I just opened up my bag of Ghost Pepper Potato Chips from Trader Joe’s and there’s a whole ass potato in the bag. I’m not kidding. An entire potato. I can’t even take the bag back cuz who the hell is gonna believe a full potato was in it. They’re just gonna say I put it in there.
I’m so disappointed right now. I was looking forward to eating some ghost pepper chips and all I got was a couple of soggy chips and a potato. I opened up the bag, saw the potato, and thought to myself, “Ain’t no damn way there’s a potato in my bag of potato chips.” But it was.
I know y’all not gone believe me anyway cuz ain’t nothing about this believable, but here’s a video.
This is the perfect crime. Yea Trader Joe’s might take the bag back cuz they’re good ppl but absolutely no one at the store is going to believe the potato was in the bag. I damn sure wouldn’t if someone came into my store with an open bag of chips and a potato inside.
*tomorrow at Trader Joe’s*
“I need a new bag of chips.”
“Why?”
“There was a potato in the bag.”
“...”
“...”
“Nigga you lying.”
“Why would I lie about a potato in my chips?”
“Why wouldn’t you lie about a potato in ya chips.”
“I need a new bag of chips.”
“Why?”
“There was a potato in the bag.”
“...”
“...”
“Nigga you lying.”
“Why would I lie about a potato in my chips?”
“Why wouldn’t you lie about a potato in ya chips.”
If anyone else in this unfair, cruel world has ever opened up a bag of chips and found a potato inside, now is the time to come forward so I don’t feel so isolated and alone.
Trader Joe’s prolly gone tell me this is how their chips so fresh. 
Trader Joe’s: “You’re suppose to make’m yourself! That’s why they’re so fresh!”
Imma let y’all know what happens with Ghost Pepper Potatogate at Trader Joe’s tomorrow. I don’t have much else to say on the matter. Hindsight 20/20, I’ll be checking all my chips for possible potatoes in them now.
Heading up to Trader Joe’s now.
Update: So we got a bag of chips as a refund.
Alright, sorry it took me so long to update. When I got home I just straight up passed out. It was a long day. So let me break down what happened in Trader Joe’s.
*walks inside*
Me: “Hey, could I speak to a manager.”
Employee: “Hey, I’m actually one of the managers.”
*i bring the bag from behind me*
Me: “So let me just start this by saying I’m not trying to get a new bag & I just want to make sure this isn’t a thing.”
Employee:
Me: “Hey, could I speak to a manager.”
Employee: “Hey, I’m actually one of the managers.”
*i bring the bag from behind me*
Me: “So let me just start this by saying I’m not trying to get a new bag & I just want to make sure this isn’t a thing.”
Employee:
*i put bag of chips on the table*
Me: “So I opened up this bag and when I did, this musty smell wafted out and...look what was inside.”
*employee visibly steps back*
Employee: “Ok, now I’m scared.”
*steps back from bag*
Me: “Just look.”
Employee: *looks inside bag*
Me: “So I opened up this bag and when I did, this musty smell wafted out and...look what was inside.”
*employee visibly steps back*
Employee: “Ok, now I’m scared.”
*steps back from bag*
Me: “Just look.”
Employee: *looks inside bag*
Employee: “It’s...it’s a potato.”
Me: “I know right. Like, one big potato.”
Employee: *calls over another manager*
Employee: “Look.”
Other Manager: “Oh...that’s a potato.”
Me: “Right!”
Other Manager: “Well that’s how you know we make them fresh.”
Me *in my mind* “I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA SAY THAT!”
Employee: *calls over another manager*
Employee: “Look.”
Other Manager: “Oh...that’s a potato.”
Me: “Right!”
Other Manager: “Well that’s how you know we make them fresh.”
Me *in my mind* “I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA SAY THAT!”
Long story, Short. They filed a report about it and took down my number cuz they said they weren’t sure if a potato in my chips was a common thing or if this was a unique occurrence. So I’ll be waiting on that call when they hear back from Headquarters I guess.
The two managers were very nice. They believed me without any accusations and told me to get a new bag free of charge. They were very cordial. If I ever worked at Trader Joe’s, I’d like to thing I’d enjoy them being my boss.
I don’t know what they did with the potato. I hope it find a new home. A better home. One where it’ll one day become a real chippy boi. But that’s not my problem anymore. That’s pretty much it on Ghost Pepper Potatogate.
Epilogue: I am not expecting a call from Trader Joe’s to follow up on this, but you never know. But, how would that conversation even go?
Me: “Hello.”
TJ: “Update on that potato. Yea, that’s just how we do it.
Me: “Do what?”
TJ: “Sometimes our 🥔 dont become chippy bois.”
Me: “Hello.”
TJ: “Update on that potato. Yea, that’s just how we do it.
Me: “Do what?”
TJ: “Sometimes our 🥔 dont become chippy bois.”
Me: “Please elaborate.”
TJ: “The shredder missed the potato.”
Me: “But the bag was soggy. It was 2/5 filled. And how do you miss a whole ass potato?”
TJ: “Trade secret.”
Me: “Ok, now you’re just fucking with me.”
TJ: “The shredder missed the potato.”
Me: “But the bag was soggy. It was 2/5 filled. And how do you miss a whole ass potato?”
TJ: “Trade secret.”
Me: “Ok, now you’re just fucking with me.”
Seriously, the only real explanation for this, is an employee put a whole ass potato in the bag in retaliation OR their automated system messed up on a very large level and more potatoes are out there not become real chippy bois.
So this explanation makes the most logical sense. I still would like to think there’s some frustrated worker out there putting raw potatoes in with the real chippy bois, but prolly not.
Final Note: For everyone who’s following me for the first time. I’m a filmmaker from @USCCinema. You can find my work at quethelights.com/director
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If you’d like to support, follow me & check out my work. Cheers!
