each other. We can tell we're on the sane side.
5/
The good side.
We never say the words.
We don't have to.
It's something many of us have gotten good at in the 700 plus days since Trump stole the US Presidency.
There is his since.
And we are on the other side.
The good side.
Call it personal profiling.
It works.
6/
We never say the words.
We don't have to.
It's something many of us have gotten good at in the 700 plus days since Trump stole the US Presidency.
There is his since.
And we are on the other side.
The good side.
Call it personal profiling.
It works.
6/
We become creatures of kindness. A familiar ease sets in.
It feels normal I guess.
Like things used to feel in the days before a person's political identity necessarily told you what kind of person they explicitly were.
7/
It feels normal I guess.
Like things used to feel in the days before a person's political identity necessarily told you what kind of person they explicitly were.
7/
She and the busperson can comfortably speak in Spanish together and laugh comfortably.
It's something they can't always do anymore she will tell me later.
Later.
After they left.
The thirty something scruffy looking white guy arrived first. The immediate tension comes.
8/
It's something they can't always do anymore she will tell me later.
Later.
After they left.
The thirty something scruffy looking white guy arrived first. The immediate tension comes.
8/
He stands at thd register.
Next, a much older white man enters. He joins the younger man at the register.
They are here to pick ul orders I think to myself.
They begin to talk.
Why do they always have to talk?
And why does it always have to be so loudly?
9/
Next, a much older white man enters. He joins the younger man at the register.
They are here to pick ul orders I think to myself.
They begin to talk.
Why do they always have to talk?
And why does it always have to be so loudly?
9/
The younger of the two suddenly erupts with "I'm fucking sick of people getting on Trump. Fuck all of them. "
There it was. As two immigrants worked nervously around them, silently.
He did it on purpose. We've all been here before in this same moment countless times now.
10/
There it was. As two immigrants worked nervously around them, silently.
He did it on purpose. We've all been here before in this same moment countless times now.
10/
That immediate nausea sets in, the kind that @KatyTurNBC describes so well in the opening pages of her excellent book detailing her experiences on the road w/ Trump in 2016.
They go on and on. And we let them. I'm too far away from them to interject & we're too tired.
11/
They go on and on. And we let them. I'm too far away from them to interject & we're too tired.
11/
We do this too often and we have learned to fight our battles.
"I CAN'T WAIT TO VOTE," I say when she comes back to my table with a full Pepsi after they've left.
She sighs.
I already did, she says.
"But we'll never vote them away." she says. There is a tone of defeat.
12/
"I CAN'T WAIT TO VOTE," I say when she comes back to my table with a full Pepsi after they've left.
She sighs.
I already did, she says.
"But we'll never vote them away." she says. There is a tone of defeat.
12/
I don't even know how to respond.
We spend my remaining time together learning small things about each other.
The restaurant starts to fill up.
As I leave I say "Thank you for your kindness."
She grabs my arm "Its all we have left to give each other honey. "
13/
We spend my remaining time together learning small things about each other.
The restaurant starts to fill up.
As I leave I say "Thank you for your kindness."
She grabs my arm "Its all we have left to give each other honey. "
13/
When I vote next Tuesday it is not my vote I will be casting. My vote doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the Republic of which I am a citizen.
I will cast it responsibally for its protection.
And I will thinking about her, because it is her vote too.
20/
I will cast it responsibally for its protection.
And I will thinking about her, because it is her vote too.
20/
I will cast it for my dead mother. For Martin Luther King Jr., and for Emmett Till.
My vote belongs to them too.
For @HillaryClinton, and Ann Richards. I will vote for every person who has died of AIDS and every fallen child from every school shooting ever.
It theirs too.
/
My vote belongs to them too.
For @HillaryClinton, and Ann Richards. I will vote for every person who has died of AIDS and every fallen child from every school shooting ever.
It theirs too.
/
