Thread by @KateBrauning

Whaaat is it really #subtips time again? It is! I'm going to yell about what makes a standout, bestselling, award-winning, reader-grabbing first line in a novel. WITH EXAMPLES.

First to note-- not every book that wins awards or becomes a bestseller or that readers love like their own child has a striking first line. BUT why not use every power you have to hook your reader and set their expectation? #subtips

There's a magical joy in picking up a book that's new to you & reading a first line that just stabs you in the heart, or makes you laugh out loud in the bookstore, or mesmerizes you so intensely you forget that you're a person making a decision & simply enter the story #subtips

How do you create that magical first line as a writer? There are 6 commonly used techniques brilliant first lines of novels tend to use. Humor, voice, urgent question, insight, surprise, and juxtaposition. #subtips

Humor: make the reader laugh. Not just chuckle-- laugh out loud. This is often used in MG and voice-driven YA contemporary.

That's one way a first line can set expectation-- as a genre clue. Some of those 6 strategies are more suited to some genres than others. #subtips

Humor:
"Check this out. This dude named Andrew Dahl holds the world record for blowing up the most balloons . . . with his nose." —Ghost by Jason Reynolds

The bullfrog was only half dead, which was perfect.
—Gertie’s Leap to Greatness by Kate Beasley

more humor:

Nobody believed me when I said two skunks stole my old trike. But I’d seen those stinkers take it.—The Midnight War of Mateo Martinez, Robin Yardi

There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it —CSL, Dawn Treader

Tool 2 for a magical first line is voice. YA is all about this, so is MG, and so is adult romance. It sets the tone for a book centering on a character, a personality, a life experience that will capture us. #subtips

Voice-driven first lines:

The best day of my life happened when I was five and almost died at Disney World. I’m sixteen now, so you can imagine that’s left me with quite a few days of major suckage.
– Going Bovine, by Libba Bray #subtips

I don’t consider myself to be precious, necessarily, but give me air-conditioning or give me death. —The Great American Whatever by Tim Federle

Joost had two problems: the moon and his mustache.
Six of Crows—Leigh Bardugo #subtips

Took 3! Urgent question. Thrillers, mysteries, stories with unreliable narratives, or especially high-concept stories often use this strategy in the first line. It centers on the hook and it grips the readers mind with something they MUST know. It's so effective. #subtips

Examples of an urgent question in first lines:

Lydia is dead. But they don't know this yet. —Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

What? Who is they? Why don't they know? And why is she dead?
#subtips

It was a pleasure to burn. —Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Why would that be a pleasure? We have to know.

Quiet as it's kept, there were no marigolds in the fall of 1941. —The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison

Why are people keeping marigolds quiet?!
#subtips

Tool 4 for a first line that amazes us is insight. Books that speak to our heart or tackle big issues often use this device. Right from line 1, we know this book is going to change us. #subtips

Insight as a device for first lines:

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.-- Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy

The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new. —Samuel Beckett, Murphy #subtips

Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. —Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God

Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by poor dress.
—George Eliot, Middlemarch #subtips

The 5th tool that brilliant first lines often use is surprise. Making the reader do a double-take. Shocking them a bit. Notice some of these lines I've quoted for other devices do this, too:

Joost had two problems: the moon and his mustache.
Six of Crows—Leigh Bardugo

Honestly, moons and facial hair pretty surprising problems.

#subtips

The bullfrog was only half dead, which was perfect.
—Gertie’s Leap to Greatness by Kate Beasley

"perfect" is a huge surprise there. Why half dead, and not fully dead? Or fully alive? It's hilarious, but it's also surprising #subtips

New examples for surprise in first lines:

Since it’s Sunday and it’s stopped raining, I think I’ll take a bouquet of roses to my grave.
—Gabriel Garcia Marquez, "Someone Has Been Disarranging These Roses"

He's taking roses to... his own grave? I'm surprised for sure
#subtips

And finally! Tool 6 for constructing a magical first line in your novel: Juxtaposition of disparate elements, such as something dire with a matter-of-fact voice, something normal with the magical/an oddity, happy voice with tragic fact. #subtips

Juxtaposition isn't just placing two different things in a sentence. It's the contrasting, amplified effect we get when two disparate things are close together. It's a moment when the whole is more than the sum of its parts. #subtips

Examples of juxtaposition of disparate elements in first lines:

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. —George Orwell, 1984.

Orwell is juxtaposing normality with oddity-- clock striking what now? (Note he's also using surprise!) #subtips

Prologue: It is important, when killing a nun, to ensure that you bring an army of sufficient size.
1st chapter: No child truly believes they will be hanged.
Red Sister—Mark Lawrence

Lawrence is juxtaposing dire information with a matter-of-fact voice, to great effect. #subtips

“On the second Sabbat of Twelfthmoon, in the city of Weep, a girl fell from the sky.”
– Strange The Dreamer by Laini Taylor

Taylor uses dire info & matter-of-fact voice, but also specificity with details that are incredibly vague. It forces us to ask "what girl?! Why?" #subtips

Notice many of these magical first lines combine techniques--humor with surprise, urgent question with voice. Pick your tools based on how you want to set the stage, your genre, and what you personally love to write. There's no right or wrong here, just different tools #subtips

One last example, this time a powerhouse first line that combines many of these tools so effortlessly it hurts: #subtips

Once upon a time, in a far-off land, I was kidnapped by a gang of fearless yet terrified young men with so much impossible hope beating inside their bodies it burned their very skin and strengthened their will right through their bones. —An Untamed State by Roxane Gay

Ms. Gay uses voice, insight, urgent question, and juxtaposition of dire info with beautiful voice, fearlessness with terror, the fact the MC is in danger but her focus is on the men instead of herself--all so smoothly there's not a single crack. We can't turn away. #subtips

When you're done drafting & ready to return to your first line, think about these 6 tools & choose one or more that you love, that show the reader what you & this book are about. Try 12 different versions with the same technique. Let it sit. Revisit. It will pay off! #subtips

Okay, that's it! If you learned from this thread or found it helpful, you can leave me a tip here in my kofi, just like taking me out for coffee: ko-fi.com/A778QA3

You can also check out breakthroughwriters.com, where I teach things like this more often! #subtips