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Since bagels are the topic of the day, let's talk about the fact that cream cheese is actually pretty gross and only serial killers like it
Also sour cream is an abomination. If cream is sour, that means it has gone bad. You don't then slop it on a taco or a bowl of chili, you maniacs.
And since we're on the subject of white condiments, let us finally admit that mayonnaise is useless and ranch dressing is salad dressing for people with IQs under 75
I haven't mentioned ricotta or cottage cheese because it should go without saying that both taste like cow vomit. Tartar sauce is for five year olds eating fish sticks. Basically there are no good white condiments, it turns out. I am openly racist against all white condiments.
Except for vanilla icing, if that counts as a condiment. Vanilla icing carries the heavy emotional burden of belonging to an inferior class of condiments and toppings. But it triumphs over that adversity and manages to elevate things like cinnamon rolls and cupcakes.
