, 10 tweets, 2 min read Read on Twitter
Warning: This thread is a discussion about weight and bodies and #fatness and psychiatric medication and psychiatrists who aren’t honest about side effects or decide for you that a side effect doesn’t matter. If you are triggered by any of those things, do not read further.
I was prescribed mirtazapine to deal with rebound insomnia from coming off daily clonazepam. I was concerned about metabolic side effects. My former (thank God) psychiatrist dismissed those concerns.
My back pain has been so much worse lately. I can feel my thighs rubbing together when I walk and exercise and they are RED at the end of the day. I don’t know how to be in my body anymore. I’m already clumsy and have bad proprioception. Now I REALLY don’t know where my body is.
Today I found out I gained 23 pounds in about a month and a half. I don’t keep a scale in my house. I just knew my back hurt more and my clothes didn’t fit.
I’m officially “overweight” for the first time in my life, because my psychiatrist didn’t think my concerns about weight gain were likely or a big deal.
The biggest killer of autistic people with and without intellectual disability isn’t seizures or suicide. It’s heart disease. We get prescribed medication and psychiatrists often do not care that much about the rest of our health.
There’s this bizarre kind of victim blaming that happens. There are all of these programs to get us to eat more veggies. To exercise more. Meanwhile, we get prescribed psych meds that fuck up our metabolisms.
I’ve stopped taking the mirtazapine. Things should go back to normal eventually? I don’t actually know. I don’t know if my body is ever going to be the body I’ve grown used to and expected again.
I feel angry because this was not the result of informed consent. This was not a trade off I decided was worth it. This was something that was done to me because I trusted my psychiatrist when she said, “there aren’t metabolic side effects.”
I don’t think fat is bad or ugly. But I want control over my own body. I’m an adult. I deserve to have full information and make my own decisions.
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