Thread by @EmporersNewC

Petitions are a great way to exercise democracy. I highly recommend it. I don’t think this one is going to get to a high enough number to make a difference, but if it does, I think it might go something like this...

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/2415…

1 million and Downing Street announce the prime minister "has said many times she will not countenance revoking Article 50".

1.8 million (The population of Northern Ireland.) The government aren’t remotely worried, because if Theresa is willing to go to ‘no deal’, then she is absolutely fine not caring about 1.8 million people.

3.1 million (The population of Wales.) The government will feel like they have to repeat the exact same statement that she is unwilling to revoke Article 50, or as we like to call it in political circles “The Theresa May gambit”

3.9 million, the magic number. It’s perfectly possible to get another referendum with this number if it is being pushed by a party with a leader that has been on Question Time every sodding other week.

(Bad luck Remainers)

5 million (The population of Scotland.) The language will soften from “not something she is prepared to do”, but the sentiment will be exactly the same.

6 million and Number 10 drops the soft language and reverts back to repeating the original message that the prime minister "will not countenance revoking Article 50".

7 million and Leave Means Leave start a petition that gets to 200 signatures but can’t get higher because of “security concerns”.

8 million and another Leave petition is started and climbs to 90 million, being cut back down to 1 million when the signatures from Moscow are stripped out.

9 million and Brendan O’Neil’s pen runs out of poison after authoring a marathon of reactionary articles about the petition and how it’s all about millennial privilege, or some other bullshit reason.

10 million (The population of Ireland, Scotland and Wales combined.) Number 10 actually take notice and start to worry behind closed doors, but will still play “The Theresa May gambit” leaving Downing street to announce "she will not countenance revoking Article 50"

11 million and Boris goes on television to say that we must stay and he actually voted Remain.

12 million and the petition becomes a tool parliament can use to stop the government solidly in its tracks. The MPs argue between themselves if they should use this tool but just can't agree.

13.7 million, and the count is larger than the number of people who voted for Theresa May. The men in grey suits make a visit to Downing Street.

14 million, Theresa May makes an angry public broadcast complaining that the people are getting in the way of the people ,and the people want parliament to just get on with it.

15 million, and some leave backing politicians say they will consider having another referendum but only if the petition is shut down.

16,141,240, Theresa releases a statement to say she is not going to resign.

16,141,241, Theresa announces her resignation.

17 million, Jacob Rees-Mogg files for bankruptcy as sterling recovers and the UK stock markets start doing really very well.

17,410,743, Brexit is dead. Theresa revokes Article 50.

30.2 million, John Redwood stops saying that the poll doesn’t make a difference.

To be honest, the possibility of all this happening seems like a good reason to sign.

/End