Thread by @TheOblongata

“Umm is barren”: The power of words (thread)

1: 🤔Alhamdulillah for everything, including the humble ability to thank Him.

Sometimes 1 tweet, 1 word, 1 look makes all the difference, inspiring one to be introspective, to reexamine stances in the faith, of the faith.

2: “Umm is childless” vs. “Umm is barren”. I dont know about you but I think many will agree that even though both lines mean “lacking a child", the two lines inspire different feelings, with barren implying a deeper connotation of lack.

When someone says barren, you FEEL it.

3: Words are powerful: they can soothe & heal, they can wound & kill. It is therefore no surprise that Islam cares much about how we make others feel. It is no surprise also that Quran draws our attention to how we use words, their impact on psyche, and even society as a whole.

4: Islam tells us that we need to control our tongues, that our words can lead us to hell. Yet our tongues have become so loose that we dont even pay attention to words that have profound meaning in the faith, let alone those that could hurt.

5: We use words like “munafiq”, “fasiq” etc without understanding their meaning. We are cavalier about calling non-Muslims (and even muslims) “kafir” ignoring the fact that kafir has a specific meaning & that Quran is precise in applying it to a specific subset of non-muslims.

6: 🤔I think the concept of “zihar” addressed in Suratul Mujadila explains the power of words well.

In Jahiliyyah, a man could say to his wife “you are like my mother” or “you are like my mother’s back”...

Now for those who dont know much about pre-islamic culture/history..

7: ..those words dont mean much, shouldnt mean much...and in our times, some might even consider it a compliment!

But in Jahiliyyah culture, those words shattered a woman’s life. Those words meant that a man had not only divorced a woman but divorced her in a cruel..

8: ..instant, irrevocable way such that she was no longer his wife but that she could also not marry again.

Aisha’s RA tells us how powerful the words were in their time; that when Khawla RA came to SAW pleading about Zihaar, the entire household was weeping, pleading..

9: ..for her too. They felt Khawla’s pain.

Words can hurt.

Now reflect on the very instructive way the Quran addresses zihar. First it gives a plain kind of statement: ~your wives cannot be like your mothers, because your mothers are those that give birth to you (as in"duh").

10: But then the Quran doesnt stop in admonishing word choice. It does two things:

First, it banishes the use of zihaar as a way of divorce thus ending its profound impact on the psyche, on women, and on society.

11: But then the Quran goes further. It punishes men who divorce by zihaar, prescribing an expiation: they must free a slave or fast two consecutive months or feed 60 indigents before resuming marital relations with the woman.

12: Pause.

Listen again: free a slave or fast 2 straight months. That expiation is similar to that of mistakenly TAKING A LIFE! All because of ~6 words.

That’s the Quran’s way of emphasizing the notion that how we make others feel is important; what & how we say things matters

13: 🤔One more thought: the concept of barreness is addressed in several nuanced ways in the Quran.

Consider Zakariya AS & Ibrahim AS both of whom were childless deep in their old age, barren by their societal standards. But Quran points out a lesson to us: both never lost hope

14: And behold they were granted offspring both by blood & importantly by faith. For example, Quran calls Ibrahim AS, the “father” of muslims (22:78) even though you & I are (likely) not biologically related to him.

The point: Quran tells us that a muslim is ever hopeful...

15: 🤔Do you realize that hopelessness is what turned Iblis to Shaitan, for after commiting a profound mistake, Iblis despaired of Allah’s Mercy? Unlike Adam AS, Iblis became utterly hopeless such that he didnt seek Allah’s Mercy/forgiveness..

16: 🤔Why then do we choose to call someone “barren” -a word that stings & connotes a hopeless situation over a less malignant word like “childless”, which keeps hope?

As muslims, is it really befitting of us to use words on other muslims, that could hurt or cause despair?