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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
, 7 tweets, 3 min read Read on Twitter
haha^∞
Thank God, they've finally found a way for human beings to travel between Merced and Bakersfield
All aboad the Pointless Express, with stops in Merced, Shelbyville, Fresno, North Haverbrook, Bakersfield and points in between
I'm heading to Sacramento next week to pitch my $600 billion eco-friendly high speed catapult & net transportation system
we've only begun to scratch the surface of the magical 19th Century transportation technologies of the Future
There are 2.24 million passenger trips between LAX and SFO every year, at an average cost of $112; a total of $250 million per year. For the price of the Cal train, you could pay for all those flights for 4,000 years.

travelandleisure.com/travel-news/bu…
Correction, 400 years. #damndecimals
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
It was never my intention to offend the people of Nebraska as a whole, I only wished to express concern about the general inferiority and incompetence of their football team and corn farming. For this I unequivocally apologize.

At the same time, we must remember Nebraska sucks.
Anti-Nebraskanism is real. I sincerely thank Nebraskans for pointing out that I may have been unjustly seen as using anti-Nebraska tropes, however unintented.

In the future, I promise to remain vigilant for anti-Nebraskanism and its root cause, the pure evil that is Nebraska.
I really can't underscore how very, very, sincerely very sorry I am that the secretive Nebraska Lobby can't take any valid criticism, or the truth about how (((Johnny Carson))) and (((Dick Cavett))) controlled the 1970s talk show media
Read 5 tweets
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
in a political climate far too dominated by personality cults, it's nice to see someone with absolutely no personality
Finally, a towering voice of vaguely pleasant convictions to speak out for America's long-neglected Bland Community
"Trump and Bernie are like poets, you know, like Shelley or Byron, or people like that. The two totally distinct types of visionaries, it’s like fire and ice, and I feel my role is to be kind of the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water."
Read 3 tweets
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David Burge
@iowahawkblog
Ever get the feeling you're living inside a Tom Wolfe novel
Bianca declined comment, leading some to speculate she was cooperating with the ASPCA special prosecutor
Normally I'm a big fan of Tom Wolfe, but some of these characters are so absurd it just ruins the novel's believability
Read 6 tweets

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A deadly cancer in our political system is this lack of political understanding in/of the polity beyond superficial analysis of events.

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